OK, I'll try and be breif. I have found that I may have a little crush on this girl (This sounds kind of stupid seeing how we are both 22-23) Anyhow, she is in a program called Masters Commssion (church program). I also did this program years ago. As a first year student one is not allowed to date. The first year is so busy with stuff and the program was designed to help the students keep their focus. So yeah (please, no debates about if this is cool or not, I've heard them all and regardless, the rule is in place.)

So anyhow, I hang out with the group of MCs (the students) alot and her and I talk. I in no way want to break any rules or anything like that. I see this as a great chance to get to know her before I would try and ask her out or whatever. (Graduation in about 5 weeks) I have put out a little "vibe" and kind of feel a little coming back my way. So, there could be a chance. I am curious about what kind of stuff one should ask about. I mean, when I say I want to get to know her...what do I want to know?

If that makes any sense, some imput would be great. What issues are important and should be discussed and found out before one would try a relationship.

[WandaWoman]

Originally Posted by Admeralspiffy

I am curious about what kind of stuff one should ask about. I mean, when I say I want to get to know her...what do I want to know?

Only you can answer that question. I can't tell you what you want to know about this girl. You can ask her pretty much anything. Find out what kinds of things she likes to do for fun. Just have normal conversation with her. Tell her things about you also.

If that makes any sense, some imput would be great. What issues are important and should be discussed and found out before one would try a relationship.

Hang out with friends to see how she interacts around them. What are her views on dating? Are they similar to yours? Get to know her just as if you wanted nothing more than a friendship.

[BillSPrestonEsq]

simple, talk about anything and everything.

Learn her values over thwe same spectrem and ypu should be set plus it will take longer than a year!

[danalyn]

both of the above answers are good... and I think Bill took my answer. Everything! Start off with no intentions ((if you can...)) try to think of her as a friend. It'll show you what she's like, what she likes to do, what her opinions are...

[bobthecockroach]

You want to know her. That is something that cannot be obtained in discussions and question-and-answer sessions. It can only come from experience with her. In general, the more time you spend with her, the better you'll get to know her. Keep in mind, I'm referring to time spent together as friends not lovers. Spend time doing things together.

My 50th of a USD.

All of that stuff sounds great, thanks for the good thoughts. It is helping me put things into perspective.

I guess I wasn't real clear though. See, she is in the program and has been since September. I have been friends with her since that time. They graduate in 5 weeks. So, I have already been at it (talking to her and whatnot) for 7 months or so. Honetly, I didn't have any intentions at all for the longest time. It has been maybe the past 2 weeks that I have realized that I may actually like her. I've gotten to know her well enough to know that I want to get to know her more. I guess my problem is that I would like to maybe spend some time with her...not in the big groups as normal. However, the rules of this program do not allow one-on-one time with the opposite sex. The only time I can be around her is with other people. I mean, it is frustrating, but I do respect the rules and all.

I suppose I am just trying to figure out what it means to really get to know someone. My best plan is to continue to do things like now...hanging out, talking, and all of that. If it seems like she might be interested, maybe asking her to "go out" (not really a date, but not in a big group) some time after graduation. But alas, then she moves back to her home state several hours away.

[Thespia]

I think you learn a person's thought process through talking to them...just about them, what they think...conversation is a GREAT art form.

And for future reference...Communication is a great, great skill to have, and deserves practice.

Then, you learn about their behaviour through being with them. Then, in dating, you learn a different side of their behavior: how they behave in a dating relationship.

We all have different aspects or our personalities that come out in different situations. At this stage...just TALK to her about everything! Like what your passions are and what you have in common, and what you don't have in common. Learn about her family and her past and her views on God and life, and all the positive stuff. Then learn about her future hopes. Thats a good way to tell if you'd want to date her..if her future plans sound similiar in feel to yours.