guys..i'll never understand them.. if you can.. clue me in!!

marvinranch · 03-09-2005, 07:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bowstaff981

just wait, if he really likes you he'll talk to you about it.

Yep, that's what I always do. People will do what's important to them.

I always give "extra points" to any guy who will initiate a friendship with me.

thinbo · 03-12-2005, 04:17 PM

A possible explanation:

He is smitten. It's not you he is avoiding, it's the uncomfortable feelings that you seem to stir up in him.

The reason he doesn't talk to you when his guy friends are around, is pretty simple. His guy friends would imediately spot that he was smitten, and would take great pleasure in pointing this out to him, in all manner of imaginative and highly entertaining ways.

The reason he doesn't talk to you much at church, is that it is easier to stay focussed on God, when you try to pretend that the person you are smitten with, is not in the same room as you. I have done this loads of times.

Kevin071586 · 03-17-2005, 11:42 PM

Well since nobody has brought up this option i'll go ahead and suggest it...

Chances are if he's acting like he likes you, he does. HOWEVER, a lot of guys try not to be too "luvy-duby" around their other guy or girl friends just for the sake of having a good time and just hanging out with the gang. There is a pretty substantial difference between HANGING OUT with friends and BEING WITH your significant other.

There are some guys who are just completely enamored when they are with that person and can't help it, and there are those who intentionally put off the feelings and just treat you like a friend while with other friends. This action is also in part, due to what YOU want. Many girls I know would prefer to be treated differently in public than in private. There are basically two types for this category: those that enjoy public affection, and those that don't.

What your job is, is first off to determine whether or not he likes you (and i'm sure that in your heart you really know... don't try to ignore the truth, that gets you into trouble). Then, you need to ask him why he treats you differently around other people.

On second thought, that might be a sneaky segue into finding out if he is interested in a relationship or not. Just slip it in at some point during a conversation when it seems right... and it'll be even better if you can phrase it as a comment rather than a question... just say "you're always so distant when we're around other people." You should be able to gauge his response and end your problem with that.

-Kevin

ForeverPraise · 03-21-2005, 09:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by exo

OK, I'll be the one to say it: From your post, I think that you might not be ready to be in any sort of relationship right now. I'd focus on your relationship with God and maturing as a person.

are you saying that i'm immature, because thats not relevant to anything that's going on.. and i am NOT immature.. so i dont' know what you seem to think is going on, but you wouldn't know me well enough to make that kind of statement...

Chris · 03-21-2005, 09:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ForeverPraise

are you saying that i'm immature, because thats not relevant to anything that's going on.. and i am NOT immature.. so i dont' know what you seem to think is going on, but you wouldn't know me well enough to make that kind of statement...

We have to go by what you give us. Most advice in here is speculation at best. An educated guess based on the information we are given. I apologise but your post was less than wonderfully put together. And it was characteristic of other posters we have had many of whom were too immature to be in a dating relationship. And going right on the defensive usually only serves to support our ideas.

HOWEVER, I don't think this was Exo's intent. I think what he meant that you need to concentrate on growing in Christ before you go looking for boys. They'll most of the time only distract you from Him as it is.