God over boyfriend

Dancer3 · 12-16-2004, 08:13 PM

I have a boyfriend and we've been together for a while. The realtionship is great and everything, we can talk about God and can totally share on the spiritual level, but I feel like God is telling me it's not right. It may sound kinda weird but I think He is. I'd do anything for God, I love Him so much. I care about my boyfriend too, but I don't understand. I want to please God as much as I possibly can, but if I'm making him unhappy by being with this boy, I don't want anything to do with it!
I don't know though, it feels like all these tests are falling at me and I can't take it. My friends say God gives us tests he thinks we can handle. I feel like I have the test to stay true to God, obey my parents (they don't like him either) and everything! I'm so stressed out! I need help everybody! PLEEEEAAAAAAASSSSSSSEEEE! Should I leave him?

Sarah_13 · 12-16-2004, 09:24 PM

First question...have you prayed about it?

Right off that would be what I'd do. If you're both Christians (and it sounds like you are,) just examine the situation...is there anything in the relationship that would make you doubt whether it's right or not? Then just lay it all before God. Ask God to show you what to do and how he would have you please him.

JWillett · 12-16-2004, 10:11 PM

Are your parents christians? What are their reasons for not liking him? Maybe there is something to it that you cannot see because you are in love with him... and again, you should consider what it is about your relationship with the bf that is telling you its not right with God.

Chris · 12-16-2004, 11:06 PM

Honestly? Regardless of whether or not you can see why your parents have a problem with your boyfriend, if they don't want you to date him, you need to break it off.

But definitely pray about it.

Dr. Worm · 12-16-2004, 11:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dancer3

The realtionship is great and everything, we can talk about God and can totally share on the spiritual level, but I feel like God is telling me it's not right.

Be very careful with saying this. Is it God telling you its not right? God does not speak ambiguously. When God says something, it is clear and unmistakable. Furthermore, it is supremely authoritative and infallible. This is the only example repeated all throughout scripture. Either God said it or He didn't. I would venture to say that God has completed His revelation to us in scripture, and does not add to His already holy and perfect word. So when you say that God told you to break up with your boyfriend, be sure you understand what all that implies.

If God tells you to do something, you do it. If, on the other hand, you take whatever feeling you happen to be having and attribute it to the authoritative and infallible word of God, realize that it is no small thing you are doing.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dancer3

I care about my boyfriend too, but I don't understand. I want to please God as much as I possibly can, but if I'm making him unhappy by being with this boy, I don't want anything to do with it!

Fortunately, God has made this easy for us. He has given us plenty of principles to live by in scripture. If we live according to scripture, we don't have to worry about it. We are pleasing Him. If we are not living according to scripture, we are not pleasing Him. Is your boyfriend a Christian? Are you acting in sexual purity? Are you showing eachother God's love? Are you helping eachother to grow in Christ? If so, I doubt that God is telling you to break up with him.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dancer3

My friends say God gives us tests he thinks we can handle.

1 Corinthians 10:13
No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it (ESV)

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dancer3

obey my parents (they don't like him either) and everything!

This is the only part of the post that worries me. If your parents don't want you to be with him, you have a couple problems ahead of you. First off, we are commanded to honor and obey our parents. If you are still in high school, I agree with Chris that you need to break it off. Even if you are out of your parents' supervision, if they don't like your boyfriend, you need to seriously consider what you're doing with him. I can't tell you how much stress it can create on a family when someone marries into the family that no one likes or approves of. This is a situation you want to take great pains to avoid.

If your parents allow you to date him, however, I see absolutely no reason for you to break up (unless there are other issues at play here that you haven't shared).

**bread man** · 12-17-2004, 01:10 AM

Why don't your parents like your boyfriend? Do they just not like him, or are they actually telling you that you shouldn't date him? Maybe God is telling you that you shouldn't be dating him becauase it is against your parent's requests?

bobthecockroach · 12-17-2004, 09:58 AM

What would make you think that God was unhappy with him being your boyfriend?

Luke · 12-17-2004, 10:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dancer3

I have a boyfriend and we've been together for a while. The realtionship is great and everything, we can talk about God and can totally share on the spiritual level, but I feel like God is telling me it's not right.

God doesn't tell you that your relationship is not right, unless it's in the form of conviction of sin. There is no Biblical precedent for anything else.

Quote:

obey my parents (they don't like him either)

That, to me, is a good enough reason to probably break up, unless there are unusual circumstances.

Kato · 12-17-2004, 03:13 PM

Luke actually expressed exactly what I was going to say.

I have to say break it off due to your parents not agreeing with it. The only way it could be wrong is you're doing something wrong in the relationship thus making it sinful. I'll be praying for you, I suggest you pray about it as well.

**Becky** · 12-17-2004, 04:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dancer3

I have a boyfriend and we've been together for a while. The realtionship is great and everything, we can talk about God and can totally share on the spiritual level, but I feel like God is telling me it's not right. It may sound kinda weird but I think He is. I'd do anything for God, I love Him so much. I care about my boyfriend too, but I don't understand. I want to please God as much as I possibly can, but if I'm making him unhappy by being with this boy, I don't want anything to do with it!
I don't know though, it feels like all these tests are falling at me and I can't take it. My friends say God gives us tests he thinks we can handle. I feel like I have the test to stay true to God, obey my parents (they don't like him either) and everything! I'm so stressed out! I need help everybody! PLEEEEAAAAAAASSSSSSSEEEE! Should I leave him?

Here's my take on this.

If you are under 18, and your parents don't aprove.. then that is a VERY strong indicator that the Holy Spirit is guiding you to break up with him.

Even now, I would be extreamly cautious about being with a guy my parents did not aprove of. Love blinds people, and one often needs to rely on outside sources to stop you from making terrible mistakes. Your parents only want the best guy for you, wether you always follow them or not.. highly value their veiws.

Amanda5000 · 12-18-2004, 09:37 AM

SHELBA!!!!! I LOVE YA!!! Girl I had so much fun last night. And I think we did a really great job playing and singing today. My eye Is in so much pain!!!!!
I dont' think It will never go away. I think Some one should like you for who ayou are not what you look like. HAHA. It was really funny about Drew, but the highlight of the night was Bradley. But Girll I'll talk to you later and see you at school on Monday.

Merry Christmas!!

L/y/l/a/s/f

amanda

Remember God will never reject you!!!

And Dont' be scard the next time I start speaking in tounges!! Its God not me. GOd is so awesome and what happend friday night was just OFF. I had so much funn. Can't wait to do it again

Dancer3 · 12-18-2004, 11:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sarah_13

First question...have you prayed about it?

Right off that would be what I'd do. If you're both Christians (and it sounds like you are,) just examine the situation...is there anything in the relationship that would make you doubt whether it's right or not? Then just lay it all before God. Ask God to show you what to do and how he would have you please him.

Yes, Sarah_13, I did pray about it. Thank you for responding... so much. We're Christians. He goes to church, I go to church. We talk about God frequently. There are some things that have made me doubt what we have or what I think we have. If that makes any sense... :-)!!! He's always telling me about all these girls that like him, my friends proposed that maybe he was trying to tell me that I'm the lucky one. You know, that him dating me is a privlege or something. It ticks me off. He's a serious flirt. Which is good for us TWO. But when he's goes all out for other girls.... no. I mean I'm not jealous. It may sound like I am, but I'm just kinda confused. The other sign I get is that whenever we try to get together something always gets in the way. Like no transportation or one of us can't get around a commitment to something else. It just it all points to 'this isn't right'. I don't want to defy God. Thank you for writing. I'll keep praying.
Dancer3

Dancer3 · 12-18-2004, 11:47 AM

Hey, JWillett. It's Dancer3. Thank you for writing. My parents are Christians and I have no doubt that when Jesus comes back, my mom will go with Him. I have a really bad relationship with my dad. He sins constantly and never asks for forgivness. When I tell him 'don't cuss' or 'stop drinking' he just mocks me. It really hurts. My mom is a christian, but she believes that it should be personal. I just want to scream it! :-) And sometimes it's hard to talk to her about God or stuff like that. She listens but not really LISTENS you know? It's hard for me. But, thank you, and I'll look harder at this before I jump to conclusions. Because who knows? I could lose something great!
Thanx, Dancer3

Dancer3 · 12-18-2004, 11:49 AM

Thank you for responding, Chris. I know, I should break it off. I "pray without ceasing!" but, I just... UGH!!! It's so confusing! It's like a double whammy test. You know? Like obey your parents, stay true to God. And this guy hurts me a lot. So, I think I know what I'm gonna do.

Dancer3 · 12-18-2004, 11:56 AM

Hi, thank you for responding. OH NO! Nothing like that. I'm not even into highschool yet. I'll be a freshman in August. My boyfriend's a sophomore. But, I'm saving myself for marriage. nothing can change that. I definetely see what your saying. But see, I've gotten some signs like I was telling Sarah_13, and you can read them up there in my reply to her. But, my boyfriend thinks it's coincidence. There is no such thing. God is in control. I finally figured that out. It's no coincidence. I just feel like he's telling me not to be with him. But thank you for writing.