[SilverNitrate]

Originally Posted by underoath17

yea i dont plan on doing anything like that right away or soon. but i would kinda like to hold her hand.

Actually... I don't think it's something you "plan" (although I'm sure some do)... I did not plan on throwing my virginity away... but I did.

Originally Posted by bowstaff981

my pastor says that if you make up your mind ahead of time that you will never do something (ex: have sex, or make out etc. until you're married) then satan will have a much harder time tempting you into doing so.

I've had my mind up that I wasn't going to have sex until I was married for many years. That plan/desire was really strong... I was able to withstand temptation for many years... then one day, my hormones (actually, sinful desires) took control, and I had sex before I was married. Therefore, I don't think Satan has to do much tempting... we (humans) are evil/sinful enough to cause us to sin... we don't really need Satan's help.

[Blindman]

Yeah, setting boundaries and trying to keep them is not a very good way to avoid sexual sin. When we cross those boundaries, it isn't because of a momentary lapse in judgement or self-control, but because long before that, something began to go wrong in the relationship, some shift in what we're looking for and in how we view the other person. If we don't deal with whatever keeps pushing us up against those boundaries, they'll start to slowly shift.

Insecurity is one thing that pushes you past those boundaries - physical intimacy makes you feel more like a man/woman. So is the loneliness that almost everyone in our culture seems to suffer from. Lack of joy and delight in God, lack of His felt presence, can do it as well - the pleasure of knowing God is our best defense against sin, and when that pleasure is gone so is our resistance to tempation.

[DiosEsBuen]

ok but say lust became a problem and u wanted to have sex or anything along those lines - the best way to beat sin is by remebering God, just think: What Would Jesus Do ... that always helps me, if Jesus can do it, we can follow (or try to follow) in His footsteps God Bless

[sparklystuff]

Originally Posted by DiosEsBuen

ok but say lust became a problem and u wanted to have sex or anything along those lines - the best way to beat sin is by remebering God, just think: What Would Jesus Do ... that always helps me, if Jesus can do it, we can follow (or try to follow) in His footsteps God Bless

Although it sounds like a surefire method, it's really hard to remember that, or even care about that in the heat of the moment.

[Nate]

Originally Posted by sparklystuff

Although it sounds like a surefire method, it's really hard to remember that, or even care about that in the heat of the moment.

Yeah, that... and, as far as we can tell, Jesus never dated anyone anyway. If you're going to really do what Jesus would do, you should go off into the desert for forty days, be tempted by Satan to take over the world, and then begin three years of full-time public ministry ending in a tragic death. If you really want to put the icing on the cake, you could even rise from the grave.

What Would Jesus Do? is a fun, catchy, but ultimately worthless, sentiment. A better question is What Would Jesus Have Me Do?

In His love,
Nate

[Blindman]

Originally Posted by Nate

What Would Jesus Do? is a fun, catchy, but ultimately worthless, sentiment. A better question is What Would Jesus Have Me Do?

It was also a much more powerful idea back a century or so ago when the phrase was first coined (in the book _In His Steps_), back when it really did mean "What would Jesus Do" and not "What Would Jesus Not Do" (in other words, when it was meant as a challenge to do good instead of just a way to avoid sin.)

Originally Posted by DiosEsBuen

if Jesus can do it, we can follow (or try to follow) in His footsteps

But only Jesus had the strength to walk the path that He walked. Human beings are incapable of following in His footsteps; we're imperfect and sinful. Christianity is more than simply emulating Christ, doing what He did; if that were all that Christianity was, Jesus would be no more than a great teacher and the cross would be a senseless waste. In a tough situation, the correct solution is not to try as hard as you can to do the Christlike thing, but rather to call out to Jesus - the only one able to live the Christian life - for help.

[lopar]

My tip would be to be honest. I think honesty is really the make or break in almost every relationship. Now, you don't just meet the person and tell them every dark secret you have, but you should definitely be honest about how you feel.

For example, some *cough* very emotional people will just get mad at you and not talk to you, and you have no clue why. They just expect you to know what you did and apologize profusely.

I've never been in an actual relationship, but in watching others and my several failed attempts I've learned a WHOLE lot, and consider myself somewhat of an expert in the field... not when it comes to myself unfortunately but anytime anybody needs advice...

the few times i tried to start relationships i was always too shy or scared to say i liked the girl cause i thought it would end the friendship (i'm the kind of person who has only a few really good friends and treasures those relationships.) some of the time afterwards i found out that some of them actually were interested in me and were just waiting for me to say something, but got tired of waiting/etc. While in retrospect I'm glad those relationships didn't work out cause i'm really trying to just wait for God to set me up with somebody, the friendships could have even worked out alot better with honesty, because we might have been able to have a much shorter separation time as friends if boundary lines had been drawn without things exploding.

There always seems to be a line of tension when a guy likes a girl. Alot of girls can just absorb it and just want to stay friends, so they don't say anything to let the guy down, but i think it's alot more serious for the guy, cause he might have a hard time thinking about things outside the context of wanting a relationship. this obviously isn't true for everybody, but for alot of the people i've talked to it is. basically, as for a do, i just want to ask girls and guys to be honest. guys, you don't have to be like, 'HEY, I LIKE YOU!' right when you meet somebody, in fact, it's better to wait for God's timing, but don't lie to yourself either if you just think it wont work out when He might have something awesome planned. Girls, if you're uncomfortable, tell us. If the answer is no, and you know we want to ask, tell us. don't let us keep getting strung on because you don't want to hurt our feelings, because it'll end up hurting even more.

Above all, focus on God in everything you do relationally, cause He's actually interested in your love life, believe it or not!

Hope some of that was good advice.

[underoath17]

what the heck are u guys talking about? ur talking like ive done stuff and i havent. im just asking is it ok to like hold hands and like if shes tired she could lay her head on my shoulder, not ive done stuff and i need to tell her.

[Singin4Him82]

The most important thing in a Christ-centered relationship is to set boundries. Whatever they might be they should be boundries you have set because you've prayed and asked God's to show you what HE feels those boundries should be. Never set boundries based on what you think YOU can handle but on what God says about them. For some people holding hands may be to much for others it may be kissing, it's just a matter of what the Lord has given you the conviction about. However, remember the MOST IMPORTANT THING in a Christ-centered relationship is to keep your relationship with Christ far above your relationship with your signifigant other. By doing that everything in your relationship should line up with God's will for you both.

[Chris]

Originally Posted by underoath17

what the heck are u guys talking about? ur talking like ive done stuff and i havent. im just asking is it ok to like hold hands and like if shes tired she could lay her head on my shoulder, not ive done stuff and i need to tell her.

no one's accusing you. I think lopar was just setting an example of the necessity of honesty in a relationship.

Originally Posted by Singin4Him82

However, remember the MOST IMPORTANT THING in a Christ-centered relationship is to keep your relationship with Christ far above your relationship with your signifigant other. By doing that everything in your relationship should line up with God's will for you both.