[Pipercostal]

Just curious, but what all parenting styles do people here suscribe to (if at all). My wife and I are big suscribers to Attachment Parenting. It works well with us and since we have two spirited kids, it works well with them too. what about the rest of you?

[Jas de F]

well, speaking for my parents...

they fed us, and clothed us, and changed our diapers, and cuddled with us in the rocking chair, and stuck their tongues out at us, and kissed us, and what-not. that's how they raised (and are raising) us. that's our style.

[theRat]

Yeah..my parents treated me like people. Hah. While I knew what the rules were and that they were not to be broken, we always had a great time. My parents tease me brutally and are generally insane. I love it that way. My family is one of the least sensitive in the world, so it's interesting. Think Bill Cosby on the Cosby show. My dad is very much like him. Yeah. If we whined, they whined back at us. We didn't whine long. Heh.

[lizwrenne]

i kno i kno im not a parent, but i have ideas on how i want to parent all 10 of my kids.

[walkwjc]

What is attachment parenting?

[exo]

Originally Posted by Pipercostal

Just curious, but what all parenting styles do people here suscribe to (if at all). My wife and I are big suscribers to Attachment Parenting. It works well with us and since we have two spirited kids, it works well with them too. what about the rest of you?

Can you define each style above. I'm not sure what they all mean.

[Pipercostal]

Originally Posted by exo

Can you define each style above. I'm not sure what they all mean.

Okay, sure. I'll do my best.

Attachment Parenting - promotes being attached to your baby. According to Dr. Sears this is done by the following. Having a close bond from birth (not being distracted in the first few hours so you can best bond with your baby), Breastfeeding from birth for at least a year (if not child-led weaning), Co-sleeping (having baby sleep in bed with you), Baby-wearing (having baby in your arms, sling or other carrier that holds them close to you), Responding to babies cries (Babies don't cry to manipulate, but should always be responded to. Never cry-it-out), Not putting your baby on a schedule but letting them dictate when they want to eat, sleep (to a limit), and Balancing your time to make sure your needs are being met as well. It's responsive parenting that advocates strong attachment bonds. As the child grows up, you use positive discipline, so no spanking or the like. More info can be found here.

Babywise - promotes schedules. Babies need to be on a schedule for everything from birth. You feed them, they go to sleep and they wake up all according to a schedule. It's a parent-centered approach. Children should obey their parents and should be disciplined consistently if they do not. More info can be found here.

Gentle Discipline - Very much like attachment parenting, varying slightly on discipline. Gentle discipline is neither permissive or punitive. Children need active guidance and well-established boundaries, but children can learn without punishment. We believe that fear and purposely-inflicted pain have no place in gentle, loving, Biblical discipline, and children should be discipled from birth with an appropriate mixture of kindness and firmness in a manner that respects their feelings and their developmental, emotional, and daily needs. More info can be found here.

No set style/Mainstream - is whatever you make it. Typically attachment is not as stressed, babies cry-it-out for sleeping, fed when they are hungry or sometimes schedules are used (just not adhered to as strictly). Discipline tends to be punitive (ie. spanking, time-outs).

At least that's my view on what they all are. I'm sure my bias against Ezzo shows.

I had forgotten that I made this thread. Probably would have done it differently now. Ah well. We try to do gentle discipline and attachment parenting.

[exo]

OK, thanks. We are definitely Babywise parents. I find it interesting that the Gentle Discipline is used to describe Biblical discipline when God literally wiped people out for not obeying him (obviously not advocating abuse or anything like that), but God was hardly gentle (he is sometimes, of course).

I'm also having trouble knowing why you are so against Ezzo.

Let the debate begin....

[3e3c3e]

My wife and I had twin boys in December, so we are not that experienced here (It's all new to us ). But looking at the descriptions it seem we seem to be Attachment Parenting, although we would like to get them on more of a schedule to make life less hectic.

But the only difference I know we have is we do want to use spanking / time-out if necessary. So maybe it's a blend of Attachment Parenting and Babywise. We see pluses in the Attachment side of things, but also like the discipline of the BabyWise.

~3e3c3e

[bobthecockroach]

Originally Posted by exo

I find it interesting that the Gentle Discipline is used to describe Biblical discipline when God literally wiped people out for not obeying him (obviously not advocating abuse or anything like that), but God was hardly gentle (he is sometimes, of course).

You find it interesting? I found it downright offensive. I believe punishment is essential to Biblical discipline.

Proverbs 23:13-14 (in several different translations to prove that I'm not inventing a meaning based on a single odd translation)

(NKJV)
Do not withhold correction from a child,
For if you beat him with a rod, he will not die.
You shall beat him with a rod,
And deliver his soul from hell.

(NIV)
Do not withhold discipline from a child;
if you punish him with the rod, he will not die.
Punish him with the rod
and save his soul from death.

(NASB)
Do not hold back discipline from the child,
Although you strike him with the rod, he will not die.
You shall strike him with the rod
And rescue his soul from Sheol.

---

Also noteworthy, the word "beat," "punish," or "strike," according to Strong's, does not have a single metaphorical meaning. It is always physical.

1. to strike, smite, hit, beat, slay, kill
__1. (Niphal) to be stricken or smitten
__2. (Pual) to be stricken or smitten
__3. (Hiphil)
____1. to smite, strike, beat, scourge, clap, applaud, give a thrust
____2. to smite, kill, slay (man or beast)
____3. to smite, attack, attack and destroy, conquer, subjugate, ravage
____4. to smite, chastise, send judgment upon, punish, destroy
__4. (Hophal) to be smitten
____1. to receive a blow
____2. to be wounded
____3. to be beaten
____4. to be (fatally) smitten, be killed, be slain
____5. to be attacked and captured
____6. to be smitten (with disease)
____7. to be blighted (of plants)

---

Anyway, the reason I point this all out is simple. If someone claimed that homosexuality was Biblically acceptable (or sex or pork or wine forbidden), I would correct them. Someone, whether the poster of this thread or whoever coined the term, is now claiming that Biblical discipline does not include punishment. That claim is false and attempts to add/detract from the Bible.

---

That said, when I become a parent I will punish my children when they do something wrong.

PS - If you wish to debate whether punishment is part of Biblical parenting, PM me. I made my point, and I have no intention of defending it in this thread and turning this thread into a debate.

[exo]

Originally Posted by bobthecockroach

You find it interesting? I found it downright offensive. I believe punishment is essential to Biblical discipline.

Proverbs 23:13-14 (in several different translations to prove that I'm not inventing a meaning based on a single odd translation)

(NKJV)
Do not withhold correction from a child,
For if you beat him with a rod, he will not die.
You shall beat him with a rod,
And deliver his soul from hell.

(NIV)
Do not withhold discipline from a child;
if you punish him with the rod, he will not die.
Punish him with the rod
and save his soul from death.

(NASB)
Do not hold back discipline from the child,
Although you strike him with the rod, he will not die.
You shall strike him with the rod
And rescue his soul from Sheol.

---

Also noteworthy, the word "beat," "punish," or "strike," according to Strong's, does not have a single metaphorical meaning. It is always physical.

1. to strike, smite, hit, beat, slay, kill
__1. (Niphal) to be stricken or smitten
__2. (Pual) to be stricken or smitten
__3. (Hiphil)
____1. to smite, strike, beat, scourge, clap, applaud, give a thrust
____2. to smite, kill, slay (man or beast)
____3. to smite, attack, attack and destroy, conquer, subjugate, ravage
____4. to smite, chastise, send judgment upon, punish, destroy
__4. (Hophal) to be smitten
____1. to receive a blow
____2. to be wounded
____3. to be beaten
____4. to be (fatally) smitten, be killed, be slain
____5. to be attacked and captured
____6. to be smitten (with disease)
____7. to be blighted (of plants)

---

Anyway, the reason I point this all out is simple. If someone claimed that homosexuality was Biblically acceptable (or sex or pork or wine forbidden), I would correct them. Someone, whether the poster of this thread or whoever coined the term, is now claiming that Biblical discipline does not include punishment. That claim is false and attempts to add/detract from the Bible.

---

That said, when I become a parent I will punish my children when they do something wrong.

PS - If you wish to debate whether punishment is part of Biblical parenting, PM me. I made my point, and I have no intention of defending it in this thread and turning this thread into a debate.

Heh, interesting as in "doesn't make sense at all to be considering what the Bible says on the issue of discipline and how God has disciplined us in the past."

[Gracie Love]

I responded to the poll a long time ago so I don't really remember what i put. According to your definitions John and I are both Gentle and attachment parents. With some differences.
1. I do not like these doctors like Sears and Spock and all that. As a matter of fact I think they are full of it and have damaged kids and this country for the last couple of generations. (example: Spock came on the seen in the late 40s early fifties "babyboomers" generation. This is the generation that has moved away from God and drug use and sexual freeness came out with this generation)
2. Both of the boys have slept with me when they are young up to 6 months because it was easier and better for nursing. ( By the way it helps a freat deal to cut down on the slept deprevtion), But when they cut themselves back on nursing and start sleeping through the night, I use the ferber method to teach them to comfort themsevles and to fall asleep on there own. (This is a really hard thing to do but it works if you follow the rules) Click here for information on the technique. For me it has been at about 6 to 7 months that the boys have gone through it.
3. We believe in spanking but not before a year old or so. I have swatted hands before that for pinching, hitting, and doing things that are dangerous to them, like playing with plugs, cords, and that type stuff. When they are old enough to really know what they are doing, we spank with the hand. When they get older we have other punishments to go along with spankings like standing in the corner at parade rest (not a time out), push ups, taking away there favorite things ( like for Matthew his TV is what we take away because it is his favorite).
4. When we punish the kids we give them a little time to deal with their fellings on their own and then we talk to them about what they did wrong and why they got punished, then we love on them and let them know how much we do love them.

Does that make sense? Well, in anycase that is how we handle our children.

[Pipercostal]

I put down 'Biblical Parenting' for gentle discipline because that's what they called it. I now would just call it Gentle Discipline. No offence meant.

And we're against Ezzo because it's far too scheduled. Especially to do with eating. When you schedule meals (especially while breastfeeding) it has been known to cause failure to thrive babies and a decrease in milk supply. That and the guy constantly uses scripture out of context. Go to www.ezzo.info for more information. Scheduled sleep we don't like simply because we don't like crying it out. Personally (no offence to anyone) we find it to be a little cruel. We go by Elizabeth Pantley's method (No Cry Sleep Solution).

We co-slept with our children for a while. Our son chose to go into his own bed much earlier than our daughter. And we try and be non-punitive with discipline, but we're certainly not negligent with disciplining them. We give them time-outs and make sure they know what they did was wrong and why.

[exo]

Originally Posted by Pipercostal

I put down 'Biblical Parenting' for gentle discipline because that's what they called it. I now would just call it Gentle Discipline. No offence meant.

And we're against Ezzo because it's far too scheduled. Especially to do with eating. When you schedule meals (especially while breastfeeding) it has been known to cause failure to thrive babies and a decrease in milk supply.

Which is exactly why Ezzo states that you should conform the schedule to your baby's needs (i.e. if your baby needs to eat every 1.5 hours, then feed them every 1.5 hours). To be honest it sounds as though you haven't read his books at all and are spouting rhetoric. That is not to say that Ezzo is the 'right' way, but I dislike people misrepresenting others' point of view.

That and the guy constantly uses scripture out of context. Go to www.ezzo.info for more information. Scheduled sleep we don't like simply because we don't like crying it out. Personally (no offence to anyone) we find it to be a little cruel. We go by Elizabeth Pantley's method (No Cry Sleep Solution).

Just so you know, it isn't cruel. As far as Ezzo's usage of Scripture is concerned, I haven't really run into it so I can't comment.

We co-slept with our children for a while. Our son chose to go into his own bed much earlier than our daughter. And we try and be non-punitive with discipline, but we're certainly not negligent with disciplining them. We give them time-outs and make sure they know what they did was wrong and why.

That's good to hear. I recommend a book called 'Shepherding a Child's Heart" by Ted Tripp. We found it to be an excellent, Biblical guide to discipline (and although he does believe in spanking, I think you could easily apply the concepts to whatever discipline you practice).

[KFBobInsanesMom]

I had to vote other because I based my child rearing on the Bible and what is listed here as gentle discipline isn't biblical.

I abhor time outs, they are ( IMO ) the MOST useless means of training a child I have ever seen and I never used them. I am 100% against babies sleeping in the same bed as the parents, its too dangerous. I nursed the boys when they were hungry, and I put them down to sleep when they were tired. I always tried to comfort them if they cried, but if they were dry, fed, warm, etc I would put them down for a minute or two and let them go ahead and exercise their lungs. I never let them cry for more than a couple minutes though before I would pick them up again.

Children needs lots of love, lots of time, and lots of hugs; but they also need rules and discipline. One problem I think a lot of parents have is that they don't tell their children what is expected of them. My boys knew that when we went to the store I expected them to not grab things, to not run off, etc. I didn't reward them for things like behaving in a grocery store, that is just something they were supposed to do . Too many parents reward their children for simply doing what they should do ( I have heard other parents say this at least a million times in stores..... if you be good while mommy shops I'll take you to McDonalds....etc). Its one thing to praise a child for being good , its another to bribe them to be good.

My boys got spanked on occasion, mostly for things that were a danger to them and needed to be immediately stopped ( like running towards the street), and when a bit older for deliberate disobedience.