[redbaron]

in all honesty it's self defeating.

If you are dumb enough to date someone who will break up with their current boy/girl friend to date you (the better catch of course), you're only setting yourself up for failure, because someone better than you *will* come along, and you've already proven they're the kind of person who'll jump ship for that.

Congratulations, you just won your own little piece of the "Poetic Justice Pie"--

Word to the wise:

Poetic Justice Pie, while having a cool rhyming name, does not taste good. In fact, it tastes like a combination of mold and rancid gym socks.

[backtoreality]

mmm.... pie...

Nice word picture though

BackToReality

[JESOd]

funny pie thing... lol.

but sometimes it may work out.

[Yojimbo]

Originally Posted by bobthecockroach

...who said it was only technically wrong to covet a spouse?!?!

Exodus 20:17
You shall not covet your neighbor's house; you shall not covet your neighbor's wife, nor his male servant, nor his female servant, nor his ox, nor his donkey, nor anything that is your neighbor's.

Let's see, you're coveting someone's girlfriend/boyfriend and someone themselves.

You're also in direct violation to the command to love your neighbor because love IS NOT JEALOUS.

But isn't that verse clearly referring to either a spouse or property? The difference between a girlfriend and a) a house and b) a spouse, is that in case a) a girlfriend is an independent person who is not owned by you, and in case b) she has not made a holy vow to you.

[backtoreality]

The verse is moot. Regardless of whether you agree with that, it still doesn't make sense to go after someone who's attached. It's simply utilitarian, weigh the pros/cons and take the weightier, when it's made clear in the Bible that we should look out for others interests, "Love your neighbor as yourself", the second greatest commandment. Honestly, who are you loving by those actions? You're not loving the other guy, I'd think that rather obvious, and you're just setting the girl in a bad situation, where she'll have to break up with the first guy or deal with the second guy.

PS Sorry for the 'you's if this is hypothetical, my mind just works that way.

BackToReality

[JWillett]

I find that the argument for NOT 'going after someone already in a relationship' is a very strong one. I agree with it totally! So I dont need to add any further points to this. However, having had this very thing happen to me recently whilst dating a girl for 2 years, I must say it can be very emotionally draining on everyone involved. All I can say is what ever position you are in, whether it be the pursuer, the pursued or the bystander (ie bf or gf who is already in the relationship), the best thing to do is to look to God through it all. If you have your hope in God, you will no longer look at your situation as a "your" personal problem, but know that God has something planned and it will be good!
God has a way of sorting these things out if you let Him, and it will reflect in your strength of character. As far as searching for partners is concerned, I would rather find someone more in love with God than with themselves or with others. If someone did end up letting you down, wouldnt that show where their heart is anyway?
Finally, if you are the pursuer, well... firstly, you have no assurances that you are the better man (or woman) for them, especially if you are pursuing them and not God! If you are meant to be with them, God is a better judge of that and He will do it His way. Better for you to look to Him and rely on Him and to not pursue something which will only show that your heart is in the wrong place. Thats what I think anyway

In His Love,
JW.

[bobthecockroach]

Originally Posted by Yojimbo

But isn't that verse clearly referring to either a spouse or property? The difference between a girlfriend and a) a house and b) a spouse, is that in case a) a girlfriend is an independent person who is not owned by you, and in case b) she has not made a holy vow to you.

Ok, then there's the basis of love not being jealous.

[DJ Kirby]

Originally Posted by bobthecockroach

Ok, then there's the basis of love not being jealous.

Exactly.