pregnancy?

Amanda · 10-14-2004, 11:07 AM

Women who have ever been pregnant: What is the experience like? What does it do to you emotionally, physically, spiritually, etc.? What's giving birth like?

Men whose wives have been pregnant: What's it like on your end? How does it affect you?

(If you're wondering, I'm doing research for a book, lol.)

**slap_j** · 10-14-2004, 11:12 AM

Haha. Why do I always have something inappropriate to say? *sigh* I'll just keep it to myself.

Here's what I know from watching Full House when Rebecca was pregnant. She got to be a bitch and get away with it!

bryanfal · 10-14-2004, 01:03 PM

Well, I wrote a devotional a while ago on the subject. Here is the link

http://www.christianguitar.org/forum...threadid=55305

But if you want my reaction to the process of childbirth. It is DIIIIIIIIIISSSSSSSGGGGGGGUUUUUUUUUUUUSSSSSSSTTTTTTTIIIIIINNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!

I spent the whole time through both of my children's birth with one eye closed, so I wouldn't have to see anything.

But emotionally speaking, the first time you hear your child cry, there is nothing that can truly explain the reaction. It brings up something raw, something almost primal that overwhelms you with this need to protect this child at all costs. The sudden realization that you no longer exist for yourself is enough to knock anybody flat on their back and get a good look at God.

Coincidentally, this is one of my favorite topics to talk about, so if the few cliches that I have spewed are not enough. I would love to blab more about it.

Gracie Love · 10-14-2004, 03:28 PM

I have been pregnant 4 times and it is a wonderful experience. I can't really say what Child birth is like, because both of my kids have been born through C-section. I can tell you however that pregnancy emotions do run the entire field, and hormones are not entirely to blame. From the time you suspect that you are pregnant, you start to fell emotions that contradict. For example you will feel happy and scared, sad but joyful,worried yet yousmile all the time. You do cry for silly reasons like stupid commercials and movies, but it is all worth it. You get fusterated at times because you have no control over what is happening to you yet you understand that it is a miracle that is happening within you. As far as your body people are not joking when they tell a pregnant woman she will wake up and her belly has grown overnight. It is a hard thing to describe but I have tried. I hope it helps.

Pipercostal · 10-14-2004, 04:18 PM

Quote:

Men whose wives have been pregnant: What's it like on your end? How does it affect you?

What's it like? Let's see. Scary because of the huge responsibility about to be thrust upon you. Awe-inspiring because of the miracle of a new life and getting to watch it grow and be born. Frustrating because her mood swings, increased sensitivity, decreased desire for intimate relations at certain points in the pregnancy. Exhausting waiting for the birth to finally come. Exhausting supporting your wife, both mentally as well as physically if you're supporting her in various labouring positions. Perplexing at times because of the changes in your wifes behavior (cravings) and in her appearance.

It changes your life forever. Only after you have a child do you realize how much of a permanent change it is to your life. You lose so much spontanaety (sp?) and from that point on you have one extra person to consider in all your decisions. Your life is no longer your own. Placing both your wifes and childs needs over your own can mean that you can have very little left over for yourself. But you learn, you adjust, you balance things and I can honestly say that I would never go back to not having kids. The joy that I find in them is immense.

My wife and I had a home birth with a midwife, and I got to catch the baby both times that we have done it. So for me, the birth experience was great. It was a time to really connect, relax and enjoy the miracle of God's creation.

Jay42 · 10-14-2004, 04:23 PM

Hi Supermanders!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Amanda

Men whose wives have been pregnant: What's it like on your end? How does it affect you?

Having been through it twice, let me say right off the bat that it is a wonderful experience, and any inconvenience men go through PALES in comparison to what the mommy has to go through.

That having been said though, there were moments before and after the delivery that I felt a little unacknowledged because I was doing quite a bit of work (making a nursery, doing all the housecleaning, calling everyone, making cards & letters, doing all the diapers, running all the errands, giving mommy backrubs, etc). But those moments of self pity were definitely fleeting, and it didn't take much to remember just how much my wife went through (the first delivery especially: about 16 hours of labor; the last three were "hard labor" and if it had taken ten more minutes the delivery would have been a C-section instead).

Most of the men's changes happen the first months after baby arrives. It is then that they need to pick up more of the chores, and they also realize the sacrifice of no more social life for a while. (Well, you CAN socialize, but you have to be a lot more strategic and creative about when/how with baby).

The biggest difficulty was that our first baby had colic really badly; I spent many-a-night giving her medicine then holding her in my arms and pacing up and down the hall until she fell asleep. Then I prayed I wouldn't fall asleep the next day at work!

**Role Modlin** · 10-14-2004, 08:29 PM

I'll try to get Robin to answer this one too. To me the best part of the pregnancy was being able to feel the baby move. We'd be laying in bed at night and I could feel him kick....that was great.

My experience with Geoffry was a spiritual awakening. I realized that I was responsible for the well-being of another human being. I know that I was already repsonsible for Robin, but with a child it was totally different feeling.

walkwjc · 10-16-2004, 01:12 AM

Quote:

Amanda said:
Men whose wives have been pregnant: What's it like on your end? How does it affect you?

As a father of two wonderful kids, I would have to say that aside from finding Christ, it would be the two most life changing events.

The pregnancy was tough on Amy and me but the reward of feeling the baby kick and move was well worth it.

The most spectacular thing though, for me, was the exact minute my daughter was born...here is this being...so tiny...first time I had laid eyes on her...but in my heart was a love so strong and so protective...even though I had yet to touch or hold her...I was prepared to die for her...and I realized...that love was a splinter of the love Christ has for us...in a way that doesn't even compare...yet it did.

After my girl was born, I had to go to work and Amy got to stay home with her. I could not wait to get home each day and scoop her up into my arms, and try everything in my power to get her to laugh, giggle, smile and babble at me. Got a tear, remembering that.

When my little boy was born, he was supposed to be a girl. Hmpf. Needless to say the suprise we felt when he was born is indescribable. It seemed he grew at phenomonal rates and the time flew by. He is almost 3 now and it seems he was just born yesterday.

I think the biggest change for both of us was the protective nature that we developed instantaneously.

Thanks Amanda for the opportunity to look back and share some really great moments in my life.

God bless
-donnie

KFBobInsanesMom · 10-30-2004, 12:21 PM

I was pregnant 7 times over a 6 yr period . I have 3 wonderful sons ( all delivered by C-section so I am pretty much like Gracie on that although I did labor for about 9 hours with Nate before the decision was made to go with a C-section ), have had 3 miscarriages, and had one tubal ( ectopic ) pregnancy.

As others have already said, the desire to protect your child is primal and you would gladly die to do so, even before they are born. The first pregnancy for me was a time of trying to figure out what was going on and a lot of being sick.

The first time Nate kicked me my reaction was something like " Oh my gosh, I really am pregnant !!" , it was just hard to believe before that. I was sick the whole pregnancy, but it was still a wonderful experience.

The best way for me to really explain the emotional ( and spiritual ) aspects of being pregnant, is by relating the circumstances of one of my miscarriages. I was about 12 or 13 weeks along when I started " spotting" and having a lot of discomfort. I went to a doctor ( first visit of this pregnancy ) and he, after a quick exam, came out with " lets just do a D&C and get it over with". I swear to you that if I had had the strength that man would have hit the wall and then the floor and probably not moved for a long time. What I felt for that baby was as strong as what I felt when I first held Nate: awe and love and protectiveness and fear , etc. I , not very kindly, told this doctor that he wasn't God and that my baby was still inside me and God could work a miracle if He chose to and I would not allow anyone to take this baby unless there was no question that I was going to miscarry ( which the doctor had admitted was not 100% sure at the time ) and I went home.

Sadly , I ended up at the ER sometime later that night. This same doctor , mad that he was called out at night and " inconvenienced " because I didn't allow him to do the D&C earlier in the day, when he finished the procedure, looked at me and asked me " do you want to see this thing?" ( those were his actual words ) !!!!!! I guess rage is closest to what I felt. What to this man was a " thing" was my child whom I loved fiercly and I made that very clear to this doctor.

Losing my baby had a great spiritual impact on me. I knew the pain and the sorrow that tore me apart (even though I had never held or even really " knew" my child) , and it hit me like a ton of bricks.... God had given His son to die for me, WILLINGLY, while I would have fought with every ounce of my being to keep my baby from dying. To this day , I truly cannot comprehend a love so strong that God would give His son to die so that I could live.

Praisey · 10-31-2004, 02:04 AM

awwww that's so sad

that doctor should have his license revoked

danalyn · 10-31-2004, 02:19 AM

Wow. Thank you for sharing that with us, Mrs. Straight. It must be hard to think about...
I guess as a newlywed I've been thinking alot about pregnancy and have been pretty curious, so this is a really helpful thread.

I think a miscarriage is probably much harder on the wife. any husbands here to give their thoughts/feelings on their wife's miscarriage?

Gracie Love · 10-31-2004, 09:15 AM

I just typed in a long response about how it affected john to go through 2 miscarriages in 3 months last year. but I got logged out in the middle and lost it.

In a nut shell, John was really badly affected by it. The first on in October was the worst because he was really excited at first about me being pregnant and all. Couldn't really afford it and it was an accident seeing that I was on the pill at the time. Then he got attached and was so happy and about that time is when I had a miscarriage. He prayed for me and the baby. Then it was very apparent that I lost the baby. He blamed himself, for one he should have had enough faith that his prayers would have saved the baby, and two because he hadn't really been excited at first. He was really supportive to me but you could see a definant sadness in his eyes. A year later you can still see it.

The one in January wasn't as bad. We was angry about it. But the sadness wasn't there as much. He fought getting attached to this pregnancy. Especially since right after finding out I was pregnant I started with the cramping. I fought for two weeks. He prayed for me and the church prayed for me. I should have been on bedrest, but the church leaders told me that I should be in church. I went for over 14 hours a week. I finally lost the baby and the bishop told me that I was being punished because I was using condoms. I was slapping God in the face by trying to interfere with Gods plan and this was my punishment. A female said this to me. I didn't tell John that because he was already having problems with his faith. Our friends daughter and the 2 miscarriages and then the church being a cult and all that mess is what has caused John to have such a loss of faith. That is how miscarriages have affected him.

walkwjc · 11-02-2004, 08:30 PM

Quote:

I should have been on bedrest, but the church leaders told me that I should be in church. I went for over 14 hours a week. I finally lost the baby and the bishop told me that I was being punished because I was using condoms. I was slapping God in the face by trying to interfere with Gods plan and this was my punishment. A female said this to me. I didn't tell John that because he was already having problems with his faith. Our friends daughter and the 2 miscarriages and then the church being a cult and all that mess is what has caused John to have such a loss of faith.

That is just wrong, what your church did to you. How can a leader in the church be so cruel and callus. I hope you have found another church and your husband has regained his faith, and I will be praying for you.
God be with you always
-d

Gracie Love · 11-02-2004, 09:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by walkwjc

That is just wrong, what your church did to you. How can a leader in the church be so cruel and callus. I hope you have found another church and your husband has regained his faith, and I will be praying for you.
God be with you always
-d

Easter Sundat was the last time we went but that is a whole other can of worms. John still hasn't regained his faith.

KFBobInsanesMom · 11-12-2004, 11:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by danalyn

Wow. Thank you for sharing that with us, Mrs. Straight. It must be hard to think about...
I guess as a newlywed I've been thinking alot about pregnancy and have been pretty curious, so this is a really helpful thread.

I think a miscarriage is probably much harder on the wife. any husbands here to give their thoughts/feelings on their wife's miscarriage?

In some ways I think its very hard on the husband. Nothing he says can take away his wife's pain and with the hormones and the emotional rollercoaster she is on, he's in a rough spot. If he says something, she may snap, and if he doesn't , she may feel he doesn't care. Its definitely a time of testing of ones faith.