The harm of words is sometimes we don't quite know what they really mean...

Chris · 06-29-2005, 02:32 AM

Man, I need to read journals more often. This is... yikes.

**Tony** · 06-29-2005, 08:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by benj

Nix is the new Lee.

Yowza!

finchfeeder · 06-29-2005, 10:02 AM

Well. Now I want to tell you my condom story.

I was pretty new at my church. I started working in the food pantry. One day, while unpacking donations, I found a condom. I took my job very seriously. I wanted to be a good steward. I did not know what to do with the condom. I started praying.

I was on call. I needed to wash my car. I reasoned that God knew where I was and He could tell people when to call me. I washed my car singing My Father Knows What I Need. Then, I went home.

I was 3 steps away from the phone when it rang. A lady in authority over me at the church was on the other end. She said "I don't even know why I am calling you." I KNEW WHY!

I told her about the condom. She said "What did you do with it?" I told her that I had put it on the shelf with the shampoo. Personal hygiene, right? She said "THROW IT AWAY!"

I did not hurry back. The next time I was at church, I went into the pantry to throw the condom away. The condom had moved! Now, it was on the desk. In my minds eye, I could see one of those grey hair little old ladies moving that condom.

Resisting the temptation to open it up to see what it was like, I threw the condom away.

I have decided that people should not donate condoms to the church if for no other reason than out of mercy for those of us who process their donations.

On the other hand, we have a sister church in Africa. Pastor and his wife have gone over to visit them. The ministers can't tell people to use condoms. If they did, they would be thrown out of the church. Instead, the ministers tell people to go to the health clinic and the clinic tells them to use condoms.

Pastor said that, as they toured Africa, they would see condoms hanging out on the clothes line. They wash and reuse them. Maybe we should start donating condoms???

Now, everybody, you will seldom see me discuss this type of topic. The reason I don't is because things can so rapidly degenerate. I am grateful to you, Nate, for giving me these opportunities to vent my stories. I know that you uphold high standards here in your journal.

Nix is the fairest of us all. I have never said it but I have thought it from the start, even though I am hetero-.

Let's talk about your mandolin!!! Do you play Bluegrass?

Nate · 06-29-2005, 11:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by finchfeeder

I have decided that people should not donate condoms to the church if for no other reason than out of mercy for those of us who process their donations.

Ahahahaha.

I have a funny condom story as well.

One time, I was in line at the Rally's down the street from my church (that's a drive-thru fast-food place, for those who don't know). There are public restrooms at the back of the restaurant, near the little menu thing where you order your food. Anyway, as I pulled away from the menu thing after ordering, some guy standing at the restroom door said something very quietly to me. I couldn't hear what he was saying, so I asked him to speak up. He kept mumbling, so I told him that I couldn't hear what he was saying. In the loudest whisper he could muster he said, "Do you have a condom?" I was like, "Ummm... no," and drove up to get my food as the car in front of me had just moved.

That was pretty odd. Of all the things that I've been mooched for living near New Orleans, that was by far the oddest. Usually, it's just "I'll shine your shoes for a fiver!"

Quote:

Pastor said that, as they toured Africa, they would see condoms hanging out on the clothes line. They wash and reuse them. Maybe we should start donating condoms???

Gross. I guess this gives credence to JerryLove's neverending rant about the Catholic church in Africa not distributing condoms to people.

Quote:

Let's talk about your mandolin!!! Do you play Bluegrass?

No, not really. I'm not good enough yet. Bluegrass mandolin playing tends towards some of the harder techniques, none of which I have mastered yet, such as tremolo picking, "chop chords," and super fast linear melodies. I need a lot more practice before I could even attempt any bluegrass.

In His love,
Nate

nix · 06-29-2005, 04:19 PM

Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the fairest of them all?

ME!!!!!!

I can play the ukulelia!!

**Leboman** · 06-29-2005, 04:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nate

Ok, we have discussed Snoopy, life mottos, condoms, warming liquid, dirigibles, pickles, and mysterious skeletal remains tonight. I think that has satiated my need for conversation for now, so, alas, I bid you all good night.

In His love,
Nate

Wow....all you need are some boobies and this will be just like my blog.

**Leboman** · 06-29-2005, 04:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nate

I wasn't expecting any comments like that... at least, not until Lee visited my blog again.

I wasn't even gonna go anywhere near that one. I'd get myself in trouble.

**Skeeter** · 06-30-2005, 12:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lee Modlin

Wow....all you need are some boobies and this will be just like my blog.

BOOBIES!!!

Nate, what if they started selling Snoopy-brand Condoms? Would you go into a fit of homocidal rage and start hunting down condom manufacturers?

swim2112 · 06-30-2005, 12:53 AM

evidentally I missed a lot.

I just wanted to pop in and tell you that I am OFFICIALLY finished with all my work for my class!!! YESSSSSS!!!!!!

All I ahve/get to do now I go bowling, and we will be all the way done tomorrow at 5:30 PM!

I am so over excited... it is not even funny