[Jenplaystaylors]

Originally Posted by 62ofDYC

I read every one that you put up. And I think that you're very talented Mrs. Playstaylors

Hey, thanks a lot Mr. 62??? or Mr... DYC... yeah. Anyway. Thanks a bunch for that. I think you are incredibly talented yourself!

[Jenplaystaylors]

Remember the time
when we were fine?
Probably not
It never happened.
You tricked me,
Twisted every word I said
to fit your little scheme.
Made me look bad,
Just to make me sad.
You ran me away with your broom.
Not knowing the plots I'd make in my room.
You enjoyed every minute of your destruction.
But it only led to your own reduction.
No one looks at you the same.
And you caused us all to go insane.
I hope you enjoy your time away.
I don't want to see you again, not another day.
If I do, who knows what things I would do.
Think of that as a threat;
I've got a million people at my back
Ready to tear you down
For all the times you caused us to frown.
You never helped us!
You'd push us back down;
Forcing us to drown.
Now that we're above ground-
You better not come around.

[Jenplaystaylors]

"She's so tired."
They all said as she drifted to sleep.
But do they really know her?
Do they know her day to day?
Can they really understand?

Everyday it's the same.
She wakes, wondering who she is
and does she really have a name?

Throughout her day she works and slaves.
Never having enough money made.
Working, working, working...
The world just spins and wizzes by.
Ignoring all the signs she needs to survive,
She slides by just so she feels alive.

This never-ending thing,
she wishes it was all just a dream.
But this reality is something no one would call a dream.
Confusion fills her head if she sits still too long.
So, Always on the Go, is the title of her song.

After her days work is done
coming home, just to see the sun,
is where her small strength comes from.

But it only last a little while.
Just for that short time she can smile.
Then the day creeps back in
And she is reminded of all her sin.

In shame she crys, hanging her head down low.
Hoping no one will see and no one will ever know.

Then she closes her eyes.
People shuffling around her
turn and see this small woman
With tear stained cheeks and hair in her face.

They look with pity and try to show grace.
But all that comes out is a statement
She wishes she could replace
with a word like beautiful or funny or smart.
But she is left with only a broken heart,
And a concrete floor
that holds her drowsy thoughts
That drip from her sleepy head.
And agian, "She's so tired."
Is all that is said.

Jenifer Janes
2-26-05

[Jenplaystaylors]

I can't stand
I am always falling
Looking foolish
With dirt on my hands
My clothes are worn
from many concrete scrapes
And I am stained
By many tears on my face
That balance beam
Is too high for me
I should just give up
To save myself some dignity

[Jenplaystaylors]

The sand beneith my feet
the sun coming over the horizon
and the ocean splashing up onto my legs
I am wearing jeans so now I am soaked
But you don't seem to mind
You just keep walking beside me
This beautiful place
is nothing compared to the color of your eyes
It's like a cloudless sky, so blue
Looking down again at the sand
You notice my hand
It's so close to yours and you take it
There is the faintest music coming from another place
So quiet I can't even tell what key it is in
But it is beautiful, I know this in my heart
And so do you b/c no music is bad to your ears.
You ask me to dance
and I quickly decline
I've told you time and time again that I am a terrible dancer
But you position me anyway
And tell me you'll lead
I am very scared at first
All I can think of is falling onto the sand
and looking stupid
But your smile brings be confidence
Confidence that I will never fall when I'm in your arms.
You lead on and we dance all morning
The sand is kicked around
and our footsteps make a pattern on the ground
It was a beautiful dance
But suddenly I forgot
I start looking around and become distracted
I forget about you, my love,
and run away quickly
You try to call me back b/c then I would see
You are standing in the middle of a cross
One you took for me
You crumble to the ground
And the pain rushes back again
You know I will come back
So you wait there patiently
Many days later I return
With shame filling my face
But you just say my name
and take my hand again


Jen Keli Janes
April 5, 2005

[Jenplaystaylors]

I wrote a new song... I wrote it on the way home from church Sunday. It was funny b/c I was driving and stuff. I hardly remembered anything from driving then... ok, here it is...

I Want To Live

We walk around like zombies
Our eyes glazed over like a sea of glass
And all we can feel is the pain
From one more cut by the blade
We hide in our rooms
Slowly killing ourselves
Our minds shut down a long time ago
Our hearts been broken to where they barely beat anymore

So we close our eyes and hide or face
Our bodies lie flat on the ground
We wait for the warmth of Love's embrace
And we cry....

Oh, I want to live again
Like a child laughing and dancing around
I want to live again
Take me from this place
Where I'm lost and so far from Grace
I just want to see Your face

(Then a 2nd verse I haven't come up with. I have a hard time with 2nd verses. But my brain has been working on it for the past couple of days. Just nothing official yet.)

We open our eyes
The sun warm on our face
We lift our hands to the sky
We wait for the warmth of Love's embrace
And we cry....

I want to live again
Like a child laughing and dancing around
I want to live again
Take me from this place
Where I'm lost and so far from Grace
I just want to see Your face.

I think it fits pretty well with our generation. So much depression and everyone is really just crying out to live and feel life in their bodies. So I just felt God tugging at me to write this. So there it is. I hope you like it. The lyrics are kind of gothy and scaryish at first. But then as the words go on you see where I am going with it.

[Jenplaystaylors]

If you knew the me I have created
You would run away and I'd be hated
I don't know how this all started
It's like my life became bombarded
With all the things I said I would never do
It's just like all of the sudden I became unglued
My head has transformed into a dark hole
And I am left empty, without a soul
I have not turned away from the things I love
I have simply strayed and become lost in the doubts that hang above
My head has created this mess I have made
And my heart has been cut by a blade
Instead of it bleeding and cleaning me out
It sucked everything in and destroyed what I used to be about
Walking around in this crowded dark hole
I keep tripping and burning on hot coals
I wait for hope and a flash light to come
So I can be guided back to the life I came from

6-1-05

[girlXwithXaXgun]

awww jen you wrote apoem for me=)
(kiddingbtw)
well i guess someplaces could fit.
jen.
i love it.

[Jenplaystaylors]

Apparently Nothing

Apparently nothing has happened since I last cried out to you.
I called your name, on my knees, crying in shame.
Confessing it all, I am the one to blame.
Requesting hope and a light from above;
To guide me back to where I came from.
But I took the hope, transformed it into fear;
Took the light, drowned it in a pile of everything unclear.
Put my life into the hands
Of everything else- I changed commands!
Blurred vision,
Filled with confusion,
Causing me to doubt
Erasing who I am
And all I care about.
I can’t figure this out!
So I just sit here and pout.
Wishing I could just shout!
Find a mirror and just scream out!
Point a finger-
Just bust myself out!
Maybe then I can get real.
Perhaps then my heart will again feel.
All the things I’ve closed up-
It’s too long been concealed.
Then this smile will be real.
My heart will begin to heal.
And this life that has
Apparently become nothing
Will turn into something.

Jenifer Keli Janes
6/28/2005

[Jenplaystaylors]

It has been years since I've written a poem. I've always kind of figured I only write when things are really really bad. So, it's ok that I haven't written. It just means I'm doing ok. Even tho the past 3-4 years have been a terrible mess! One day, I guess, the words will come to describe them in depth.