[guitarfan01]

Mirror boy doesn't look at much, except the sun --
He sees that rather well, even though it blinds him
People looking into him see the sun, too
Except when he looks at himself

His dirty surface brings him down sometimes
and dim the sunrays that reflect
And shadows of a hand move across his face
That in darkness, cleans darkness away

Mirror boy doesn't look at much, except the Son --
He sees Him rather well, even though He blinds him
People who see him see that Son, too
Except when he looks at himself.

Silly, but fun.

Reminds me of a C.S. Lewis quote someone has in their signature... "I believe in Christianity for the same reason I believe in the sun; not because I can see it, but by it I can see everything else."

This, though, has more to do with 2 Corinthians 3:13-18.

We are not like Moses, who would put a veil over his face to keep the Israelites from gazing at it while the radiance was fading away. But their minds were made dull, for to this day the same veil remains when the old covenant is read. It has not been removed, because only in Christ is it taken away. Even to this day when Moses is read, a veil covers their hearts. But whenever anyone turns to the Lord, the veil is taken away. Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect* the Lord's glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.

Galen



*or contemplate


EDIT: I am now subscribed to 40 journals, and CGR takes up the large portion of my day. I suppose my sig needs changing.

[guitarfan01]

3 Posts by me in a row... over a time period of 48 hours. *sigh*

Well, you won't be seeing me for a while, now. I am indefinately grounded from the computer, until I

1) get on a normal sleep schedule (in bed by midnight)

and

2) put in five more applications for jobs.

What number one consists of, I have no idea. How long do I have to keep to this "normal" sleep schedule? Like I said, no idea. I figure I'll be off the net for at least a week, probably more. Pray for me, that I might learn responsibility and self-discipline.

"If self-discipline is virtue, and the lack of discipline a sin, then I am the neediest of sinners, the raggimuffinest of raggimuffins, which is both a depressing and encouraging thought." -- Me, this morning.

Until today, I had never seen a Pop-Tart catch fire in the toaster oven.

Until today, I had never spent four hours on end with my little sister without us arguing and ending up being very angry with each other.

Good things happened today.

Galen

[IdidntDoIt]

dude i'll for sure be praying for you. hope everything goes easy for the job apps. and for getting on a "normal" sleep sched. talk to ya later bro!
troy

[Leboman]

Originally Posted by guitarfan01

Until today, I had never seen a Pop-Tart catch fire in the toaster oven.

Good things happened today.

Galen

That is SO Role Modlin that it isn't even funny. You are there my brother, you are there.

[Ordinary Sarah]

Hey, about that talent show, I've been trying to find people to play in a band with me, and it always seems to be going so slow.... and I've been pondering a solo thing. maybe you should try that if you can't get anyone to play with you.

[Ordinary Sarah]

Oh, and yes, I was referring to This Beautiful Mess

that's my FAVORITE of their albums. I think matt slocum is an awesome lyricist. Your style sounds a lot like his imo

anyways, hope you're doing well, galen!
sarah

[guitarfan01]

There's a stain on my soul that I hate so dearly;
An ebony festering wound
A suicide scar from a heart that's a harlot
And detemined to murder again

Again and again do I plunge the knife
Again and again do I die
Again and again You raise me back up
Again, for yet one more try

There's a mark on my mind that I can't get rid of;
A shadow of fluttering fear
That taunts me, slow motion, with wings of black velvet
And wears my face for a mask

Again and again do I feed the dark monster
Again and again do I cry
"Father, forgive me, for I know what I do,"
Again and again do I lie --
And again do I die, and again do I die

The blackness takes over, my life passes away
My heart dies and rots in my chest
The stench of my decay permeates my nostrils
My brain is the last thing to go
Just as my mind was the first

Oh, bring me to your life of light
That I might ride upon the sunbeam,
That the grace-brightened day would break through the clouds
And the love-colored light I would taste

Again and again does Your brightness come
And banish the darkest of night
Again and again does the blackness flee
From the son's radiant light

"And in Him there is no darkness
And there is no darkness at all."

I have a sneaking suspicion that this is crap, that I was really trying too hard when I wrote it. One thing that's not just a suspicion is the fact that I'm up and on the computer in direct violation of my Mom's instructions to the contrary.

Galen

[swiminfast]

*peaks head in*

*WAVES WILDLY!!!!*

HI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*sneaks out*

[Ordinary Sarah]

I have a sneaking suspicion that this is crap, that I was really trying too hard when I wrote it.

you're kidding? I thought it was really good.
I really liked this part:

There's a stain on my soul that I hate so dearly;
An ebony festering wound
A suicide scar from a heart that's a harlot
And detemined to murder again

Again and again do I plunge the knife
Again and again do I die
Again and again You raise me back up
Again, for yet one more try

the begginning was awesome, really drew me in to read the rest.
I love reading your stuff, it's awesome. very personal.

anyways, hope you're having a good day!
ttyl!
sarah

[guitarfan01]

Well, I was singing Bob Dylan's song, "Shot of Love" just now: "I need, I need, I need, a shot of love!" Because I really felt like I needed one. And my little sister came in (I had the doors closed between the den, where she was, and the living room, where I was) with this really pained/angry look on her face and asked me (again, in a pained/angry voice) to stop singing. I reacted with violence against a nearby cabinet. And then told her that I would stop, and she went back to her precious Disney channel... or was it Nick at Nite?

Aren't sisters f***ing wonderful?

I'm not putting this to evoke pity, I'm just angry. And I shouldn't even be on the computer, since I'm grounded from it until I meet the conditions I described above.

Anyway, mom just threatened to ground me from driving. Which would also sort of mean that I couldn't meet those aforementioned conditions. It would be nice to still have a parent that used his or her brain occasionally, instead of always acting on her emotions. But I also know that this is the hand that has been delt to me, and any resentment against the cards in that hand is resentment against the Dealer of that hand.

Father, forgive me again.

Galen

[Carly.]

Gosh, Galen... Get a job so you can move into your own place and out from underneath your mother's fist already! I want good things to start happening again for you and it won't start until you get a friggin job so you can move out!

Sorry... I just want you happy again.

[guitarfan01]

Originally Posted by Carly, who has remarkable insight,

Gosh, Galen... Get a job so you can move into your own place and out from underneath your mother's fist already! I want good things to start happening again for you and it won't start until you get a friggin job so you can move out!

Sorry... I just want you happy again.

That's odd, Mom says she wants the same thing. I, of course, don't know what I want -- or I don't want anything, but not because I'm satisfied. I don't want anything because I'm too dead to want anything, spiritually or otherwise.

I wrote this during the mission trip. It seems that it could refer to the previous post, though.

And if my heart is on my sleeve again, excuse me
And if my life is on the page again, I'm sorry
Though I'm ashamed of it, I won't erase it
So if my heart is on my sleeve again, forgive me.

There's a little more, but that really explains how I now feel about that post. I'm really sorry I posted it, and very regretful that I even allowed myself to feel that way. The anger and hate in that post... It makes me want to throw up.

This day has been good/bad. Yesterday, Grandma came and brought Curran, and also her boyfriend, who is 20 years younger than her and also married to someone else. She says she's in love with him, and that she loves him, and they act pretty friskily with each other. So I came into town today with the intention of applying to jobs, got my FAFSA in (finally!), and spent two hours on the computer at Dad's office, before eating lunch and then going to Hastings, where I bought three CDs. Then, I went to the youth group at PABC, and was freshly reminded of what a miserable worm I am. I hate what I do, what I don't think of. I hate the fact that I am what I am.

Originally Posted by Jon Foreman

When everything inside
Looks just like everything I hate,
You are the hope I have for change,
You are the one chance that I'll take...

This is how I feel at the moment: I feel like Peter might have right after Jesus chastened him the third time for sleeping when He needed him. But I don't really feel like my spirit is willing, even. I feel like my spirit itself is indifferent, while knowing it shouldn't be indifferent. I've been reading Lord Foul's Bane (book one of the first Chronicles of Thomas Covenant the Unbeliever by Stephen R. Donaldson) recently, and I've been recognizing Covenant in myself a lot more than I ever have before. His lack of willpower and general helplessness remind me of myself quite a bit.

But, in good news, New Way To Be Human is a really good album by Switchfoot, and does help to cheer me up somewhat. As does Philippians 1:6. Indeed, He is the hope I have for change.

Galen

[Leboman]

I feel your pain bro. I thought that as I grew older the struggle would diminish in my life....boy was I wrong.

[slap_j]

You're part of the ahbookclub...right?

[guitarfan01]

Yep.

And here I was hoping for a really good post from the celebrated Josh, when I saw in my CP that he was the last one to post here, but alas, my hopes have been dashed.

Slappy's good at that.

*sigh*