[snizzle]

Hey, haven't posted any songs for a while. Lately i've been in a really worship writing kinda mood. This is a few of my worship songs. The first one is just a chorus. I'm not sure if I even want a verse. The second one is missing the second stanza (these are from memory, haha, i'll post it tomorrow) and I want more for the chorus than Hallelujah but i'm not really sure what to say. The song is about God being so awesome that words can't really explain Him. I dunno what to do for a chorus, blah. The third one is pretty much straight from psalms. It's got music and it's in 6/8 which is pretty cool i guess. I want honest answers. Lemme know what you think and what i need to change. Thanks!



"I give you my life"

I give myself to you
My life is not my own
take me, make me, shake me, break me
mold me to Your Son

I know i'm not much
but all I have is Yours
I offer you a living sacrifice
I give you my life
___________________________________________________
"How can I..."

How can I say
what words cannot describe
what minds cannot fathom
despite our hardest tries

How can i measure
a love that cannot be swayed
love that knows no boundries
despite the mistakes i've made

How can i explain
what i can't comprehend
how you laid down your life
that i might live again

How can i wait
to see you face to face
and lay my crown at your feet
and give you all the praise

Hallelujah
Hallelujah
___________________________________________________

"Psalm 62"

My soul finds rest in God alone
My salvation comes from Him
He alone is my rock and my salvation
He is my fortress and I will never be shaken

My Salvation depends on the Lord
He is my Mighty Rock, He is My Refuge
My Salvation depends on the Lord
He is all I need, He is all I need

Trust in the Lord at all times, O People
Pour out your hearts to Him
for He is our refuge

[Flyguy]

Originally Posted by snizzle

"I give you my life"

I give myself to you
My life is not my own
take me, make me, shake me, break me
mold me to Your Son

I know i'm not much
but all I have is Yours
I offer you a living sacrifice
I give you my life

Besides being a bit short, and the "break me mold me to Your Son" line is a little cliche, I like it.

"untitled"

How can I say
what words cannot describe
what minds cannot fathom
despite our hardest tries

How can i explain
what i can't comprehend
how you laid down your life
that i might live again

Hallelujah
Hallelujah

Lovin it. For real man..I really like this one...no suggestions on the chorus that I can think of right now, but the verses rock.

"Psalm 62"

My soul finds rest in God alone
My salvation comes from Him
He alone is my rock and my salvation
He is my fortress and I will never be shaken

My Salvation depends on the Lord
He is my Mighty Rock, He is My Refuge
My Salvation depends on the Lord
He is all I need, He is all I need

Trust in the Lord at all times, O People
Pour out your hearts to Him
for He is our refuge

I like this one too. Like you said, it's pretty much based off of Psalm 62.

I like your stuff man, especially the second one! It's hard to write good worship songs that are original, but the second one I thought was definately good. And very original.

[snizzle]

thanks dude. Yea, the first one i wrote a few months ago but my writing has improved a lot on my newer stuff (2 and 3). I think it's because the first one was kinda forced where these two just flowed. I sometimes try to make myself write just to keep myself in that mode. It's cliche and overdone but i guess it kinda works. And i really like the music to the first one. I'll try to post it.

There's a second verse for the second one but i can't remember it. haha. It goes something like this:

How can i measure
love that knows no end
love that is unconditional
despite all of my sin

That's kinda the gist of what it's saying but the writing is better. I just can't remember it!

Thanks Flyguy! Any other comments or suggestions?
-shane

[snizzle]

Ok, i finally added the second verse to the second song. Let me know what ya think. Please read and critique this, or at least respond.
-shane

[Flyguy]

Hey man, I really like it. There are a few more syllables in the second verse than the first, so the meter doesn't match up exactly, but I really like what you are saying with it, and it's not cliche or anything. So really I'd leave it...I bet you can make it not awkward with the music. Not that it would be awkward now, but y'know...

Good stuff!

[snizzle]

I was playing around with 'How can I' (the second song) last night and i got a fourth verse to it so it's a little more balanced now. Let me know what ya think!
-shane

[Flyguy]

Wow. I just really like that song. You may want to change "All the praise" to "All my praise" but it's just a little thing. It would fit better with the rest of the song I think. But yeah..I really like it. I'd love to hear a recording.

[Philipe]

Yo, snizzle!

Nice stuff here, I like what you've done. Personally, I'm not into much worship-christian, but more Preachin-it-out christian, you know? I dont know what to call what i just called the long name, but nevertheless, your stuff sounds pretty good, yet i can't invision the songs without a tune- i know, thats what i tell everybody (just about), but its true. Besides, its a good way of pulling a recording or 2 out of people Anyways, keep on writing, Im interested in what you can do

With Sincerity, Sincereness, Sincerelyness, and Sinceregeance,
Phil-