Being a Parent

ChrisHarbison · 10-29-2004, 12:31 AM

As many of you know, Wanda and I are getting married on March 11. We don't plan on having children anytime soon, but eventually, we will have children. So this question is aimed at all you dads out there.

When it comes to marriage, the only thing that actually terrifies me is having children. The thought of possibly being a bad father is almost enough to make me not want to have kids at all. I fear that if I have a girl, I'll be to easy on her and she'll be a spoiled, daddy's girl. I fear that if I have a boy, I'll be to hard on him and he'll hate me because he thinks I never loved him.

Were any of you dads out there terrified at the thought of being a father. I mean, I've babysat kids and I've played with kids, but I've never really been utterly responsible for the overall well being of my own kid. The thought's almost over-whelming. I can think about it and feel my stomach knot up.

**Role Modlin** · 10-29-2004, 06:24 PM

I was frightened when I found out that Robin was pregnant, but not for those reasons. I started to realize that I was spiritually responsible for that life and that God would hold me accountable for the kind of Dad I was. THAT was terrifying. I was also worried that I wouldn't be able to provide everything that my children needed...I still worry about that sometimes, I guess it comes with the job.

Jay42 · 10-30-2004, 08:26 AM

Oh sure. I think any reasonable person will consider the seriousness of children before having them, and would find it ominous upon realizing the gravity of the decision.

After they're born, and especially when they're toddlers. You don't think about the fear much at all. You trade it in for exhaustion.

I'd say any fear you have isn't a sign that you're going to be a bad parent ; it likely means you're going to be a good one.

KFBobInsanesMom · 10-30-2004, 09:29 AM

I'm a mom, not a dad, but I can tell you that moms have the same worries. Another tread on CGR is about your greatest fear and my answer was that when my children were little, it was that I would " mess them up for life", and now that they are older, it is that some day I may lose one of them.

I agree with Jay, your genuine concern , well in advance of being a dad, shows that you take very seriously the responsibility of being a dad , and it will help you to be a good dad.

And as to spoiling a little girl and being too easy on her.... you may at first, but after she drives you nuts by her being spoiled , you will mend your ways and learn when and how to be strict.

ChrisHarbison · 10-30-2004, 03:03 PM

Well I'm encouraged. I'm glad to know that I'm normal.

walkwjc · 11-02-2004, 09:31 PM

Quote:

Well I'm encouraged. I'm glad to know that I'm normal.

Normal and probably going to make a great dad, brother. As a dad of 2, a girl and a boy, I can say that your fears are well founded, but like was said above, your fear marks you as a good potential parent.

Man, little girls are hard not to spoil, but they are sooo much easier than little boys. Then it swithches as they get older , then switches agian.

So my advice to you is, to remain concerned about your parental skills, but trust in God to guide you in raising your kids. Cause they are way more confuseing than women, theology and apologetics

. You will be fine.

And besides we will be here to give you advice and tell you when you've screwed up.

May God Bless you and your family
-d