Am I in love?

Kato · 11-22-2004, 01:35 PM

Okay. Normally I would say this is infactuation, but this scripture I read just made me wonder.

4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

I'm patient with her, i'm kind with her, I don't envy her, yet, I don't think I'm better than her. I'm not rude to her, I'm also not seeking me own intentions I wouldn't want anything more than her to be happy. It's difficult for me to get mad at her, and I don't hold any grudges towards her, I'm truthful with her, and i stand up for her, and I also trust her.

Pretty much everything desribed in this passage shows I feel about her, but, people say "When you love them, you just know." I have doubts, which is why I still believe it's on infactuation. Also, I'm asking on advice for this subject, not "Is it too early to date" ect (just to get that out of the way).

**beanbag** · 11-22-2004, 01:45 PM

I don't think anyone can really tell you whether or not you're in love. I think it's a difficult place to be whether it's infatuation or love, and sometimes one will dress up as the other. also...the passage you wrote is talking about love, not being in love. I think that they are two separate things.

**Epaphras** · 11-22-2004, 02:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kato

Okay. Normally I would say this is infactuation, but this scripture I read just made me wonder.

4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

I'm patient with her, i'm kind with her, I don't envy her, yet, I don't think I'm better than her. I'm not rude to her, I'm also not seeking me own intentions I wouldn't want anything more than her to be happy. It's difficult for me to get mad at her, and I don't hold any grudges towards her, I'm truthful with her, and i stand up for her, and I also trust her.

Pretty much everything desribed in this passage shows I feel about her, but, people say "When you love them, you just know." I have doubts, which is why I still believe it's on infactuation. Also, I'm asking on advice for this subject, not "Is it too early to date" ect (just to get that out of the way).

How long have you known her, and hold old are you guys?

In His love,
Sean

Kato · 11-22-2004, 02:28 PM

We're both 15, and I've known her half my life. Also my age is another reason why I believe it's only infactuation.

**H.M. Murdock** · 11-22-2004, 02:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kato

We're both 15, and I've known her half my life. Also my age is another reason why I believe it's only infactuation.

Good show, old bean. I respect your approach to the situation.

From what I am seeing, you do love her, yes. But what kind of love is it? The love between friends can be overwhelming sometimes- I feel the way you are talking about towards many girls. Some of them are members here and some of them aren't. But that doesn't mean I love each and every one of them in a romantic way.
Before we continue... how does she feel about you?

Shredcheddar · 11-22-2004, 03:01 PM

I'm not sure that particular passage is written with romantic love in mind, but it certainly should apply to someone you're romantically in love with.

I can't tell you whether or not you're in love, though. You've certainly got a much more established friendship if you've known her for half of your life, and for that reason I think the chances for real love could be a little higher. All I can do is speculate, though.

Kato · 11-22-2004, 03:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by H.M. Murdock

Before we continue... how does she feel about you?

Not to put words in her mouth or anything, but I believe she feels the same way as I feel about her.

Chris · 11-23-2004, 12:40 AM

Well, it definitely sounds as though you love her as a sister in Christ. There's no doubt in my mind there. Whether or not you're in love with her is a little bit sketchy. To the best of my knowledge you're still in the earlier stages of dating correct? Well, that's when it's very likely to be infatuation you're feeling. When those feelings go away is when the real test of love begins. One thing I heard on the radio once was, "True love is when the person you're with does something that really bugs you but you still love them anyways." Not really sure how much truth there is in it but I found it amusing.

Cinster · 11-23-2004, 08:50 AM

kato i think you are really wise for your years. most people your age wouldn't be thinking about what you are thinking about. i would advise you to continue loving her in christ because that is definetly waht you are doing. love her as your sister. it is my personal opinion that people still in high school should not date for many reasons. are you dating this girl right now? i don't want to condemn you or make you angry. but i think you are very wise. i can't tell you whether or not you're in love with her romantically or not. . no one here can. only you can decide that but it is hard to believe at such a young age that you are in love romantically. it is very clear for everyone here to see that you love her as your sister in Christ and that is so great! love her as your sister. but any way. . . are you dating?

Cinster · 11-23-2004, 08:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kato

Okay. Normally I would say this is infactuation, but this scripture I read just made me wonder.

4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

I'm patient with her, i'm kind with her, I don't envy her, yet, I don't think I'm better than her. I'm not rude to her, I'm also not seeking me own intentions I wouldn't want anything more than her to be happy. It's difficult for me to get mad at her, and I don't hold any grudges towards her, I'm truthful with her, and i stand up for her, and I also trust her.

Pretty much everything desribed in this passage shows I feel about her, but, people say "When you love them, you just know." I have doubts, which is why I still believe it's on infactuation. Also, I'm asking on advice for this subject, not "Is it too early to date" ect (just to get that out of the way).

to answer this last question. . . many people including myself would say yes it is too soon to date. the reason being is because god intended dating for marriage. do you see yourself at 15 marrying this girl? that's a question you have to ask yourself

Cinster · 11-23-2004, 08:52 AM

sorry i just reread what you said in that last statement. . sorry for bring that up

my bad. . i won't talk any more on it. . sorry . . . i need to read more carefully. later days!

**thesteve** · 11-23-2004, 10:21 AM

are you in love? i'd say likely not. you'll find that over time there's alot of people like that in your life (that you can apply the 1 Cor. 13 passage to). That passage definitely talks about love, God's perfect love, which needs to be part of a dating/maritial relationship, but not about being in love.

someone once told me that you'll know you're in love when you see the person you think you're in love with at their worst...their absolutely lowest point...doing everything that you can't stand...and you can still move on with that person. i'd have to agre that either you're in love, or you're a creepy stalker guy.

PaidInFull · 11-23-2004, 10:27 AM

Do you still 'love her' when shes at her worst? When shes 50? When there's no money and the bill collectors wont stop calling? Most of all, is her family want YOU want for your kids? Hows her relationship with her father? Does her father aprove of you? There are ssoooo many questions that have to be answered before you see hearts. You can learn to 'love' any girl, just dont 'love' her because shes 'hot' or drives a nice car etc. etc.

Kato · 11-23-2004, 12:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by se7enband

Most of all, is her family want YOU want for your kids? Hows her relationship with her father? Does her father aprove of you?

Actually.. her family consists of her mom and her. She has an awesome relationship with her mom, and her mom loves me as well.

. It first she wasn't allowed to have a boyfriend well because.. her mom didn't trust guys, when her mom learned that I was the guy she was affectionate for.. she allowed her to.

But on other notes, thanks all for your opinions, I'm still not sure if I love her or not but that scripture came alot more clear. The reason I think the scripture strucked me much confusion, is because I tried applying it only to her, and not some of my closest friends as well.

***BillSPrestonEsq*** · 11-23-2004, 12:54 PM

Now I don't want to bring up the dating issue, but I want to put a little bit in perspective for you with what you know, to tie it in better.

Song of Solomon 3 times warns the reader not to awaken love before its time. Now, you are approaching this very levelheaded in your post. I want you to consider that the love being spoken of is very different than that spoken of in 1 Corinthians 13.

However as a guy who has dated a girl for 5 years, I have to tell you that if you pursue romance now, even from a framework of 1 Corinthians 13, and show her the utmost of love, the other issues will follow.

To put this all in a bit of a dark and pessimistic perspective, most of which you describe could be used by me to describe my dog whom I bottle fed. I am patient with him, I do not get mad at him easy, I am kind to him, I do not envy him...

See 1 Corinthians 13 is a description of how we are to be towards our brothers and sisters in Christ. So meeting all those things is not proof that you love her in a romantic way, but that is supposed to be your dealings with all humans.

There are a lot of components to love in a romantic sense as well, which are not to be discounted, but I would encourage you to look at where you are heading with her, with the objectivity you are looking at your feelings.