[Sean]

Originally Posted by cjcdrums

But WHY can't they be turned into a formula?

...because they aren't objects?

[Symbiotic]

I don't know what this "don't let her get to know you" crap is all about....my g/f and i were set up, and i never played the "mysterious guy" game....and she's alwas been interested in me....cjcdrums: i pesonally think you should try a different tactic....if a girl doesn't find you interesting, too bad....don't make her wait to find out that you're not interesting....

[Sean]

Originally Posted by cjcdrums

You would not believe how stressful and exhausting it is to argue against an entire messageboard, even if you are strongly motivated. It's utterly futile. Since I resigned, can you guys please stop bashing me now? Truce? And please no more "well, you should be more like this, and this," statements, because they've all been repeated like five times now. Thank you. I will now be a cookie cutter member and hide in the shadows because I'm just so tired of standing up for what I believe in.

I'm sorry if we've given you the impression we're just trying to bash you. That isn't it at all. I think we're all just really worried about the way you're describing the way you approach relationships. It really doesn't strike me as a healthy for either person in the relationship.


Here are three things I think you should seriously consider:

1. Can you find biblical precedent for your way of approaching relationships? Does your formula come from study of the Word of God or fleshy experimentation?

2. None of us know you, therefore none of us have any particular bias towards you. Based entirely off of what you are describing "AN ENTIRE MESSAGE BOARD" has been grossly opposed to what you're describing. We are here to give advise and universally we are opposed to what you are describing. That should really stick out to you that none of your brother's and sister's in Christ here support what you are describing.

3. If you did your method on a girl, would you feel comfortable telling her what you did and what your intentions were at ANY point in the relationship? If not, your relationship is based on lies and deceit.

[Symbiotic]

Originally Posted by cjcdrums

You would not believe how stressful and exhausting it is to argue against an entire messageboard, even if you are strongly motivated. It's utterly futile. Since I resigned, can you guys please stop bashing me now? Truce? And please no more "well, you should be more like this, and this," statements, because they've all been repeated like five times now. Thank you. I will now be a cookie cutter member and hide in the shadows because I'm just so tired of standing up for what I believe in.

I've had arguements against an entire thread before(well, the only people with the same opinion couldn't argue it at all)...so don't feel too bad...

Oh man I'm so sick of arguing. I guess I'll just give up. You guys are right, and I'm wrong. You win. I AM a bad person!

I wouldn't say your a bad person.....you may not have the greatest approach to one thing, but that doesn't make you bad....

Originally Posted by Sean

I'm sorry if we've given you the impression we're just trying to bash you. That isn't it at all. I think we're all just really worried about the way you're describing the way you approach relationships. It really doesn't strike me as a healthy for either person in the relationship.....

....3. If you did your method on a girl, would you feel comfortable telling her what you did and what your intentions were at ANY point in the relationship? If not, your relationship is based on lies and deceit.

[Chris]

Originally Posted by cjcdrums

You would not believe how stressful and exhausting it is to argue against an entire messageboard, even if you are strongly motivated. It's utterly futile.

Oh I have an idea. Trust me on that one.

Since I resigned, can you guys please stop bashing me now? Truce?

We weren't trying to bash you, I'm sorry if that's how it came off.

And please no more "well, you should be more like this, and this," statements, because they've all been repeated like five times now. Thank you. I will now be a cookie cutter member and hide in the shadows because I'm just so tired of standing up for what I believe in.

Again I apologize about how difficult it was but like I've said before, This is a forum where people come for Biblical advice. If there is advice given that's unbiblical then it is our responsibility to call the advisor on it. I would want anyone else here to do the same to me. We're not asking you to hide in the shadows, we're not asking you to be "just like everyone else", we just wanted you to weigh your methodology up against scripture.

[exo]

Originally Posted by cjcdrums

You would not believe how stressful and exhausting it is to argue against an entire messageboard, even if you are strongly motivated. It's utterly futile. Since I resigned, can you guys please stop bashing me now? Truce? And please no more "well, you should be more like this, and this," statements, because they've all been repeated like five times now. Thank you. I will now be a cookie cutter member and hide in the shadows because I'm just so tired of standing up for what I believe in.

Show us how your methods are Biblical.

Another question to you is: do you care if your methods are Biblical? or only that they 'work'?

[BillSPrestonEsq]

Originally Posted by cjcdrums

Thanks guys, to be completely honest, I did not have any biblical precedent with this. Results were the goal, and results are what I got. If you want a girl to like you, biblical or not, this is the most effective way. To be honest I am not very close in my relationship with Christ. I mean, I still go through the motions, but it is frankly not priority #1. Believe it or not, the greatest obsession in my life is definately my commitment to advancing my abilities as a drummer. I practice hours every day, and it's been very rewarding and fulfilling to see myself progress as much as I have. However, I know what I should be spending time on, and I'm not, and to be brutally honest, it doesn't really bother me. I know this is a big red flag, but I am positive I am saved, yet I still can't really explain this. And I still don't see my system as manipulative. I just don't. And to answer one of your questions, I once told a girl I was dating (who really liked me) about it and it didn't bother her.

It is one big manipulation though!

[exo]

Originally Posted by cjcdrums

Thanks guys, to be completely honest, I did not have any biblical precedent with this.

Thank you for the honesty. It is appreciated.

Results were the goal, and results are what I got.

Is the end important or is it the means you use to get there? I could sleep with people, cheat on my wife, walk all over others, and manipulate the system to 'get to the top', but if I am standing up there with a divorce, kids who hate me, and a bunch of burned bridges, was it the right thing to do?

If you want a girl to like you, biblical or not, this is the most effective way.

You are talking about initially, but in a marriage, you are headed for disaster. Seriously, bro, take heed to this advice.

To be honest I am not very close in my relationship with Christ. I mean, I still go through the motions, but it is frankly not priority #1.

I will pray that God will move in your life so that He is #1. I think you know that that's what it needs to be so I won't preach.

Believe it or not, the greatest obsession in my life is definately my commitment to advancing my abilities as a drummer. I practice hours every day, and it's been very rewarding and fulfilling to see myself progress as much as I have.

There's nothing wrong with finding reward with a talent that God has given you. It does sound like it may have become an idol to you, though. I know I struggle with this in regard to video games (even though I am 28 years old)... Again, I won't preach, but say that you need to make God your point of worship.

However, I know what I should be spending time on, and I'm not, and to be brutally honest, it doesn't really bother me. I know this is a big red flag, but I am positive I am saved, yet I still can't really explain this. And I still don't see my system as manipulative. I just don't.

That is a red flag, but there is ebb and flow in any Christian walk. Be in His Word daily and fellowship with other believers to help you keep on the right track.

Also, the fact that you say it's a red flag, tells me that it does bother you. The fact that you even post all of this tells me that it does bother you. It may not be an all-consuming type of 'bother', but you are bothered. I encourage you, brother, to read God's Word and fellowship with other believers. Even 2 minutes a day in His Word can do wonders for your walk.