[danalyn]

so I was grocery shopping today ((by myself which is pretty shocking. I'm never allowed to go grocery shopping alone. I spend too much money. )) and thinking: I buy the food, cook the food, do the dishes. do the laundry. organize the house. clean kitty litter, and feed cats... Chris helps. he helped with some of these things even before the wedding, but most things come down to me. Either doing it or asking help.

what things do the men feel pressured or responsible for around the house? I know Chris is pretty much "in charge" of hanging pictures, towel bars, etc. ((after asking me where I want it, of course))
Ladies, am I alone in these thoughts?
I guess it's part of the "wife's role" to run the house... and I'm not complaining ((really!)) I was just musing today and thought I'd share...

[Robbi]

Me and my fiance both work so we share all responsibilities equally.
Yes I do my ironing! Thanks to military training....

But when the spouse has children and decides to take on a role of looking after the kids (BTW I have absolutely no objections to), I would say that her responsibilities around the home would increase, especially as the children get older. (if they are disciplined well, they will help too!)

But its a two way communication of what needs to be done and who will do it. If its apparent one is doing more than the other, then they should speak up, and as every good christian, it will be resolved peacefully!!

[Ted Logan]

Originally Posted by danalyn

so I was grocery shopping today ((by myself which is pretty shocking. I'm never allowed to go grocery shopping alone. I spend too much money. )) and thinking: I buy the food, cook the food, do the dishes. do the laundry. organize the house. clean kitty litter, and feed cats... Chris helps. he helped with some of these things even before the wedding, but most things come down to me. Either doing it or asking help.

what things do the men feel pressured or responsible for around the house? I know Chris is pretty much "in charge" of hanging pictures, towel bars, etc. ((after asking me where I want it, of course))
Ladies, am I alone in these thoughts?
I guess it's part of the "wife's role" to run the house... and I'm not complaining ((really!)) I was just musing today and thought I'd share...

This will be a patently male observation: I pretty much wait for Heather to ask for help. I'm not inclined to do dishes, or cook, or clean, and though I'm happy to do it when asked, I frankly feel inadequate at those tasks. Especially when it comes to cleaning things, I am so stereotypically male that anything I clean will just end up being cleaned again when Heather sees it, and how poorly it was cleaned. I'm a guy, and I'm not observant. I don't see the little spots, and I don't really understand why it's important that they not be there. So, I gladly let Heather take care of that. She's glad to do it, too, which is awesome. Decorating is also Heather's responsibility, because I'm a guy and have no concept whatsoever of where something should go.

I am responsible for killing bugs, opening jars, et cetera. If it requires brute force and little finesse, it's mine.

[Epaphras]

Originally Posted by Aaron Adams

I am responsible for killing bugs, opening jars, et cetera. If it requires brute force and little finesse, it's mine.

[nix]

I think it would be sensible to talk between one another of what responsibilities fall to who. Instead of just assuming that is and things become bitter :P

[Ted Logan]

Originally Posted by nix

I think it would be sensible to talk between one another of what responsibilities fall to who. Instead of just assuming that is and things become bitter :P

Oh, we've discussed it thoroughly. There's no bitterness. Heather has a need to do the laundry, and I hate doing it, so she does it. If she wanted me to, I would do it. It's a mutual decision that I wait for her to ask me, not something I just assumed.

[Robbi]

Originally Posted by Aaron Adams

Oh, we've discussed it thoroughly. There's no bitterness. Heather has a need to do the laundry, and I hate doing it, so she does it. If she wanted me to, I would do it. It's a mutual decision that I wait for her to ask me, not something I just assumed.

When your wife has kids, im guessing your gonna start doing laundry more often - especially the soiled nappies!! I dont think there will be a mutual decision there. As males, we have all that and more, to look forward to.

[danalyn]

Aaron, thanks. that was what I was looking for, was the male perspective.


Robbi, forgive me. I'm getting from your second post that you're a guy. I had assumed you were a girl. Sorry!

[Robbi]

Thats OK, thats me on the right in the pic

[Singin4Him82]

My husband is great when it comes to chores and stuff. He does the vacuuming and he usually does the dishes for me when I cook. He's very helpful around the house.

[redbaron]

Originally Posted by Aaron Adams

This will be a patently male observation: I pretty much wait for Heather to ask for help. I'm not inclined to do dishes, or cook, or clean, and though I'm happy to do it when asked, I frankly feel inadequate at those tasks. Especially when it comes to cleaning things, I am so stereotypically male that anything I clean will just end up being cleaned again when Heather sees it, and how poorly it was cleaned. I'm a guy, and I'm not observant. I don't see the little spots, and I don't really understand why it's important that they not be there. So, I gladly let Heather take care of that. She's glad to do it, too, which is awesome. Decorating is also Heather's responsibility, because I'm a guy and have no concept whatsoever of where something should go.

I am responsible for killing bugs, opening jars, et cetera. If it requires brute force and little finesse, it's mine.

heh, don't generalize us all into your box there bro.

FWIW my best friend (who i'm the best man for in about three months) is getting married to a great girl. However, if there was ever a contest at who is better at being "domestic" between her and myself, there would be no contest.

I'm obsessive compulsive, and anal. :P

No one is up to my standards though, so i'm a bit crazy. Oh, and i'm also something of an artist (style anyone?) and i do most of the cooking for my group of friends (i cook for my parents probably once a month).

Of course, it might just be that i'm not the stereotypical guy. Or something.

[danalyn]

Originally Posted by redbaron

Of course, it might just be that i'm not the stereotypical guy. Or something.

hey. my Chris has a habit of shattering stereotypes... but I saw him in Aaron's description.

[redbaron]

Originally Posted by danalyn

hey. my Chris has a habit of shattering stereotypes... but I saw him in Aaron's description.

well, i guess that i have to remember that everyone is on a case by case basis. Stereotypes are based on a shred of fact.

The thing that applies to me most is opening jars, i think. I hate insects even. :P

I'm also domestic (cleaning/cooking) and obsessive compulsive, so i'm pretty darn good at it.

not that it matters, i have no possibility of getting married any time soon, so no woman is going to have such a wonderful husband. (HAHAHAHA)

ok, enough of that sillyness.

[BillSPrestonEsq]

i am the one who gets the little spots in my relationship. i am the ex-janitor who polishes the chrome when i clean the bathroom and is particular about the cleanliness of the pans. Cooking for myself in a guys dorm where heaven only knows what was last cooked in that pot, and doing chemistry make me fairly picky about cleanliness. messiness is a different matter. I cook, I clean, but I am no organizer.

I am responsible for brute force and often extreme finesse. I kinda handle the ends of the spectrum on both sides.

when it comes to spiders, as long as there is windex, either of us can kill them. (it dissolves most spiders I have encountered's exoskeleton at range) also making it easier to wipe up than squashing the sucker.

in short, I am the picky one about cleanliness, i rewash the pots, but I also do the brute force actions.

it varies.

[Rach]

Originally Posted by BillSPrestonEsq

when it comes to spiders, as long as there is windex, either of us can kill them. (it dissolves most spiders I have encountered's exoskeleton at range) also making it easier to wipe up than squashing the sucker.

Haha...that sounds like something from My Big Fat Greek Wedding.