[Twain's Mystery]

This is another one I've been working on, everything's definately tentative still. Some lines are fillers until I can come up with better ones (which I'm hoping you guys can help out with ). Oh yeah! I have music and stuff too! Just it sounds like crud b/c I have no equipment of any kind. But yeah, I'm kinda juggling between the two titles up there...well you'll see in a second why.

I'm running, running through this crowd
Running through this town
But even safety in numbers ain't enough
I'm way out past the breakers
And the facade faker
That I've been

So what's my destination?
As I pull out from the station
I've been aimless for so long
Like a hound to it's quarry
Someone's been after me
And I don't think He'll leave me alone

(chorus)
So I'll sail over the sea
I'll ride on these wings
I'll fly to the place where the stars are up close
I'll sleep beneath the waves
In the shadow of death's gates
Cause Your voice haunts me everywhere I go

The miles, the miles keep on coming
But I just keep on running
I keep on being led bound for nowhere
I fear that with every step I tread
I might get too far ahead
A million miles out

[Blindman]

I like the chorus, but I would change two lines: shorten the one line to "I'll fly to where the stars are up close" (take out "the place" to make the line more balanced (in terms of syllables) with the last line), and maybe change "Cause" to "but" to stick more with the sense of the psalm - you aren't doing these things _because_ God is with you, but rather He's with you despite what you're doing.

I like the part "...way out past the breakers / and the facade faker / that I've been." By "past the breakers" are you talking about putting out to sea? Because if so, you could follow up on that image; perhaps "push off from the shore" instead of "pull out from the station" (although that would force you to find a different rhyme.) Your whole chorus focuses on ocean imagery, so perhaps rather than presenting a wide variety of images in the verses (walking, running, riding a train, sailing) you could focus more on that particular one. You could use the sea as a sort of symbol: drifting alone, and yet surrounded and supported by the water, as you are by God's love.

[Twain's Mystery]

Whoops, hadn't logged in for a while. The whole thing about the chorus is that I wrote it not really about the ocean, but more to mirror Ps. 139.

"So I'll sail over the sea" / "...if I settle on the far side of the sea"
"I'll ride on these wings" / "If I rise on the wings of the dawn..."
"I'll fly to the place where the stars are up close" / "If I go up to the heavens..."

And so on and so forth. The whole gist behind the song's not really so much of what the Psalmist had in mind, but sorta the opposite. Instead of saying "Where can I go" as in where can I go where God isn't going to forsake me to "Where can I go" as in where can I go to escape God b/c I want to. I dunno, I think that's what I had in mind anyways...

I do agree with the changing of the "station" line. The more I look at it the more I don't like it. Thanks!