[DJ Kirby]

Yes, another one of my little relationship songs. This one takes alittle different direction then my last one though. And yes, there is gonna be a poll. I started writing this one around 12 and finished around 3 last night. Well let's see what you think of this one, and yes it might be a little too cliche for some people... (skeeter , just messing around with ya, nah, but your great, very good at giving me the little details that i need to know to make my next song better than the last one, although you might not like this one too much). This song is supposed to be set at a slow tempo and rather than a frustrated and angry tone, this one has a solemn tone, more gloomy.
Note: Backing vocals in ()
I Know I'm Not Him
verse 1
Is this the way it has to be?
Laura, is it you or is it me?
My mind is twisted and warped, I'm so confused,
I'm stuck in my own thoughts of you,
And I'm so confused,
And I don't know what's true,
Did you hit me or did I step on a rake?
Do you love me or is that just fake?

Chorus
I know I'm not him and I'm sorry for that,
And if I could play God I would take my looks back,
'Cause I'm not the hot guy you want for a boyfriend,
And what it comes up to in the end,
Is that I'm just me,
And I'm just a nobody that loves you...

Verse 2
All I wanted to tell you was that I care,
All I wanted to tell you was I am here,
For you, for you,
'Cause no one else will do,
But I won't do, 'cause I can't be the model boyfriend,
Did you shoot my heart or did I shoot myself again?
And with you, I feel I just can't win,
'Cause I just can't beat him... (Go ahead. Prove me wrong.)

Chorus

Verse 3
You don't know the what you put me through,
Sometimes I just wanna hold you,
Sometimes I wanna cry, I just wanna die,
Or run away from all this, get away from this, run and hide.
And would you go seek for me,
Find me out and hold me close?
Would you even care if I wasn't here?
Would everything be just fine if I wasn't there?

Chorus

Bridge
And I'm just a nobody that loves you with all my heart,
But this nobody can't compete with that and it hurts.

Chorus

Well, that's it. Tell me what you think and if there's any typeo's then tell me. I'll fix 'em. well later, and for all you people that are too lazy to post, don't forget the poll.

[DJ Kirby]

What???? Is it really that bad people??? Come on, at least tell me if it is... was it something i said? No one's posting in my threads here anymore...

[Small]

Originally Posted by DJ Kirby

Note: Backing vocals in ()
I Know I'm Not Him
verse 1
Is this the way it has to be?
Laura, is it you or is it me?
My mind is twisted and warped, I'm so confused,
I'm stuck in my own thoughts of you,
And I'm so confused,
And I don't know what's true,
Did you hit me or did I step on a rake?
Do you love me or is that just fake?

only one obvious complaint for the first verse, be-me is a fairly inexpensive rhyme.

Chorus
I know I'm not him and I'm sorry for that,
And if I could play God I would take my looks back,
'Cause I'm not the hot guy you want for a boyfriend,
And what it comes up to in the end,
Is that I'm just me,
And I'm just a nobody that loves you...

"looks" might be too general a term, to stay in the spirit of the song, I'd suggest something along the lines of "Take my face back."

Verse 2
All I wanted to tell you was that I care,
All I wanted to tell you was I am here,
For you, for you,
'Cause no one else will do,
But I won't do, 'cause I can't be the model boyfriend,
Did you shoot my heart or did I shoot myself again?
And with you, I feel I just can't win,
'Cause I just can't beat him... (Go ahead. Prove me wrong.)

"No one else will do" could use changing.

Verse 3
You don't know the what you put me through,
Sometimes I just wanna hold you,
Sometimes I wanna cry, I just wanna die,
Or run away from all this, get away from this, run and hide.
And would you go seek for me,
Find me out and hold me close?
Would you even care if I wasn't here?
Would everything be just fine if I wasn't there?

The last line seems a little awkward. It's mosty a repeat of the one before, it.

Bridge
And I'm just a nobody that loves you with all my heart,
But this nobody can't compete with that and it hurts.

I'd only suggest a little more clarification in regards to "that"

Overall, it's a good song, there really aren't any big problems at all. No nasty verses or anything of that sort, good stuff man.

[DJ Kirby]

Thanks. Much appreciated.