[Ordinary Sarah]

I was just curious as to what other people on CGR had to say about High School dating relationships.

It's my personal opinion that there are a lot of things wrong with dating in HS, but I do believe there are exceptions.

Any comments?

[ilovemy64bug]

Good for you! so many people think high school dating is just fine and never even think to ask why it wouldin't be.

I know HS dating is messed up in a lot of ways, It lets people hurt other people and call it love! And after a lot of short term relationships like that they become numb and don't know what true love really is!

A great book for you to read would be 'I kissed dating goodbye' by Josh harris, he deals with this issue from a Godly point of vew. I agree with almost everything in the book so it'll give you a good idea of what I think on this stuff.

keep up the good work!

[joshaber]

Yep, I'd agree with you two. There are exceptions to every rule, but generally speaking it doesn't seem like high school dating is so smart.

[Legolas]

The majority of teens in high school are unprepared and too immature for a real relationship.

Dating in high school is fine if it is gone about in the right way.

Just because someone is dating in high school does not mean they will enter into a series of short-term relationships. Just because the relationship began in high school does not mean that it will be a short-term relationship.

Entering into any relationship allows people to hurt each other, its just the chance we take.

There are many people outside of high school who do not understand what love is either. So it is "messed up" for them to be dating as well. So I don't think it is fair to say that dating in high school is wrong. Restrictions should be placed on the person's maturity, though, the vast majority of teenagers are not mature enough for a dating relationship.

[Visirale]

I see this whole argument against high school dating, and I understand it to a point. But do I plan on applying it? No, I don't think so. Why? My parents met in high school. They have a wonderful relationship. Many other of my relatives met in high school. I see no reason why what they did was wrong, or why it'd be wrong to duplicate that.

The only deterrent for me, is that I'm pretty sure on going to undergrad up in the Northeast, and grad school in Europe, and I know a lot of girls wouldn't want to move out there away from all that they know and love. So that'd be why I would wait until college or after.

[doulos777]

"Dating" is a phenomenon which did not exist before the invention of the automobile.

As younger people became more mobile (it was hard to date on a horse, though buggies were pretty cool), they also became more sexually active.

I dated when I was in high school for the simple purpose of making out with girls.

No one ever told me that dating was a way to identify a possible future mate and mother of my children.

So naturally, I treated it as "fun only" instead of "fun and useful".

Most of us will not marry our high school sweethearts, although some poor miserable slobs do.

If I were to do it all over again, I would be much more selective in who I dated, and I would be evaluating the person with whom I dated.

[BillSPrestonEsq]

Originally Posted by doulos777

"Dating" is a phenomenon which did not exist before the invention of the automobile.

As younger people became more mobile (it was hard to date on a horse, though buggies were pretty cool), they also became more sexually active.

I dated when I was in high school for the simple purpose of making out with girls.

No one ever told me that dating was a way to identify a possible future mate and mother of my children.

So naturally, I treated it as "fun only" instead of "fun and useful".

Most of us will not marry our high school sweethearts, although some poor miserable slobs do.

If I were to do it all over again, I would be much more selective in who I dated, and I would be evaluating the person with whom I dated.

ehhh, not quite... I have a few firsthand accounts on that. My old mentor was born in 1902 in rural washington, and he dated, by horse. My great grandmother and great grandfather sparked, which consisted of going to square dances and on long walks alone together. (Mountains of NC, didnt see an automobile till after he was married.) They called it sparking back then. They had their first kiss at the age of 9 I think.

I am marrying the girl who was my high school sweetheart actually. I am sexually inactive, and have been and have not kissed her yet. I get my BA in 3 months and get married in 123 days.

However, I say I am dating my high school sweetheart, that is true. But our dating in High school was a fiasco. We lasted about 3 months of dating and wrecked a good friendship that required extraordinary circumstances to even get us talking again.

I think high school dating is a bad idea because of how plastic you are in high school in that you are so unmolded and have so much maturing left. I seriously started dating my fiance, 4+ years ago. Too early in all honesty at the age of 19, and by that time I had done a lot of very adult things and dealt in a lot of circles that were quite powerful. I was working full time and in college and living on my own. Yet I was really still not truly ready. It took a lot of time for us to forge the relationship we now have, and it is tough. However, high school dating tends to produce a disposable relationship attitude as the commitment level necessarry to forge a strong bond of a relationship is not there yet. It takes so much.

I think divorces stem from the attitude that makes relationships disposable. i am stubborn as an old mule. And if you ask my fiancees family, they cannot believe I stuck with her through all I did. But even so, consider how much the next 4 years after high school will mold you. College and the real world bring bigger changes than High school.

[julianaTheory30]

i think hs dating is ok....as long as your main focus is on God. But i would only date christians. so if your gonna date...keep God #1....school #2 and your relationship wherever under that.

[Legolas]

Originally Posted by doulos777

I dated when I was in high school for the simple purpose of making out with girls.

No one ever told me that dating was a way to identify a possible future mate and mother of my children.


Most of us will not marry our high school sweethearts, although some poor miserable slobs do.

That's why I said it is necessary to approach dating from the correct route.

Why does someone have to be a poor miserable slob to marry their high school sweetheart? This is a generalization that cannot be proven and is also rather insulting.

[beanbag]

very few people marry their highschool sweethearts and in all honesty, not a lot of the marriages survive.

I didn't date in highschool, but I watched friends who did date totally screw up their lives. one of my friends got married the week before she graduated from highschool, and now less than a year later, her marriage is falling apart around her.

sure, you can date in highschool if you so choose, but you have to consider the wisdom of it. as much as I may have wanted or do want a boyfriend, I have to weigh the pros and cons. boys (and girls) take up a lot of time and if you're focusing on school, it really should be one or the other in highschool. even in college...I'm sure if you ask any attached people who are in school right now and serious about studying, they'll tell you about having to divide their time. I couldn't handle that, personally. if I focus on school, there can't be a guy. if I focus on a guy, there really can't be school.

you just have to consider the pros and cons of dating versus not dating in highschool and then make the decision for yourself. personally, I would say don't do it.

[trhoke]

My concern is that when many people talk about this issue, I hear a lot of subjective/pragmatic/experential advice. It's almost on the presuppositional level that we automatically accept dating. It's time to re-examine our preconceptions and see what the Bible says on this.

[Epaphras]

Originally Posted by trhoke

It's time to re-examine our preconceptions and see what the Bible says on this.

The Bible says nothing about dating because it's a 20th century invention.

_Epaphras

[bobthecockroach]

Originally Posted by Epaphras

The Bible says nothing about dating because it's a 20th century invention.

But the Bible gives plenty of principles that can be applied to dating.

I'd be interested to see how many 18-25 year olds think they were ready to date in highschool. I bet most 18-25 year olds think they weren't ready.

I'm 18 and I wouldn't be ready for a relationship. (I say, "I wouldn't," instead of, "I'm not," because I don't have anyone I'm interested in forming a relationship with right now, so it's not like I'm in a position to start a relationship but I'm just not ready. I'm neither in a position to start one or ready for one.)

[Epaphras]

Originally Posted by bobthecockroach

But the Bible gives plenty of principles that can be applied to dating.

True. But to say that dating is unBiblical is unfounded. Now certain behaviors or attitudes within dating can be unBiblical, but that doesn't make dating inherently wrong.

I should shut up, because I'm in high school and dating long distance. One could say I'm biased . I'm just going to quietly observe this thread...

_Epaphras

[bobthecockroach]

That depends on how you define dating. Unfortunetly, defining dating is about as difficult as catching a fly with a pair of chopsticks.