Just a little insight on love

Jesusfreek21919 · 12-21-2004, 12:28 AM

I just need a little insight from my fellow followers. For some time now I've been very anxious to find the special someone who I am going to grow up to marry. For a very long time now I have always beleived that God as a set person for us, that there is ONE person along the way that we are going to meet and fall in love with and by the grace of God we will just know who that person is. But recently I've grown more and more towards the belief that there is no ONE set person that we are going to marry, I'm begining to think that God places people in our lives, but who we decide to marry is not a part of his set plan for our lives, that it is up to choose who we will love for the rest of our lives. What do you think?

Nate · 12-21-2004, 12:54 AM

To ~~quote~~ paraphrase Luke:

"The Scriptures hold God's sovereignty and Man's responsibility in perfect harmony, and so should you."

I believe that statement pertains to this issue as much as to any other.

That is to say, I believe that God has, before the foundation of the world, selected the person (or persons, since some of us do not only stay with one person our entire lives, and this is certainly no surprise to God) that we are going to be with (if any person at all); however, I also believe that since we cannot know the mind of God and since the Scriptures do place a lot of emphasis on Man's responsibility, we must actively pursue wise decision-making in our relationships (nay, all of our lives), and we must choose a person to love, marry, etc that we believe will be a good match for us.

You may say "How can this be? How can God have selected our mate and still left the decision-making process up to us? Isn't 'the one' for me just supposed to fall down from heaven into my lap?" (well, hopefully you did not ask that last one)... and to that I can only reply with:

"The Scriptures hold God's sovereignty and Man's responsibility in perfect harmony, and so should you."

That all said, since we cannot possibly know or determine who God has selected for us (except by actually involving ourselves with that person and discovering over time how God has worked in our lives), it is our responsiblity to (like I said) make wise decisions on our own, trusting all the while that God is in control.

I'm just a regular guy, and I could be wrong... but that's how I see it.

In His love,
Nate

Chris · 12-21-2004, 12:55 AM

I don't know. I've always subscribed to the idea of God having someone set for us. I think this type of question largely has to do with the concepts of Calvinism and Arminianism. Which is a discussion that shall not (that's right I shall notted all of you

) be discussed in here. That's theology material.

To be quite honest I don't know quite what to say on the whole thing. There were so many times in high school when I "knew" I was with the person I was supposed to be with. It's quite possible that there is only one we're supposed to be with and all the others we're really only fooling ourselves.

It's a question with about 5000+ answers actually.

I doubt very much will be cleared up for you.

Jesusfreek21919 · 12-21-2004, 01:19 AM

Thanks a bunch. I've been thinking about and working on this issue for some time now. and really I just don't know what to think anymore. As Chris said there are thousonds of answers, all of which point in differant directions.

This was mainly brought up in my walk with my girlfriend. We met last Janurary, when a new church was planted, and liked eachother on and off over the school year and the summer, then in July she finaly got up enough nerve to tell my sister that she liked me. My sis then made the announcment to me that night, two days later our youth group left for a Houseboats retriet to Lake Shasta. She and I were put on the same boat, thought we were sure we were not going to be since two leaders knew we liked each other. The first night of house boats we talked and it was revealed to her that I liked her, that connecting began immediatly, that night, we both conntinued to try and sit next to eachother, or be by eachother, and get closer, both of us slightly noticing the other one do it too. The rest of the week was amazing, my relationship with God was strenghtened, and so was my relationship with her, we continued to hang out over the rest of the summer, and through to the school year, and with out one asking the other out it just turned into a relationship. Everything we've done together ever since has been amazing, and we have always been on EXACTLY the same page, the night i realised we were no longer hanging out as good friend that we were actually in a relationship, we talked about it for hours. Everytime i think about it i I'm sure this was put together by God.
I just don't know if either God will direct us or is it up to us. I guess my main question here is, is it possible that God will seperate us if that is what he has planned, or is it up to us?

Chris · 12-21-2004, 01:35 AM

this is where we get into the calvi- armini- thought pattern which is where the theology of it all starts.

Jesusfreek21919 · 12-21-2004, 01:49 AM

Would you mind explaining the theology of it please? i don't quite follow

Chris · 12-21-2004, 01:51 AM

I'll take it into PM just because I don't want a theo debate in here so much.

bobthecockroach · 12-21-2004, 09:04 AM

I think something to keep in mind is that when God works it won't always be in a "whoa, how did that happen?" way. Also, not every "whoa, how did that happen?" moment is God revealing His will to you. That said...

1) Just because things seemed to fall into place, it is not guaranteed that God was revealing His will to you.

2) If it is God's will for you to separate, then it probably will not be a "whoa, how did that happen?" moment where everything just falls into place. It's more likely that God will open your eyes to some reason why the relationship isn't for the best. It will then be up to you to do the right/wise thing.

If that didn't make any sense, feel free to ask for clarification.

Dr. Worm · 12-21-2004, 09:16 AM

The Calvinist view of predestination is markedly different from the all-too-common "special secret plan for our lives" view in evangelicalism today.

God does not have one college planned for you, that would be a perfect college for you, and He is just hoping that you somehow discover His secret perfect plan. Going to a different college, you do not ruin God's will for your life. We are free to choose according to scriptural principles.

Likewise, when choosing a spouse, we are free to choose anyone in accordance with scripture. We do not have to worry that there is one person God has chosen for us, and if we don't find that person and marry someone else, our lives are ruined. From a practical perspective, there are many people out there who we would probably get along with just fine in a marriage.

Luke · 12-21-2004, 09:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chris

I don't know. I've always subscribed to the idea of God having someone set for us. I think this type of question largely has to do with the concepts of Calvinism and Arminianism. Which is a discussion that shall not (that's right I shall notted all of you

) be discussed in here. That's theology material.

Most Calvinists would deny that idea, though.

***BillSPrestonEsq*** · 12-21-2004, 12:27 PM

Calvinist or Arminian it doesn't matter. Ultimately whether it is God's foreordaining hand, guiding every move, or whether you are freely making choices, it will look the same way to you.

Ultimately what it comes down to is not a mystical thing. Its not that she is the "one" or that you find her, but as genesis puts it that you find a helpmate suitable for you. Stop focusing on the "one" (as chances are you will create a being in your head to which no mortal could ever measure) and focus on being the "one" for someone else.

Chris · 12-21-2004, 10:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Luke

Most Calvinists would deny that idea, though.

Yeah I guess that was a little presumptuous. Sorry 'bout that.