How old to have a girl friend?

Benjaguy · 02-03-2005, 08:27 PM

how old to you think you should be before you get a girl friend, not dating and stuff but having a girl friend.

**Epaphras** · 02-03-2005, 08:40 PM

I voted 18 but age is really secondary to maturity. Each person is different.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Benjaguy

not dating and stuff but having a girl friend.

What's the difference?

_Epaphras

Symbiotic · 02-03-2005, 08:42 PM

I was 15(barely) when i started going out with my g/f...but it wasn't anything serious(not that it's overly serious now[well, in some respects, it is; in others, not so much]).....Now i'm 17 and she's gonna be 18 soon(yes, she's older than me by 5 months)....i don't know if we shoulda been going out at 15 or not....but i don't think, even if we waited a year and then went out, we'd have a relationship like we have now...she just went through a rough time(with her parents splitting up and all)....bkut i fiure that 16 is prbably a ok time to start to date....i kinda do regret going out at 15, cause, like, "You liked a girl since you were 15?" just sounds plain weird....i dunno...maybe i shouldn't giveadvice to this Q, being a teen myself....peace!

Symbiotic · 02-03-2005, 08:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Epaphras

I voted 18 but age is really secondary to maturity. Each person is different.
What's the difference?

_Epaphras

ya...maturity play a big part too....i like to think myself mature....sometimes...when i need to be...

***BillSPrestonEsq*** · 02-03-2005, 09:01 PM

Considering and preparing for marriage.

Also, Ive never met a 16 year old truly prepared for the struggles of a relationship and the 18 year olds who seem that way to me could be numbered on one hand that I have met.

A relationship as you are a bit older has much greater chances. Besides, we all, even I, overestimate our strength and maturity and wisdom.

natedawg5280 · 02-03-2005, 09:02 PM

What about 15 and 17?

FilltheEarth · 02-03-2005, 09:06 PM

Have you ever read, "Why I kissed dating goodbye" by Joshua Harris?

I really identify with much that he writes about in there. IN my mind, there should not be a stage in a relationship called, "girlfriend" or "boyfriend". It should be "friends" and then proceed maybe to "friends who are contemplating marriage" and then "engagement" and then "marriage."

Because, it is really messed up that two people get their emotions all intertwined and have a sense of "belong to each other" like, "She's MY girlfriend" when they have no covenant between them and no clear intentions of being married.

I say, have Godly pure friendships until you start to realize you are going to begin transitioning into a possible marriage. (and I don't mean the kind of friendships when you say you're "just friends" but everyone else can tell you are so much more than that.)

Heather

***BillSPrestonEsq*** · 02-03-2005, 09:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FilltheEarth

Have you ever read, "Why I kissed dating goodbye" by Joshua Harris?

I really identify with much that he writes about in there. IN my mind, there should not be a stage in a relationship called, "girlfriend" or "boyfriend". It should be "friends" and then proceed maybe to "friends who are contemplating marriage" and then "engagement" and then "marriage."

Because, it is really messed up that two people get their emotions all intertwined and have a sense of "belong to each other" like, "She's MY girlfriend" when they have no covenant between them and no clear intentions of being married.

I say, have Godly pure friendships until you start to realize you are going to begin transitioning into a possible marriage. (and I don't mean the kind of friendships when you say you're "just friends" but everyone else can tell you are so much more than that.)

Heather

Now I don't mean to be rude, but Joshua Harris' book was not great. Also, Id much rather go with girlfriend or fiancee, than a whole explanation. Also, without an inbetween stage things can get messier, much messier. I have seen friends where one party was sure it was heading to marriage and the other thought they were just friends. It was horrid, the communication was missing.

You can date in a godly fashion, and have a girlfriend in a godly manner. Semantics don't change anything.

DJ Kirby · 02-03-2005, 09:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Epaphras

I voted 18 but age is really secondary to maturity. Each person is different.
What's the difference?

_Epaphras

I second that.

leenieweenie · 02-03-2005, 10:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DJ Kirby

I second that.

me too

Nate · 02-03-2005, 10:18 PM

27.667

bobthecockroach · 02-03-2005, 10:38 PM

Older. I say that because I'm 18 and I wouldn't be ready.

sparklystuff · 02-03-2005, 10:55 PM

yeah...my now husband was 15 when we started going out, I was 14. We spend time over each other's houses with our families around. We didn't go out alone until I was 16 and he was 17. We married when I was 18 and he was 19. We were absoultely ready. Our relationship was never off and on, we lead a solid relationship. Our relationship was honored by our youth leaders, (both churches) our teachers from our school (we attended a private christian school) our parents, etc. Our peers looked up to us. For our foundation, for our stand for purity, and how we didn't completely consume ourselves in the relationship and left time for other friends. We served God through music, teaching young children in ministry, leading Bible studies, and later as assistant youth leaders. In some eyes 14 years old is WAY too young to be in a relationship. Maybe for many it would be, but I know that I was ready for a relationship. My husband has always been my counterpart. We are best friends. We fostered each other's emotion, and spiritual growth by being together all through our teen years. We essentially grew up together. So instead of meeting later in life and having to adapt to each other as completely seperate people stuck in their ways, we had the unique opportunity to grow together and meld our lives together.

I promote young dating, as long as the parties are responsible, allow family involvement, and surround themselves in Christian fellowship and peers.

Thats my take

Symbiotic · 02-04-2005, 12:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FilltheEarth

Have you ever read, "Why I kissed dating goodbye" by Joshua Harris?

I really identify with much that he writes about in there. IN my mind, there should not be a stage in a relationship called, "girlfriend" or "boyfriend". It should be "friends" and then proceed maybe to "friends who are contemplating marriage" and then "engagement" and then "marriage."

Because, it is really messed up that two people get their emotions all intertwined and have a sense of "belong to each other" like, "She's MY girlfriend" when they have no covenant between them and no clear intentions of being married.

I say, have Godly pure friendships until you start to realize you are going to begin transitioning into a possible marriage. (and I don't mean the kind of friendships when you say you're "just friends" but everyone else can tell you are so much more than that.)

Heather

ya....plain and simple: it stunk....and not cause i think dating is good....what BillSPrestonEsq said makes sense....and besides, friends are friends....nothing more....in order to contemplate marriage, you have to have some sort of "connection" other than just friendship....and dating will give you that "bond"(if that's the word i mean)....

Kevin071586 · 02-04-2005, 12:21 AM

As true as it may be that emotions can get confused at a young age, it is also true that they may get just as confused at an older age.

Age really is an insignificant bearing on the emotional stress one might incur in a relationship. Relationships have an age in themselves. When you enter your first relationship, you are like a newborn and generally are quite vulnerable. Over time, as your "Relationship Age" matures, you become more aware of your own feelings, your partner's, and the status of the intangable link between the two.

I do believe that younger relationships (less than real Age 16, but more than say... Age 13) are doomed because the general lack of communication and ability to see the other person. Nevertheless, these relationships are just as significant as preschool is to your education. Any kind of emotional or physicality shouldn't be blamed on the relationship... rather, it should be placed on the lack of parental involvement and/or social situation.

I once had a teacher who always said "Date at least 50 women before getting married." He always followed that up with a speech about how it wasn't meant to be literal, but said how you really need to get to know different people before settling down into something that could be doomed for failure because you thought that that was how it was suppose to be.

Now i'm not telling people to go sleeping around, but past age 16 the restrictions on dating and relationships should really be lifted. People need to have an amount of freedom, eventually.

We all make mistakes, and we are all forgiven for them. It's our job not to make them again.

-Kevin