There's this girl I like...

**bread man** · 03-01-2005, 11:47 PM

I have one piece of advice for you.

The guy should lead the relationship, it's how it was meant to be. Now, there's no particular problem with the girl being older, but at your age, it's a pretty risky thing. I am 16 myself at the moment and when I look at the person I was when I was 14 and the person I am now, the difference is crazy. You need to wait until you are mature enough to lead the relationship, otherwise this is what is likely to happen:

She will lead the relationship because she is the older one. This is not a good thing. For one, when it comes to making decisions in hard times, girls get much more emotional than guys and it's much easier for guys to make decisions without emotions clouding their judgement. If she does lead the relationship, you won't have an easy time ahead of you.

Now, age difference may not be a big deal when you get into your 20s, but at this point in your life, it is absolutely massive.

ForeverPraise · 03-03-2005, 09:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bread man

I have one piece of advice for you.

The guy should lead the relationship, it's how it was meant to be. Now, there's no particular problem with the girl being older, but at your age, it's a pretty risky thing. I am 16 myself at the moment and when I look at the person I was when I was 14 and the person I am now, the difference is crazy. You need to wait until you are mature enough to lead the relationship, otherwise this is what is likely to happen:

She will lead the relationship because she is the older one. This is not a good thing. For one, when it comes to making decisions in hard times, girls get much more emotional than guys and it's much easier for guys to make decisions without emotions clouding their judgement. If she does lead the relationship, you won't have an easy time ahead of you.

Now, age difference may not be a big deal when you get into your 20s, but at this point in your life, it is absolutely massive.

i completely agree.. i think that you should definitely wait.. i am 16 right now, and from what i have experienced... while dating a 14 year old.. there needs to be enough time to actually mature.. as a chic i would have to say that maturity needs to come into play, and the basis for a relationship should be constantly coming into mind. WHy do you want to be with her.. cuz you must make sure that it is for the right reasons, and that it's not just the hormones talking..lol.. bu ti don't know you that well enough in order to tell how you REALLY feel about her.. a while back, i had a 9 year old IM me, and ask how old i was, because he was looking for a girlfriend between 10 and 12.. and i got into this long discussion with him, and as it turns out.. he only wanted a girlfriend because everyone else did.. and then he finally decided that i was right, and that he needed to wait, because he really had no idea what the first priority in the relationship should be: GOD...

but i agree that the guy should lead, and if you're younger, 14 and 16.., that's a major problem.. i mean.. when a girl turns 16, she thinks that she has completely changed and grown up, and like she is the most mature person in the world.. (trust me i know..).. but she's not.. and she may make some pretty bad decisions.. and i just advise that you wait it out, and see what happens... i think you need to wait until you're a little older, and more mature!

In Him,
kate

**and im not trying to be the bad guy in this situation.. i already talked ot you in your journal..**

**bread man** · 03-05-2005, 11:36 PM

My friend is exactly a year younger than me and his woman is a year and a bit older than him. By nature, she is a bossy person and she tries to order him around a bit. She was doing it the other night, so I made him go and pwn her and put her in her place. Neither the guy or the girl in a relationship should be ordering the other around, but the guy should lead. It's working a lot better now between them now.

guitarfreak217 · 03-06-2005, 11:57 AM

Hey, atleast you guy and the girl that also mentioned the liking of a churchmate can see them. I became very good friends over the summer with a girl that was going to my church but she is now living in Wisconsin. And the best advice is to become friends first. What happened with me was that I didn't even like her as more than a friend until I had known her for about a year. It is now three years later and I still do like as more than a friend but if she doesn't want that, then I'm fine with it because we're still really good friends.

Oh, and I still can't believe the first words she said to me were. She was playing air hockey with my sister(oh and the girl is 2 and a half years older than me) at youth group and I walked over there and she started losing. So she said "You're bad luck." How's that for an introduction.

Some Kid · 03-06-2005, 07:56 PM

I like this girl at my church, but, I have been an acquaintance of hers for a long time (like, since we were kids) the trouble is that she goes to a different school than me. I have no insight on her school life, but, this is love, like, she fills all my thoughts. a little help?

Nate · 03-06-2005, 08:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bread man

My friend is exactly a year younger than me and his woman is a year and a bit older than him. By nature, she is a bossy person and she tries to order him around a bit. She was doing it the other night, so I made him go and pwn her and put her in her place. Neither the guy or the girl in a relationship should be ordering the other around, but the guy should lead. It's working a lot better now between them now.

No, scratch that.

Quote:

Originally Posted by this entire thread

blah blah blah

Much better.

Nathanael · 03-06-2005, 08:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Some Kid

I like this girl at my church, but, I have been an acquaintance of hers for a long time (like, since we were kids) the trouble is that she goes to a different school than me. I have no insight on her school life, but, this is love, like, she fills all my thoughts. a little help?

"Hey, what's up? Wanna go out for pizza with some friends sometime?"

BWyatt · 03-06-2005, 08:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Some Kid

I like this girl at my church, but, I have been an acquaintance of hers for a long time (like, since we were kids) the trouble is that she goes to a different school than me. I have no insight on her school life, but, this is love, like, she fills all my thoughts. a little help?

I have one thought for you. It's not love. It's infatuation, which can lead to love but is, in fact, entirely different. You have a crush on her.

If you have some common friends (through church, for example), the pizza thing is a great idea. Just get a bunch of friends together and get her to go with you. I did that a couple of times rather successfully in my day (man, I really sound old sometimes)