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Old 01-08-2005, 11:17 AM   #1
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For your birthday, your aunt...
For my birthday, my aunt gave me a maple syrup dispenser shaped like a rooster. This is the thank-you note I will write:
(this did not really happen...But I am writing a thank you note anyway.)

Dear Aunt Maple,
I am writing to tell you thank you for the gift. I will always put stuff in it. But...but. I cant go on with it! Its splitting apart my family. My wife wont talk to me...my kids disown me...why WHY did you give this to me?! WHY?! Will you quit giving me these stupid gifts? I have always hated your gifts! Now I have to go into witness protection just because of the color of the rooster! Stop giving them to me or I will give you the worst wedgie of your life and stuff cheese into your nostrils(Like matthew the sloper)! (But after we frolic in the flowers[Like matthew the sloper]) Where in the world do you get your stikin ideas for presents? Dr. Phil?! Ask Opra! She knows all about me..on second thought...I disown you! SO PLEASE...PLEASE LEAVE MY LIFE...AND TAKE YOUR DOWN RIGHT, LOW DOWN DIRTY MAPLE SYRUP DISPENSIER WITH YOU!!!
-Love, Mark

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Old 01-08-2005, 11:21 AM   #2
so much
 
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Old 01-08-2005, 11:22 AM   #3
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Originally Posted by Nate
My blogger told me to do it.
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Old 01-08-2005, 01:17 PM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ImOnFire
For my birthday, my aunt gave me a maple syrup dispenser shaped like a rooster. This is the thank-you note I will write:
(this did not really happen...But I am writing a thank you note anyway.)

Dear Aunt Maple,
I am writing to tell you thank you for the gift. I will always put stuff in it. But...but. I cant go on with it! Its splitting apart my family. My wife wont talk to me...my kids disown me...why WHY did you give this to me?! WHY?! Will you quit giving me these stupid gifts? I have always hated your gifts! Now I have to go into witness protection just because of the color of the rooster! Stop giving them to me or I will give you the worst wedgie of your life and stuff cheese into your nostrils(Like matthew the sloper)! (But after we frolic in the flowers[Like matthew the sloper]) Where in the world do you get your stikin ideas for presents? Dr. Phil?! Ask Opra! She knows all about me..on second thought...I disown you! SO PLEASE...PLEASE LEAVE MY LIFE...AND TAKE YOUR DOWN RIGHT, LOW DOWN DIRTY MAPLE SYRUP DISPENSIER WITH YOU!!!
-Love, Mark
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Old 01-08-2005, 02:24 PM   #5
indeed.
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ImOnFire
My blogger told me to do it.
You should ignore it from now on.
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Old 01-08-2005, 02:30 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mtlmouth
You should ignore it from now on.
It said it loved me!
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Old 01-08-2005, 02:33 PM   #7
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Old 01-08-2005, 02:59 PM   #8
indeed.
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ImOnFire
It said it loved me!
Tell it to shut up.
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Old 01-08-2005, 03:04 PM   #9
you DID find it.
 
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oprah. not opra. man what kind of an american are you?
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Old 01-08-2005, 03:35 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lizwrenne
oprah. not opra. man what kind of an american are you?
Whos Oprah? Im talking about Opra, the queen of the okra!!!
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Old 01-08-2005, 04:05 PM   #11
is anonymous.
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ImOnFire
For my birthday, my aunt gave me a maple syrup dispenser shaped like a rooster. This is the thank-you note I will write:
(this did not really happen...But I am writing a thank you note anyway.)

Dear Aunt Maple,
I am writing to tell you thank you for the gift. I will always put stuff in it. But...but. I cant go on with it! Its splitting apart my family. My wife wont talk to me...my kids disown me...why WHY did you give this to me?! WHY?! Will you quit giving me these stupid gifts? I have always hated your gifts! Now I have to go into witness protection just because of the color of the rooster! Stop giving them to me or I will give you the worst wedgie of your life and stuff cheese into your nostrils(Like matthew the sloper)! (But after we frolic in the flowers[Like matthew the sloper]) Where in the world do you get your stikin ideas for presents? Dr. Phil?! Ask Opra! She knows all about me..on second thought...I disown you! SO PLEASE...PLEASE LEAVE MY LIFE...AND TAKE YOUR DOWN RIGHT, LOW DOWN DIRTY MAPLE SYRUP DISPENSIER WITH YOU!!!
-Love, Mark
I have nothing to say about this.
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