[E.T.G.]

Ok, I was talking to a girl on the phone, my brother walked by and ask, Is she hot. I didnt answer him, I just Ignored him. Well now the girl wants to know what I would have said. I know that the girl likes me, but as of yet, I dont want to start a relationship with her. What do I do?

[BillSPrestonEsq]

I don't know you, but I never got into the calling girls hot...

Id just tell her that I respect her as a friend or what not if that is the truth. And if she is prtty, i might tell her so in a kind way. But not in a derogatory or sexual way. Now if it was my fiancee. Id say Heck yah in her plain hearing. But that is just plain different.

You are in a bit of a tricky situation. You night compliment her about something, but this is kind of a lose-lose situation. Because if you say no, she will feel like you have sized her up and she doesn't meet par. If you say yes, hot carries a rather learing lusty connotation to it. It would be kinda rough.

So really your best course of action is contingent on what your relationship is and who you are, but be cautious.

Don't avoid the question though. She will take that to mean you think she is butt-ugly most likely. And that is just cruel.

[beanbag]

I think the best way to avoid any problems is to tell her, "well, I'm not one for calling girls hot. I think you're very pretty, though," or something like that. if you don't want to go with pretty in general, you could call attention to some feature, like her smile or eyes instead. just be careful. and it might help if you told your brother not to say stuff like that anymore when you're on the phone because it puts you in a bad position.

[bobthecockroach]

Oops, I misread. I thought you were asking how you should respond to your brother. My answer isn't really "avoid the question."

What I would say is...

"I find the term 'hot' to be disgusting and I wouldn't use it to describe anyone, much less a friend. I think you are *some compliment*."

However, you may not have to same feelings about the word, "hot". If you do, use something like that. If you don't, just answer the question honestly, I suppose.

You could say, "I have no opinion on the matter," but I think that would be taken as a "no," so you probably don't want to do that.

Perhaps if you didn't want to say, "yes," then you could say, "That's not what's important to me." It'd still probably be taken as a "no," but at least it wouldn't be offensive (hopefully). Actually, it probably would be taken with some offense.

Really, I think it's an inappropriate question that should never have been asked but that's beside the point.

If you do one of the things I said up above and she persists in asking for a direct answer, then I would come right out and say, "I don't think that's an appropriate question and I'm not gonna answer it."

[Mattlock]

I personnaly don't think the term "hot" describes someone beautiful. To me, if someone is hot, they dress slutty. There is usually some sort of lust involved. I basically agree with everyone else here.

[kupcguitarkid]

I disagree. Me and my friends use the word to describe girls we think are very attractive. I probably shouldn't use the word, but it doesn't necessarily mean 'slutty', just very attractive. I wouldn't say there's necessarily lust involved...unless it's lust to describe people you're just naturally attracted to. It may be sinful to describe women using the word 'hot' but not necassarily lustful.

[OneHope]

Ok, I was talking to a girl on the phone, my brother walked by and ask, Is she hot. I didnt answer him, I just Ignored him. Well now the girl wants to know what I would have said. I know that the girl likes me, but as of yet, I dont want to start a relationship with her. What do I do?

Been there, done that. I would agree that its lose-lose but if you tell her yes, its not as much lose as if you tell her no. If you tell her no, she'll get mad at you and you will have lost a friend. If you tell her yes, you might have a whole new situation on your hand but you can easily get through that one by saying that that you don't want a relationship. If that happens, tell her right away that a relationship is something you don't want and do not wait.

[bluesy hobo]

It depends on how you talk. I use hot to mean cute. I used to call any girl a ho just because that was how I used to talk. I didn't mean anything by it, to me it was like saying chick or girl. I don't say it anymore though.

[Only Alive]

"hot" seems to me to be a disrespectful term to use for a girl.

-Nick

[Chris]

This is quite the tricky situation. If you say no then you look like you think she's ugly. If you say yes, you look like you're lusting after her and want to date her. And when you don't want to date that can be an annoying situation.

I could suggest telling her that you respect her too much as a friend to classify her in such a degrading fashion.

[Carly.]

I think you've got two options here, and you might consider my advice, since I am, in fact, a girl.

The obvious non-option is to tell her "no" because no matter the degree, just about every single (North American) girl you'll ever meet has some sort of security issue. Saying "no" just to avoid accidentally leading her on could put a damper on the friendship AS WELL AS the possiblity of having a closer relationship in the future.

You don't HAVE to call her "hot" in order to satisfy her little question. You can say, "Well... I think you're attractive. I mean, c'mon! Have you looked in the mirror lately?" And you can pawn it off as a friendly/complimentary joke.

I think you are worse off avoiding any type of answer, because if you dodge the "yes", then she is going to only delve deeper into questions that will somehow get an answer out of you. Exampls: "I'm wearing a new skirt! Do you like it?" "I recently starting working out a lot more. My stomach is so flabby, I can't stand it..." "Did you ever answer your brother about whether or not I'm hot? (teehee!)" The list can go on. You're better off answering "yes" but not in the form of "yeah, you're hot". Just re-word it and you're perfectly safe.

[Harmonic]

Only Alive said : "hot" seems to me to be a disrespectful term to use for a girl.

It totally depends on how strong your relationship with the girl is. For example : A married man can easily call his wife "hott" , and be anything BUT disrespectful.

E.T.G. said : Ok, I was talking to a girl on the phone, my brother walked by and ask, Is she hot. I didnt answer him, I just Ignored him. Well now the girl wants to know what I would have said. I know that the girl likes me, but as of yet, I dont want to start a relationship with her. What do I do?

First, figure out if you actually DO think she is hott or not...
I don't know you, so i don't know for sure how you view girls. But im going to assume your a man of integrity. You could simply say ," yes , i think your good look'n , but i really need to get to know someone before i see them as hott or not." This shows her how you value other qualities besides looks.

Situations like this aren't fun , i hope things go well for ya

~Harmonic

[DreamChaser]

Heya,

Tell her the truth. It's really a simple question. Do you think she's hot? If not... well, then maybe you'll want to smooth that one over somehow - but if you do think she is hot/pretty/cute/beautiful/whatever, tell her if she asks. Only bad thing that could come of it is that she likes you more, which is a bit easier to deal with than someone hating you.

[danalyn]

Originally Posted by Harmonic

It totally depends on how strong your relationship with the girl is. For example : A married man can easily call his wife "hott" , and be anything BUT disrespectful.

you're right... but I still wouldn't be impressed if my husband called me hot. I'd rather be called beautiful, amazing... something a little less... degrading. That's just me. And totally not the point.


in answer to the original question: my first answer is "tell the truth." Tell her you think she's "hot" but aren't ready to start a relationship yet...
On the other hand, be tactful. If you she couldn't have heard you and you would've told your brother she was disgustingly ugly, don't tell her that!

[Andrew]

Originally Posted by E.T.G.

Ok, I was talking to a girl on the phone, my brother walked by and ask, Is she hot. I didnt answer him, I just Ignored him. Well now the girl wants to know what I would have said. I know that the girl likes me, but as of yet, I dont want to start a relationship with her. What do I do?

Heh heh. Whenever a girl asks me if I think she is *insert word for attractive*, I always ask 'Is there a right answer to this question?". Then I smooth-talk myself away from that discussion. Answering a question like that is stupid.