[guitarfan01]

Thanks, Julia, Laura. Though, I really don't think that the fact that it is "natural" gives me the right to harbor bitterness. Ephesians 4:26 says "'In your anger do not sin' : Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry," which seems to mean to me that we are supposed to forgive, no matter whether a person repents of the wrong behavior or not, no matter whether they ask our forgiveness. But, it's hard.

I was asleep 45 minutes ago, and I had a dream, and in this dream, a really attractive friend of mine was wearing a two-piece bikini swimsuit. And I asked her to put a shirt on. I hope I would have the guts to do that in real life.

Anyway, Dad and I are going to spend today together. We'll play guitars, go see Spider-Man 2, come back here and swim, and maybe have a real conversation. I'd like to take communion with him too, neither of us have had it through the church we're attending in forever. Please pray that his heart is softened to hear whatever God puts on me to hear. And that my heart is softened to say it with love and compassion. Thanks.

Galen

[Braid]

What I mean is that you can not help being angry, being angry is not a sin. When you act out on that anger it becomes a sin. If you are bitter then it is a sin. It's ok to be upset about something, just don't let it turn into sin.

Did I explain it better?

[guitarfan01]

Yeah, I'm trying not to be bitter, but I think I am, like I originally said.

Two songs that say how I feel, at the moment:

It seems it's always the crazy times
You find you'll wake up and reek of lies.
It takes more than your saline eyes
To make things right.

I'll take anything, anything genuine
Looking up from where I went, I could take whatever I get
Falling from Your hands or falling from Your lips
As long as it's from You, I know that I can take it, I can take it
And I'll rejoice


Tonight has been stressful, by the way. My left leg hurts, and has all day. I think I might be well on my way to herniating a disk in my vertebrae, the very same thing that has screwed Dad up a lot, both physically and mentally. I spent the afternoon with Dad, and I just love him so much, but he's so messed up -- or so I think. We went to see Spider-Man 2, and then bought the extended version of The Bourne Identity (with Matt Damon) at Wal-Mart. We brought it back to his apartment, only to find that the DVD wouldn't play. I was all for doing something else, something that we could actually do together that would involve some interaction between us, but he was fixed on the idea of watching the stupid movie, so he wouldn't stop trying to make it play. My leg and back were hurting me, so I went for a run around his apartment complex. That helped a bit, but as soon as I sat down again, it hurt again. And he was still messing around with the stupid TV. I was on the verge of just leaving, since he obviously wasn't interested in doing anything meaningful (though it was my fault, since I was the one who suggested buying the movie), when the thing decided to work. So we watched almost the whole thing before it once again stopped working. So I just came home at around 11:30. Maybe he will be able to get over here tomorrow, I don't know, and he didn't seem to enthusiastic about doing it.

And I'm afraid that I'm not going to be able to keep a friendship that I really want to keep. I'm afraid that I'll just put it off and put it off, until it disappears forever. I don't want that to happen. I'd rather have my legs amputated than that happen, but I'm afraid it will happen anyway.

I was listening to Blindside tonight, and I actually pulled off some screams. Surprised myself. It was probably just because the cough drop had me medicated enough that I didn't feel my vocal cords tearing.

Galen

[guitarfan01]

Dad came, and we're now finding mystery bills and incorrectly charged phone calls in our bills. It appears that someone has either faked us and highjacked our credit cards, or I have been calling long distance on my cell phone and just having amnesia about the whole thing (not to mention getting a tumor biopsied in Waco, for one mystery charge, and forgetting about that too), or Mom has been using our money for some very odd stuff.

I don't feel very much right now. Except maybe like laying down, crying and not getting up for a very long time.

Galen

[guitarfan01]

Well, I went for a run, and now I'm writing some lines for a song. This will be a song about running, life, and two people that are very close to my heart.

Step by step one foot in front of the other
One half mile is eaten up by my shoes
Turn around head back home to leave again
The sun rays warm my face
And you warm my heart

Right beside, a shadow of a memory paces mine
Around the world, pushing me on when I slow down
When I get tired you are there to keep me strong
One more half mile to go
One more lifetime

This love we celebrate is not the kind you usually write songs about
But it's one that got me moving up and out
like I've never moved before
And so I move

Sweat rolls down, earned through our exertion
Walking now, soft wind blowing through the blades of the field
Gathers me up, I spread my wings to fly
I feel like I could try
Like I could soar to you

This love we celebrate is not the kind you usually write songs about
But it's one that got me moving up and out
like I've never moved before
This love we consecrate is not the kind that leads to a bed
But its one that's helped me rise from the dead
Like I've never risen before
And so I move

Together with you I move
To move with you is heaven
Without the fear of hell
Together with you I move
To move with you is heaven
Without the fear of hell

Water caresses, smooth against my skin
Soothes away the pain to leave a pleasant aching
Water fills me, replenishes my life
Much like the love
much like the blood

This love we celebrate is not the kind you usually write songs about
But it's one that got me moving up and out
like I've never moved before
This love we consecrate is not the kind that leads to a bed
But its one that's helped me rise from the dead
Like I've never risen before
And so I move

I'm looking forward to running with more than your memory
More than an imagined shadow
More than a half-seen hollow
(repeat and fade)

I dunno. This is first/rough draft at the moment. I'm thinking of removing the rhyming parts of the chorus, the phrases "up and out" and "from the dead".

I ran two miles today for the first time since 10th grade (4 years ago). Dad's here, and I've got the Smalltown Poets CD playing, and I want to watch the Rich Mullins disc with him before he leaves -- he actually might stay the night and go to church with me tomorrow. That would be nice. Just pray that I allow God and His love to completely control me, you know?

Galen

[Praisey]

hehe somebody's inspired

it's good galen! i especially love this part...


Water caresses, smooth against my skin
Silkily washing the sweat away
Water fills me, replenishes my life
Much like the love
much like the blood

[Braid]

That was my favorite part too.

[Rainer.]

Hi! Nice to see you back.

[Leboman]

You know, I really should post more often, especially in YOUR blog. You da man....yes you are.

Sorry to hear about your family situation....believe me, I can relate.

[Consumingfire]

Hey galen bro,
Thanks for your post in my xanga. Do you have AIM? I think that maybe you've gotten a wrong impression by just reading my xanga of me... Because alot of that is just a place for me to dump things i don't want to dump on people. And alot of stuff that i say, i would never say or tell anyone. But anyways.. toodles!
Gabe

[Carly.]

I like Galen. We'll probably hang out one day.

[sanzi]

I don't think I've seen anyone as good at writing lyrics as you are. These are incredible.

Originally Posted by galen

Dad came, and we're now finding mystery bills and incorrectly charged phone calls in our bills. It appears that someone has either faked us and highjacked our credit cards, or I have been calling long distance on my cell phone and just having amnesia about the whole thing (not to mention getting a tumor biopsied in Waco, for one mystery charge, and forgetting about that too), or Mom has been using our money for some very odd stuff.

that happened to me. It was on the line we were using for internet turns out we got some dialers. They racked up about 250$ on my phone bill. I was very mad and I HAD to pay it. It made me sooo mad. They WOULDN'T rectify the situation. anyway, i no longer have that line. NO more problems from it.

Just pray that I allow God and His love to completely control me, you know?

you and me both.

[guitarfan01]

Originally Posted by avoiding

I like Galen. We'll probably hang out one day.

God willing.

Originally Posted by sanzi

I don't think I've seen anyone as good at writing lyrics as you are. These are incredible.

Thanks, Vikki. Allow me to refer you to one of my CGR friends who is a much better lyricist than I. His name is Jeff Shoup and his CGR name is Starboard Wake. Aaron Adams (Aaron Adams) is pretty good too, and so is John Roberson (mustbenothing). Ooh, and Benj Pocta (benj). Carly (avoiding) writes some awesome stuff. So do half the people on these boards. I'm not nearly as good as you think I am, I'm afraid.

that happened to me. It was on the line we were using for internet turns out we got some dialers. They racked up about 250$ on my phone bill. I was very mad and I HAD to pay it. It made me sooo mad. They WOULDN'T rectify the situation. anyway, i no longer have that line. NO more problems from it.

Well, we've found out that some of the charges weren't as off-the-wall as we originally thought. So that's good/bad. I don't know if all of them were explained though. Its really not my business. Ugh. I'm starting to distance myself from my parents.

you and me both.

Well, I'll pray for you right now, and whenever I think of you.

Wednesday was good. I went to Midland with Kevin and the Katalyst group, as well as turning in my housing deposit and application. I really hope I get Carr Hall, because not only does it have a piano, but I also can't afford any of the other housing facilities at ASU, and my mom won't let me live at home. So, eh. God's will be done. He loves me, and will do the best for me. Regarding the Katalyst date, we brought along Ornan's floor (www.ornansfloor.com) as the worship band, and they rocked the house as always. I felt especially moved to move tonight, so I did -- dancing like a white boy, but dancing to the Lord like a white boy, which I suppose is ok, if unsightly. I also did quite a bit of praying, and had my head thinking about others again. I really think that's the way to live, I just haven't been praying, "Lord, let me be a servant" and "do with me what you will, Lord" every morning like I did this morning. I do think those would be good prayers to start the day with. I also prayed, "Lord, purify me", which is a dangerous prayer, because it's one I think He enjoys taking advantage of. During the service (which was a youth service at a big church in Midland), I prayed a bit for the kids around me, but found myself praying more for the Katalyst group and for one girl whom I know here on Xanga that kept popping into my mind. I also met some new and fun people, one of whom has stayed in my memory -- her name is Allison, or Ally. Neato girl, knows how to have fun, wonderfully cute in a kind of "one of the guys" way. Not to mention the fact that she's really about the Lord. I hope we go back there next month. I hope my hoped-for job will allow me to get off to go next month. God's will shall prevail.

Please pray for me for several things regarding employment:
1) That I would get off my lardo and actually seek employment.
2) That I would be sensitive to God's leading in the area.
3) That I would wait patiently on Him while diligently and responsibly seeking employment.

And not regarding employment, that my parents would get a smashing hit from the Holy Spirit, as I think they need it. Actually, I suppose that we all usually need one of those. Finally, that I would be motivated in honoring and obeying my parents in love. And finally (really? perhaps), that I would be faithful to read the Scriptures daily and pray. Thanks, if you do.

Galen

[Leboman]

Originally Posted by guitarfan01

Dad came, and we're now finding mystery bills and incorrectly charged phone calls in our bills. It appears that someone has either faked us and highjacked our credit cards, or I have been calling long distance on my cell phone and just having amnesia about the whole thing (not to mention getting a tumor biopsied in Waco, for one mystery charge, and forgetting about that too), or Mom has been using our money for some very odd stuff.

I don't feel very much right now. Except maybe like laying down, crying and not getting up for a very long time.

Galen

I feel that way quite often. Sometimes I just feel like curling up in bed and pulling a Brian Wilson. Hope things brighten up bro. I'll pray for you.

[guitarfan01]

Originally Posted by Lee Modlin

I feel that way quite often. Sometimes I just feel like curling up in bed and pulling a Brian Wilson. Hope things brighten up bro. I'll pray for you.

Hate to tell you Lee, but you're a bit behind the times. Thanks for the prayers anyway. Love, brother. I hope you feel better too, man.

Galen