[GODguitarist]

Hi guys im dating a non-christian, she is wondful to me she understands what it is all bout she come to my church every now and then. but other people say is not good to date non-christians is that true

[Kato]

Yes, I'm sure someone else will bring up the scripture (I'm on my way out the door), but the bible says not to be equally yoked with unbelievers. Also think of how safe it is for your relationship with Christ, she won't be provoking you to pull your mind onto God, so she can only really do the oppisiote.

[Blindman]

Originally Posted by GODguitarist

Hi guys im dating a non-christian, she is wondful to me she understands what it is all bout she come to my church every now and then.

I spent years (2.5) dating a girl who, although culturally Christian, turned out to not have much of a faith outside her parents faith. God wasn't real to her in the same way that He is real to me - but it took me a long time to figure that out. Between her tempting me into things that I saw as sin, and her feeling resentful because of my growing interest in God, that relationship didn't go too well.

I finally left her when I realized that, although I was close to her in many ways, I was profoundly lonely and isolated because I couldn't connect to her in the one way that mattered most to me - my faith. I also discovered, from talking to her later, that dating me had been keeping her _away_ from God - because she was so eager to look like a good Christian to please me, she was working really hard to fake it, to pretend a relationship with Christ that she didn't have. Missionary dating doesn't work so well in practice.

That's why dating a non-Christian is such a bad idea: because if God is the center of your life and the core of your being, not being able to share that innermost part of yourself with your girlfriend will leave you lonely, no matter how close you grow to her.

[danalyn]

Originally Posted by Kato

Yes, I'm sure someone else will bring up the scripture (I'm on my way out the door), but the bible says not to be equally yoked with unbelievers. Also think of how safe it is for your relationship with Christ, she won't be provoking you to pull your mind onto God, so she can only really do the oppisiote.

ok! it's 2 Cor 6:14-17 "Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness? And what accord has Christ with Belial? Or what part has a believer with an unbeliever? And what agreement has the temple of God with idols? For you are the temple of the living God. As God has said: "I will dwell in them And walk among them. I will be their God, And they shall be My people." Therefore "Come out from among them And be separate, says the Lord. Do not touch what is unclean, And I will receive you. I will be a Father to you, And you shall be My sons and daughters, Says the LORD Almighty.""
also, I've been pointed to Amos 3:3 in the past: Can two walk together, unless they are agreed?

how much a part of your life is your Christianity? How strong are you in your beliefs? how important to you are they?
by dating (assuming dating is searching for a mate) you're considering spending the rest of your life with this person. Your considering having children with someone who doesn't share your beliefs. you're considering living the rest of your life with someone who will not read the Bible with you or be able to discuss what you're reading or learning.

[GODguitarist]

Thax guys for the advice i needed it but my GF has left me b/c she cant stand me going to church on sunday instead of spending time with her. there is one girl in my church that i like but i just dont know how to ask her out at this moment can anyone help? but if anyone else has more advice please share with me. Thax

[Sean]

Originally Posted by GODguitarist

Thax guys for the adive i needed it but my GF has left me b/c she cant stand me going to church on sunday instead of spending time with her. there is one girl in my church that i like but i just dont know how to ask her out at this moment can anyone help? but if anyone else has more adive please share with me. Thax

Don't ask her out.

Apperently within the last 24 hours someone you shouldn't have been involved with broke up with you. And now you suddently have feelings for someone else? You shouldn't be girl hoping.

The fact that that is what you're apperently trying to do indicates to me that you just want someone to fill a gap in your life no matter who it is. That sort of dependence on the opposite sex isn't health, and in all seriousness, it means you're just using the other person to fill some need in your life.

Plan and simple, I honestly don't think you're mature enough to be dating.

[DJ Kirby]

Originally Posted by Sean

Don't ask her out.

Apperently within the last 24 hours someone you shouldn't have been involved with broke up with you. And now you suddently have feelings for someone else? You shouldn't be girl hoping.

The fact that that is what you're apperently trying to do indicates to me that you just want someone to fill a gap in your life no matter who it is. That sort of dependence on the opposite sex isn't health, and in all seriousness, it means you're just using the other person to fill some need in your life.

Plan and simple, I honestly don't think you're mature enough to be dating.

Good advice Sean. I'd have to go with you on this. Trust me, when i say i've been there and done that, I really have. It's not good to be that needy. I used to be like that, until i realized it wasnt getting me anywhere, wasnt making me any happier, and most of all, wasnt teaching me to be self-reliant. In fact I guarantee you that those feelings that you have for this new girl are nothing but infatuation. I'll be around.

Later,
DJ Kirby

[Blindman]

Originally Posted by DJ Kirby

It's not good to be that needy. I used to be like that, until i realized it wasnt getting me anywhere, wasnt making me any happier, and most of all, wasnt teaching me to be self-reliant.

Neediness isn't exactly a sin, nor is self-reliance a virtue. If anything, it's the other way around. As human beings, we _are_ needy people, and any attempt to deny that or to learn self-reliance is a sin.

The problem isn't neediness (which is an absolute _necessity_ for all Christians) but how we seek to fill that need. I can testify that when I come to God with my neediness and brokenness, I find peace and fulfillment and a sense of worth in Him - I don't _need_ to be dating someone else, because in God I already know that I am loved and accepted and delighted in and deemed worthy.

That isn't to say that as Christians we don't need other people or shouldn't depend on them. We certainly do. But it's only when we're resting in God's love that we can truly give and receive help from others in a balanced way. Without God, we are needy without acknowledging our need, greedy, possessive, manipulative. With God we don't cease to be needy, but we're able to openly express our need to others - because to do so no longer threatens our pride - and to respond with delight and thankfulness when those needs are met.

[DJ Kirby]

Originally Posted by Blindman

Neediness isn't exactly a sin, nor is self-reliance a virtue. If anything, it's the other way around. As human beings, we _are_ needy people, and any attempt to deny that or to learn self-reliance is a sin.

The problem isn't neediness (which is an absolute _necessity_ for all Christians) but how we seek to fill that need. I can testify that when I come to God with my neediness and brokenness, I find peace and fulfillment and a sense of worth in Him - I don't _need_ to be dating someone else, because in God I already know that I am loved and accepted and delighted in and deemed worthy.

That isn't to say that as Christians we don't need other people or shouldn't depend on them. We certainly do. But it's only when we're resting in God's love that we can truly give and receive help from others in a balanced way. Without God, we are needy without acknowledging our need, greedy, possessive, manipulative. With God we don't cease to be needy, but we're able to openly express our need to others - because to do so no longer threatens our pride - and to respond with delight and thankfulness when those needs are met.

Sorry, let me clarify what i previously said. I was in a hurry so... yeah. I meant we shouldn't be that needy in terms of the opposite sex and trying to find the first person we can get our hands on. Really, honestly, what girl would find a clingy guy interesting... maybe interesting to watch. I'm just speaking from experience; I used to be like that. Made me really depressed when i didnt have someone there. Of course, like you said, we should, as Christians be needy for God, and we should have the need to express our feelings to our peers... but with the dating issue, to break up with someone and then in 24 hours try to get someone else to be in a relationship with you... something tells me that you're not mature enough and just want companionship... that is the needy i'm talking about. I hoped that clarified my point.

Peace,
DJ Kirby

[GODguitarist]

Originally Posted by DJ Kirby

Sorry, let me clarify what i previously said. I was in a hurry so... yeah. I meant we shouldn't be that needy in terms of the opposite sex and trying to find the first person we can get our hands on. Really, honestly, what girl would find a clingy guy interesting... maybe interesting to watch. I'm just speaking from experience; I used to be like that. Made me really depressed when i didnt have someone there. Of course, like you said, we should, as Christians be needy for God, and we should have the need to express our feelings to our peers... but with the dating issue, to break up with someone and then in 24 hours try to get someone else to be in a relationship with you... something tells me that you're not mature enough and just want companionship... that is the needy i'm talking about. I hoped that clarified my point.

Peace,
DJ Kirby

yeah thax DJ Kirby that clarifies your point. im not try to go out with her straight away, she just moved to nz 1 year go and started coming to my church ever since then ve had a crush on her, im just waiting for the right moment to ask her out.

[DJ Kirby]

Originally Posted by GODguitarist

yeah thax DJ Kirby that clarifies your point. im not try to go out with her straight away, she just moved to nz 1 year go and started coming to my church ever since then ve had a crush on her, im just waiting for the right moment to ask her out.

Wait, so you had a crush on this girl, and your last girlfriend didnt know about it?

[Skeeter]

Originally Posted by GODguitarist

yeah thax DJ Kirby that clarifies your point. im not try to go out with her straight away, she just moved to nz 1 year go and started coming to my church ever since then ve had a crush on her, im just waiting for the right moment to ask her out.

I will repeat what has previously been stated: you are not mature enough to be dating anyone right now. You were dating a non-Christian while having a crush on a girl in your church. Yesterday you got dumped and already you're trying to figure out when to ask her out? You need to stop, take a step back, and re-assess your life.

[DJ Kirby]

Originally Posted by Skeeter

I will repeat what has previously been stated: you are not mature enough to be dating anyone right now.

Dont think anytime soon either by the sound of things...

You were dating a non-Christian while having a crush on a girl in your church. Yesterday you got dumped and already you're trying to figure out when to ask her out? You need to stop, take a step back, and re-assess your life.

Grazie Skeeter. I glad another person sees that this kind of behavior isnt that good. I know this isnt what you wanna hear right now GODguitarist, but peccato. I'm mean, based on what you have told us, you're not mature enough right now to be dating. Like I said, right now, all you're searching for is companionship. All of these crushes and "loves" are infatuations. I'd say nothing more. I've been there, and for a good large portion of these people that are giving you this advice, they have also. It's only for the best to stay away from dating for awhile... until you're mature enough. Like I said, really, it's only for the best.

A presto,
DJ Kirby

[Chris]

This is not mature behaviour necessary for a stable, romantic relationship. The best thing anyone can tell you at this point is to take a break from girls for quite some time.

[GODguitarist]

Originally Posted by DJ Kirby

Dont think anytime soon either by the sound of things...

Grazie Skeeter. I glad another person sees that this kind of behavior isnt that good. I know this isnt what you wanna hear right now GODguitarist, but peccato. I'm mean, based on what you have told us, you're not mature enough right now to be dating. Like I said, right now, all you're searching for is companionship. All of these crushes and "loves" are infatuations. I'd say nothing more. I've been there, and for a good large portion of these people that are giving you this advice, they have also. It's only for the best to stay away from dating for awhile... until you're mature enough. Like I said, really, it's only for the best.

A presto,
DJ Kirby

Im going to take your advice bout dating, i am going to take a break from dating and think bout what u guys had to say to me. i am going to set a goal to not date for the whole of this year and maybe start dating again at the end of the year or begining of next year. but i know now not to date my non-Christian friends again.

GODguitarist