[goldenchild]

Originally Posted by rocker_chick

but i asked one thing i did not want to get beat down!!!!!!

Yeah, guys, seriously. I know many of us(including me) think that one should wait until we are older to date, but that is not the question. rocker_chick simply wanted to know if we thought her bf had a crush on her best friend, not whether or not she should date. Now look what happened...

rocker-chick, from what you are saying I think yeah your bf probably had a crush on you're best friend. Remember, at that age, guys have crushes on like every decent-looking girl that walks by(trust me, I know ).

If they are making out, then it's probably time to break off the relationship. He's obviously not mature enough to be in a relationship w/you. You're young, you'll find someone better pretty easily.

[SilverNitrate]

Originally Posted by rocker_chick

thanx, but i found them behind my nack making out and me and him didnt even do that. I guess i saw what was coming. And i am sorry that you all think i am tooyoung but i can make my own choices.... Not to be rude but i asked one thing i did not want to get beat down!!!!!!

I don't think anyone's trying to "beat you down"... we're just saying things from our own personal experiences. You're 15.... and of course you are able to make your own decisions... but... at 15... I know I didn't always make very wise decisions. If I could go back in time, I would not have dated anyone to this day... and I'm 23 (24 next month). Relationships at such a young age serves no purpose. Sure... the relationship gives you the warm and fuzzies... but how is a 14-16 year old boy (and most 17-20 year olds) going to be able to support you the propper way?

I'm sorry if you don't like what we are saying... but at least try to learn from our mistakes.

[rocker_chick]

Thanx guys but no amount of advice is gonna make me feel better!!!!

[SilverNitrate]

Originally Posted by rocker_chick

Thanx guys but no amount of advice is gonna make me feel better!!!!

Well... usually advice doesn't make you feel better. We could just tell you what you wanted to hear, and that would make you feel better... but that's not really advice now is it?

[rockon4l1fe]

ive noticed that almost every single thread here turns into "your too young to date" rather than saying that, shouldn''t we be advising them to turn to the lord and ask for his guidance? maybe you dont think anything good can come out of young relationships but certainly if God wants someone to date at a young age he'll have probable reasoning for it. and if he doesnt want them to date and you seek his guidance in the relationship than he will advise you not to, and i certainly take Gods' advice more seriously than a stranger posting in a forum. so that being said may i make a request that from now on if we think someone is too young to be in a relationship rather than bash them for being in one ask for them to turn to God for guidance. it is much better taken, i know from experience.

[bobthecockroach]

Can't God guide through the wisdom of older people who have experience in such things?

[Nate]

Originally Posted by rockon4l1fe

ive noticed that almost every single thread here turns into "your too young to date" rather than saying that, shouldn''t we be advising them to turn to the lord and ask for his guidance? maybe you dont think anything good can come out of young relationships but certainly if God wants someone to date at a young age he'll have probable reasoning for it. and if he doesnt want them to date and you seek his guidance in the relationship than he will advise you not to, and i certainly take Gods' advice more seriously than a stranger posting in a forum. so that being said may i make a request that from now on if we think someone is too young to be in a relationship rather than bash them for being in one ask for them to turn to God for guidance. it is much better taken, i know from experience.

^ why this forum was a bad idea.

[/end cynicism]

It makes no sense to tell someone to "turn to God for guidance" when they have come to you for guidance. (yes, I realize that doesn't quite say what I want it to say... it's late, forgive me) God is just as capable of giving guidance through His still, small voice as He is through His Word or through the Christian brethren. Just because you don't like the advice given does not necessitate that it is not Godly or Biblical advice.

In His love,
Nate

[Chris]

Originally Posted by rockon4life

ive noticed that almost every single thread here turns into "your too young to date" rather than saying that, shouldn''t we be advising them to turn to the lord and ask for his guidance? maybe you dont think anything good can come out of young relationships but certainly if God wants someone to date at a young age he'll have probable reasoning for it. and if he doesnt want them to date and you seek his guidance in the relationship than he will advise you not to, and i certainly take Gods' advice more seriously than a stranger posting in a forum. so that being said may i make a request that from now on if we think someone is too young to be in a relationship rather than bash them for being in one ask for them to turn to God for guidance. it is much better taken, i know from experience.

Originally Posted by bobthecockroach

Can't God guide through the wisdom of older people who have experience in such things?

The reason for this forum is so for people to come and receive biblical guidance for their relationships. Biblical. That means anything that is said here in the spirit of advice is supposed to be from God's point of view. Therefore no need for the vague yet holy-man-ish "Go seek God's guidance" as our human condition usually goes against that anyways. You could be looking for God's guidance in your relationship and see in the clouds a message saying "You should not be with this person in a romantic relationship" and 9 times out of 10 you will do everything in your power to justify why that wasn't right. 1 Corinthians 7 says that it's better for a man not to marry so that he may devote his life fully to God. That's the passage most people start to pull from when they come across a young "dater". If it's better for one to stay single, it's better for one not to date when there's little/no chance of marriage to begin with.

Originally Posted by Nate

^ why this forum was a bad idea.

[/end cynicism]

well, it's either here or cluttering up the regular Advice forum.

I am very anti-debatism when it comes to this forum. And I am 100% anti-arguementism. So I am requesting that this arguement stop now. I will however, allow the thread to remain active in case there are further developments to this situation that rocker_chick wants help with. Any questions/concerns that you all have with each other or my decision can be brought to me or Gribbit in PM. If it's about my decision I would prefer that it be myself.

Sorry for the disciplinarian attitude but rocker_chick came for help.

I also apologize to rocker_chick if anything I said may have offended her.

[BillSPrestonEsq]

Originally Posted by rocker_chick

I guess i have a bf cause my home life is so horibble i need soemone who actually cares about me and what happens to me. I know it sounds stupid but its how i feel. I feel like i can really depend on him.

Honestly, thats a bad reason, not because of age, but maturity. I think I could safely say that this is not love that you describe. Before you get offended, look at it this way. Love gives. Greater love has no man than this, than that one lay down their life for their friends. If this is what love is, then it is safe to say than a desire and need for a relationship to feel loved is not loving to the guys you call your boyfriend.

I understand horrible home situations. I could trade scars with most here. I come from a physically, emotionally, and verbally abusive background. (escalation all the way up to broken bones and other beatings that left scars) It can be very hard. But healing will not come from the attatchment of a bf. That takes much more time. I'll be honest. I have healed a lot, 5-6 years out of that situation I still struggle with a lot of those issues. But a bf to feel love in a nasty home situation is like trying to patch a bullet hole with a band aid. I am not kidding around about that.

Those wounds require the great physician and to be honest make relationships more dangerous because. (realize I am speaking not down at you, but warning you of pits I stumbled into with these)

1) If physical abuse was present, at least in my case, physical signs of affection were amplified, making it nearly impossible to remain pure. It was as if I needed to just be held and touched to feel love and approval as pain was the constant sign of disaproval.
2) You are probably clingy. I know I was, and still am to a degree, but working on it. This makes you look desperate and easy. Not trying to bash, just what I have seen.
3) You will probably take rejection too hard. It may seem like life is not worth living if you get rejected. That is bad for a hardly finite number of reasons.

just some thoughts. By the way, I admire your honesty for the post I quoted. That took guts.