Everyone But Me (RC)

DJ Kirby · 02-15-2005, 09:55 PM

Hey folks, i know I havent posted a song in a while but this one sprang from my recent troubles. Click the link to my blog (crazy antics) and look around page 8 or so to see why I wrote this. I know it doesnt ryhme all the time like my last ones but I think this one has more feeling to it. Tell me what you think and as always, there will be a poll.

Everyone But Me
Verse 1
Sitting alone in my room,
Thinking about how you abandoned me,
Wishing you would come into my life,
And keep your promise to me.

Chorus
You were never there for me,
You never cared,
God, I never saw you work in me you did in others,
You never dared,
Never came into my life and gave me joy like theirs,
Never did or said anything to tell me you were there,
Show me that you're there God, show me that you care,
Prove me wrong, God, if you dare.

Verse 2
Sitting home on a friday night,
Thinking about all the problems you put in my life,
Wishing you would grab my hand, bring me to your light,
And give me some guidance and comfort, and a sign.

Chorus

Verse 3
Sitting in youth group, staring at the wall,
Thinking about why I'm here and who I am,
Wishing you would give me a hint, a "tip of the day",
And help me through it all.

Chorus

Bridge
Where are you in my life, where are you amidst it all,
I'm just a high school kid, going from stumbling to a fall.

Chorus

freedom_fighter · 02-16-2005, 10:26 PM

Okay, im a songwriter too,that's why im here. There are 3 definitive things to anybody's song.....3. It will never be perfect . 2. Someone will relate to it...And At least 1 person will hate your song. I like this song...I can relate to it, cuz somtimes i hear people at church on how God is so releveant in thier lives...and im looking like, dude, where are you. I m 17 so i get it.

1. maybe take out a couple God's. - its obvious thats who your talkin about after the first one. And maybe instead of saying - Im just a high school kid - you could say somthin like " Im just one in the blood " as in one that Jesus died for...Because if you take this song somewhere - 5 years later you won't be a high schooler... So just some things I think...But i really like this song...

And according to where God has you...you could add a positive verse in this... like ... somthing....You heard my plea, and you've taken me a transformed me and i've endeavored forever the pains you throw at me...something like that...I rewrite a song like 4 times before im satisfied...

Good work - always easier to write when it's where your really at.

DJ Kirby · 02-17-2005, 09:15 PM

Yeah, thanks. Really I would add something positive, but im nowhere close to that now. I dont know if you read my blog or not, but I had faith that was next to nothing yesterday. Today, it's hard even to find if i have faith. If God really wanted all this to happen to me, the least he could do is answer my prayers, answer me when I ask him what purpose does all this have. I'm also on the verge of a mental breakdown cause of all the stress. I can literally feel my sanity slipping away. Have you ever read a song by a crazy guy. It's not that good huh?... we'll I might be back... depends if i can get my thoughts together...bye...

**Small** · 02-18-2005, 07:11 AM

I like it. It's the type of song christians tend to not write....We like to think about positive things (i.e. my latest songs) and we ignore things. I like the rawness of the song, but I don't feel like doing a line-by-line critique right now. I may later though...

Fatherladd · 02-19-2005, 10:58 AM

I don't want to sound mean right now but I don't agree with freedom fighter on one thing.
I think that the problem with this world is we're taking God's name out of everything.
If anything there should be more God's in his song.

DJ Kirby · 02-19-2005, 08:10 PM

This is all very good. Thanks for your opinions.

freedom_fighter · 02-20-2005, 12:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fatherladd

I don't want to sound mean right now but I don't agree with freedom fighter on one thing.
I think that the problem with this world is we're taking God's name out of everything.
If anything there should be more God's in his song.

Yeh , your right.....But instead of like 4 God's you could say ... Father ...You know?