[_maranatha]

I got this as a e-mail forward (explains number 10) and couldn't stop laughing.. Hope you find it as funny as I did..
-Rhonda.

"Once A Pun A Time"
1. Two vultures board an airplane, each carrying two dead raccoons. The
stewardess looks at them and says, "I'm sorry, but only one carrion allowed per passenger."

2. Two boll weevils grew up in South Carolina. One went to Hollywood and became a famous actor. The other stayed behind in the cotton fields and never amounted to much. Naturally, the latter became known as the lesser of two weevils.

3. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, but when they lit a fire in the
craft, it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it
too.

4. A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides up to the
bar and announces: "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."

5. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? He wanted to transcend dental medication.

6. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the
lobby bragging loudly to each other about their most recent tournament
victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of his office and asked
them to go somewhere else. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off. "Because," he said, "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."

7. A woman gave birth to twin boys and had to give them up for adoption. One
infant went to live with a family in Egypt who named him "Ahmal". The other baby was adopted by a family in Spain who named him "Juan". Years later, Juan sent a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she told her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responded, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen "Ahmal."

8. Some monks were behind on their payments for the new belfry they had had
built onto the monastery so, to raise funds, they opened up a small florist
shop. The existing town florist thought this was very unfair competition since
everyone seemed to like buy their flowers from these men of God. He asked the good Brothers to close down their shop, arguing that the Church should not be in the business of taking his livelihood away. Although sympathetic to his plight, the monks decided they would not close until they at least had paid off their debt. He went back and begged them to close but they ignored him. So the man, feeling he had no choice, hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most unsavoury thug in town to "persuade" them to close. Hugh beat up the monks and trashed their store, telling them he'd be back if they didn't close up. Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist friars.

9. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he, and everyone around him suffered from his very bad breath. This made him ....what? A super callused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

10. And finally, there was the person who sent ten different puns to his friends
with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh.
Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

[Jezka]

Lol, I like these very much. I've heard some but most of them were new ones.

[maux]

i love number 9. i always have. good stuff.

[Drill]

I'm not one for puns

[nards]

they're good.

[smhatahy]

[God's Jedi]

I despise puns. But most of theses made me laugh.

[Shaneathin86]

they are funny, here's one i've heard

a string walked into a bar and asked the bartender for a drink, however the bartender responded "we don't serve strings here" so the string walked outside the bar tied himself in a knot at the top for a head and cut it up a little to make hair then he walked back into the bar and asked for a drink again, the bartender said "aren't u that same string from before?" the string replied "no i'm a frayed knot"

[Saxophone]

Originally Posted by Shaneathin86

they are funny, here's one i've heard

a string walked into a bar and asked the bartender for a drink, however the bartender responded "we don't serve strings here" so the string walked outside the bar tied himself in a knot at the top for a head and cut it up a little to make hair then he walked back into the bar and asked for a drink again, the bartender said "aren't u that same string from before?" the string replied "no i'm a frayed knot"

LOL that was awesome! I love puns!

[Ring of a bell]

Give me more give me more!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I love it I love it I love it!!!!!!!!!!!