[Ben_Kenobi]

Hey all I am Ben_Kenobi. I have posted on here before w/ girl troubles and all that crap. More advice needed now.

Ok here is my problem. I have had girl troubles in the not too distant past and I still have no clue what the heck happened. Thought she liked me, she said she liked me, said she didn't like me, etc ,etc. Now we are just good friends.

My problem is that I still love her. With me I do not go rushing into these things. I have actually pursued 2 girls in my 18 years of living and each time it is after careful prayer and advice from others. When I do pursue them well I pursue them. I don't give up until finally I realize it is done. Usually takes a while. So this girl had no clue what she wanted and i did and it was a big mess and now we are just good friends except I still have feelings for her. Part of me says let go, the other says no hold on there is still a chance. This also goes for the other girl I have pursued.

I just don't know what to do. If i am supposed to give up and move on i have no clue how because every time i see her I get butterflies in my stomach. I love hanging out w/ her and it's the place i would rather be than pretty much anwhere else. I still get nervous just asking her to go do something.

I am not good w/ love stuff. Could someone please try to give me some advice? I don't have many ppl around here that understand how I feel.

[Skradd]

Ah yeah, I've been here I know how you feel buddy. It sucks, 'cause girls are...girls, and therefore we don't get it. It's all going good, and then it's not and you can't see what's gone on inside her head, but she's changed her mind. I hear ya.

Mate, your best bet is not to try and understand what she wants, but instead just try and be her friend - if that doesn't get too uncomfortable for either of you, which it may I'm afraid. But try for now. If something happens it happens, but don't lay in wait on her changing her mind - I know that's a lot harder in practice, but pray for wisdom and patience in it. Pray for her as well, this wouldn't be easy on her either, remember that.

It's hard to say whether she'd change her mind, 'cause as much as all guys would like to pigeon-hole all girls into the same box and write a strategy book around it that is universal, such is not the case and each girl is different, obviously. So I don't know how she'd handle it. Some girls are ok with being friends after feelings were between the two of you, some aren't (my ex-girlfriend, for example). And of course it depends on the situation as well.

Just try and be her friend, but don't expect things to not get weird and uncomfortable, 'cause they may. Be prepared to roll with that and back off. This may be an instance where you have to learn to give her some space to figure it out between her and God (if she's of the Lord).

Be aware also that she may not be willing to share deep dark feelings with you, now that she's exposed a part of her like that. Or she may unfortunately be completely over you and has no problems with hanging out with you. Or she may be uncomfortable because she still has emotional feelings for you, but doesn't feel that it's right.

Something like that

Basically - give her some space. Offer support, be friendly, give her space, and pray for God's will to be done, whatever it may be.

Bless ya mate You'll be in my prayers.

-brad.

[JerryLove]

It sounds like she has made it clear what relationship she wants right now. You need to decide if that is something you can live with or not. If you continue to hold on the expectation ("she'll come around"), you're gonna get pretty resentful when she falls head-over-heels for someone else.

Maybe she will decide she's interested in you after all... but for both of your sakes, you need to presume she will not and act according to your needs under that assumption. Leave the rest to be whatever it will be.

[SilverNitrate]

Best advice I think anyone could give:
We are men.... we will NEVER be able to understand women.

A question I have though... are you sure you're "in love" with said girl? I mean... by the time I was 18 I just knew for sure that I was "in love". This is a very common theme for me... I date a girl... everything's going great... I think I'm "in love"... and next thing I know... the relationship is over and I'm really not hurt that much by it. Now... had I truly been in love... then yes... I would've been very hurt that the relationship didn't work out... but since that wasn't the case... I think it's safe to say that I never was truly "in love".

I hope that makes sense... it's almost 4:30 o'clock in the A.M. and I'm tired.