CLICK HERE AND JOIN CHRISTIAN GUITAR TODAY!
Welcome to the Christian Guitar Forum.
Welcome to Christian Guitar, the world's largest Christian guitar resource and forum community where over 150,000 Christian music fans from around the world come to discuss all Christian music, living the Christian life, current events, etc. in over 3,000,000 posted discussions!

You are currently viewing our boards as a guest which gives you limited access to view most discussions, articles and photo galleries. By joining our FREE community you will have access to post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), blog about your Christian journey, suggest and share guitar tabs, see LESS forum advertisements, upload photos in your own photo album and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free so please, join our community today!

If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact contact support.


Go Back   Christian Guitar Forum > Music & Musicians > Logistics > Songwriting
Register FAQ Members List Calendar Arcade Mark Forums Read

View Poll Results: What do you think?
Love it. 0 0%
Like it. 3 75.00%
In the middle. 1 25.00%
Don't like it. 0 0%
Hate it. 0 0%
Voters: 4. You may not vote on this poll

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 02-15-2005, 09:55 PM   #1
My shoes are sexy...
 
DJ Kirby's Avatar
 
Joined: Oct 2004
Location: Traveling the world saying... "Can you hear me now?..."
Posts: 274
Send a message via AIM to DJ Kirby
Everyone But Me (RC)

Hey folks, i know I havent posted a song in a while but this one sprang from my recent troubles. Click the link to my blog (crazy antics) and look around page 8 or so to see why I wrote this. I know it doesnt ryhme all the time like my last ones but I think this one has more feeling to it. Tell me what you think and as always, there will be a poll.

Everyone But Me
Verse 1
Sitting alone in my room,
Thinking about how you abandoned me,
Wishing you would come into my life,
And keep your promise to me.

Chorus
You were never there for me,
You never cared,
God, I never saw you work in me you did in others,
You never dared,
Never came into my life and gave me joy like theirs,
Never did or said anything to tell me you were there,
Show me that you're there God, show me that you care,
Prove me wrong, God, if you dare.

Verse 2
Sitting home on a friday night,
Thinking about all the problems you put in my life,
Wishing you would grab my hand, bring me to your light,
And give me some guidance and comfort, and a sign.

Chorus

Verse 3
Sitting in youth group, staring at the wall,
Thinking about why I'm here and who I am,
Wishing you would give me a hint, a "tip of the day",
And help me through it all.

Chorus

Bridge
Where are you in my life, where are you amidst it all,
I'm just a high school kid, going from stumbling to a fall.

Chorus

__________________
<marquee>"Their anger hurts my ears: Been running strong for seven years: Rather than fix the problems, they never solve them: It makes no sense at all: I see them every day: We get along, so why can't they?: If this is what he wants and this is what she wants: Then why is there so much pain?..."</marquee>
<marquee>"Everytime I look for you the sun goes down: And I stumble when this whole thing runs aground: I left another message, you are never around: But everytime I look for you the sun goes down once more: Will the last one out please shut the door..."</marquee>
My crazy antics. The short story of a lonely guy...
2/15/05- "Everyone But Me": Latest Song
One of my lastest songs!
Another one of my lastest songs!
....Yet, another one of my songs...
I need a picture of Kirby for my Avatar if you haven't already noticed. If anyone finds a good Kirby pic on the web, please send me the URL so I can put it in my avatar. Thanks.
DJ Kirby is offline   Reply With Quote
Sponsored Links
Old 02-16-2005, 10:26 PM   #2
Freedom_fighter
 
freedom_fighter's Avatar
 
Joined: Sep 2004
Location: The big "C", Cincinnati, Ohio
Posts: 50
Send a message via MSN to freedom_fighter
like it

Okay, im a songwriter too,that's why im here. There are 3 definitive things to anybody's song.....3. It will never be perfect . 2. Someone will relate to it...And At least 1 person will hate your song. I like this song...I can relate to it, cuz somtimes i hear people at church on how God is so releveant in thier lives...and im looking like, dude, where are you. I m 17 so i get it.

1. maybe take out a couple God's. - its obvious thats who your talkin about after the first one. And maybe instead of saying - Im just a high school kid - you could say somthin like " Im just one in the blood " as in one that Jesus died for...Because if you take this song somewhere - 5 years later you won't be a high schooler... So just some things I think...But i really like this song...

And according to where God has you...you could add a positive verse in this... like ... somthing....You heard my plea, and you've taken me a transformed me and i've endeavored forever the pains you throw at me...something like that...I rewrite a song like 4 times before im satisfied...

Good work - always easier to write when it's where your really at.
__________________
undefined


" And now that i see you, I'll believe no matter what they say"!

- " Alive" P.O.D
freedom_fighter is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-17-2005, 09:15 PM   #3
My shoes are sexy...
 
DJ Kirby's Avatar
 
Joined: Oct 2004
Location: Traveling the world saying... "Can you hear me now?..."
Posts: 274
Send a message via AIM to DJ Kirby
Yeah, thanks. Really I would add something positive, but im nowhere close to that now. I dont know if you read my blog or not, but I had faith that was next to nothing yesterday. Today, it's hard even to find if i have faith. If God really wanted all this to happen to me, the least he could do is answer my prayers, answer me when I ask him what purpose does all this have. I'm also on the verge of a mental breakdown cause of all the stress. I can literally feel my sanity slipping away. Have you ever read a song by a crazy guy. It's not that good huh?... we'll I might be back... depends if i can get my thoughts together...bye...
__________________
<marquee>"Their anger hurts my ears: Been running strong for seven years: Rather than fix the problems, they never solve them: It makes no sense at all: I see them every day: We get along, so why can't they?: If this is what he wants and this is what she wants: Then why is there so much pain?..."</marquee>
<marquee>"Everytime I look for you the sun goes down: And I stumble when this whole thing runs aground: I left another message, you are never around: But everytime I look for you the sun goes down once more: Will the last one out please shut the door..."</marquee>
My crazy antics. The short story of a lonely guy...
2/15/05- "Everyone But Me": Latest Song
One of my lastest songs!
Another one of my lastest songs!
....Yet, another one of my songs...
I need a picture of Kirby for my Avatar if you haven't already noticed. If anyone finds a good Kirby pic on the web, please send me the URL so I can put it in my avatar. Thanks.
DJ Kirby is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-18-2005, 07:11 AM   #4
Scarlet. Gray.
 
Small's Avatar
 
Joined: Nov 2004
Location: OH-IO
Posts: 5,939
I like it. It's the type of song christians tend to not write....We like to think about positive things (i.e. my latest songs) and we ignore things. I like the rawness of the song, but I don't feel like doing a line-by-line critique right now. I may later though...
__________________
No name, no links, no rhymes,
Just two centered lines and a smiley:

Small is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-19-2005, 10:58 AM   #5
I'm a lowercase people
 
Fatherladd's Avatar
 
Joined: Dec 2004
Location: In your pocket!
Posts: 231
I don't want to sound mean right now but I don't agree with freedom fighter on one thing.
I think that the problem with this world is we're taking God's name out of everything.
If anything there should be more God's in his song.
__________________
"The Surf"

Visit my purevolume <--
New songs posted often.
Fatherladd is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-19-2005, 08:10 PM   #6
My shoes are sexy...
 
DJ Kirby's Avatar
 
Joined: Oct 2004
Location: Traveling the world saying... "Can you hear me now?..."
Posts: 274
Send a message via AIM to DJ Kirby
This is all very good. Thanks for your opinions.
__________________
<marquee>"Their anger hurts my ears: Been running strong for seven years: Rather than fix the problems, they never solve them: It makes no sense at all: I see them every day: We get along, so why can't they?: If this is what he wants and this is what she wants: Then why is there so much pain?..."</marquee>
<marquee>"Everytime I look for you the sun goes down: And I stumble when this whole thing runs aground: I left another message, you are never around: But everytime I look for you the sun goes down once more: Will the last one out please shut the door..."</marquee>
My crazy antics. The short story of a lonely guy...
2/15/05- "Everyone But Me": Latest Song
One of my lastest songs!
Another one of my lastest songs!
....Yet, another one of my songs...
I need a picture of Kirby for my Avatar if you haven't already noticed. If anyone finds a good Kirby pic on the web, please send me the URL so I can put it in my avatar. Thanks.
DJ Kirby is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-20-2005, 12:27 PM   #7
Freedom_fighter
 
freedom_fighter's Avatar
 
Joined: Sep 2004
Location: The big "C", Cincinnati, Ohio
Posts: 50
Send a message via MSN to freedom_fighter
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fatherladd
I don't want to sound mean right now but I don't agree with freedom fighter on one thing.
I think that the problem with this world is we're taking God's name out of everything.
If anything there should be more God's in his song.

Yeh , your right.....But instead of like 4 God's you could say ... Father ...You know?
__________________
undefined


" And now that i see you, I'll believe no matter what they say"!

- " Alive" P.O.D
freedom_fighter is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On



All times are GMT -6. The time now is 04:42 PM.