Rachel's Stuff- all in one thread! (rc if you wish)

hapa_angel · 05-18-2005, 12:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Art

How many writing styles do you have, anyhow?

All I really have to say is that I am eagerly anticipating hearing these three songs.

More than you know, Art... more than you know.

And I look forward to getting them done and recorded.

hapa_angel · 05-30-2005, 12:14 AM

unfinished as of yet.

****

time is moving slowly; I swear my clock is dead
it seems like it's been sitting there for days
the radio is blaring stuff I don't care to hear
things that aren't what I want to convey

so I wrote this little song for you

the eon's speeding up some; the sun is moving now
I think my shadow shifted over there
oh, I can't hardly breathe, 'cause when I start to think
the torture of my daydreams I can't bear

how'd I last this long? I have no clue

hapa_angel · 06-02-2005, 03:48 AM

Two more verses on this snippet.

****

time is moving slowly; I swear my clock is dead
it seems like it's been sitting there for days
the radio is blaring stuff I don't care to hear
things that aren't what I want to convey

so I wrote this little song for you

the eon's speeding up some; the sun is moving now
I think my shadow shifted over there
oh, I can't hardly breathe, 'cause when I start to think
the torture of my daydreams I can't bear

how'd I last this long? I have no clue

And just like that it's over; you came and then you left
I can't believe how fast this all occurred
My dreams are all I'm left with; that and the memories
Of you just hanging on my every word

How long until I see you once more

The skies are turning grey now; they look so cold and bleak
Dismal as the gaping hold in me
Loneliness engulfs me; I don't think I can bear it
When your face is all that I see

How will I survive this? I'm not sure

***Art*** · 06-02-2005, 11:21 AM

Once again, I think you already know how I feel about this one.

hapa_angel · 06-06-2005, 02:35 AM

And now, it's finally finished.

Here is the whole enchalada, complete with a spiffy working title and chords.

And for your listening enjoyment, I'm including a nice crappy recording of this, courtesy of my mp3 player. Have fun, kids.

Deep
Em
Time is moving slowly; I swear my clock is dead
Am7
It seems like it's been sitting there for days
Em
The radio is blaring stuff I don't care to hear
Am7
Things that aren't what I want to convey

D+                            Bm7        C
So I wrote this little song for you

Em
The eon's speeding up some; the sun is moving now
Am7
I think my shadow shifted over there
Em
Oh, I can't hardly breathe, 'cause when I start to think
Am7
The torture of my daydreams I can't bear

D+                                Bm7        C
How'd I last this long? I have no clue

                    C                       Em
I don't know when; I don't know why
                  D+                          Am7
I don't know how I fell so deep in love with you
           Bm7                    C
I never want to say goodbye

Em
And just like that it's over; you came and then you left
Am7
I can't believe how fast this all occurred
Em
My dreams are all I'm left with; that and the memories
Am7
Of you just hanging on my every word

D+                            Bm7         C
How long until I see you once more

Em
The skies are turning grey now; they look so cold and bleak
Am7
Dismal as the gaping hold in me
Em
Loneliness engulfs me; I don't think I can bear it
Am7
When your face is all that I see

D+                              Bm7        C
How will I survive this? I'm not sure

                    C                       Em
I don't know when; I don't know why
                  D+                          Am7
I don't know how I fell so deep in love with you
              Bm7                   C
I hold my head and start to cry

(1 - Em) (2 - Am7) (3 - Em)
Don't leave me stranded here
Don't leave me hanging (3x)
Am7
Don't leave me stranded here
Don't leave...

                    C                       Em
I don't know when; I don't know why
                  D+                          Am7
I don't know how I fell so deep in love with you
                     Bm7                    C
We'll make this work, just have to try
                    C                       Em
I don't know when; I don't know why
                  D+                          Am7
I don't know how I fell so deep in love with you
              Bm7                 C
I hold you tight, let out a sigh

***Art*** · 06-06-2005, 03:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hapa_angel

And now, it's finally finished.

Here is the whole enchalada, complete with a spiffy working title and chords.

And for your listening enjoyment, I'm including a nice crappy recording of this, courtesy of my mp3 player. Have fun, kids.

Deep
Em
Time is moving slowly; I swear my clock is dead
Am7
It seems like it's been sitting there for days
Em
The radio is blaring stuff I don't care to hear
Am7
Things that aren't what I want to convey

D+                            Bm7        C
So I wrote this little song for you

Em
The eon's speeding up some; the sun is moving now
Am7
I think my shadow shifted over there
Em
Oh, I can't hardly breathe, 'cause when I start to think
Am7
The torture of my daydreams I can't bear

D+                                Bm7        C
How'd I last this long? I have no clue

                    C                       Em
I don't know when; I don't know why
                  D+                          Am7
I don't know how I fell so deep in love with you
           Bm7                    C
I never want to say goodbye

Em
And just like that it's over; you came and then you left
Am7
I can't believe how fast this all occurred
Em
My dreams are all I'm left with; that and the memories
Am7
Of you just hanging on my every word

D+                            Bm7         C
How long until I see you once more

Em
The skies are turning grey now; they look so cold and bleak
Am7
Dismal as the gaping hold in me
Em
Loneliness engulfs me; I don't think I can bear it
Am7
When your face is all that I see

D+                              Bm7        C
How will I survive this? I'm not sure

                    C                       Em
I don't know when; I don't know why
                  D+                          Am7
I don't know how I fell so deep in love with you
              Bm7                   C
I hold my head and start to cry

(1 - Em) (2 - Am7) (3 - Em)
Don't leave me stranded here
Don't leave me hanging (3x)
Am7
Don't leave me stranded here
Don't leave...

                    C                       Em
I don't know when; I don't know why
                  D+                          Am7
I don't know how I fell so deep in love with you
                     Bm7                    C
We'll make this work, just have to try
                    C                       Em
I don't know when; I don't know why
                  D+                          Am7
I don't know how I fell so deep in love with you
              Bm7                 C
I hold you tight, let out a sigh

♥

hapa_angel · 06-06-2005, 08:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Art

♥

hapa_angel · 04-14-2006, 05:19 AM

Once upon a time there was a girl
Who grew up living the modern life
Once again she straddles the line
Between what everyone says and what she knows is right

Bright-eyed girl, hit the world
But don't let them hold all you know
Bright-eyed girl, you've got a plan
To free yourself from everything you were told
But your soul's been sold

Every day a smile on her face, what a waste
Make haste, keep up the pace of this world
Plastered on the web, her toothy grin for all to see
It's even harder to reach this girl

(but your soul's been sold)... to the highest bidder
Collect your money, hit the mall
Spend to your heart's content
The bane of your existance is
It's not the first time nor the last
You'll do it again

hapa_angel · 04-14-2006, 05:22 AM

Curled up deep in my cave again, I
Revel in my loneliness
Dark sky all around, sunsets are my
Faded dreams of a grand existance

In the real world, things are rarely
Cut-and-dried like they are tonight
Would anyone care if I were to
Vanish off the face of the earth

Oh, I, tonight, am lost in my solitude
Oh, I will write another wretched tune

Sob stories abound, but somehow
There's always room for one more
Color me dank like the threatening skies
I'm a somber fool galore

Big words, big thoughts, bigger world
Swallows me up 'till I feel small
Couldn't care less if anyone cared
No, that's not true at all

Does anyone see beyond the facade I hide behind
Difficult for me to be who I really am

Oh, I, tonight, am lost in my solitude
Oh, I will write another wretched tune

Oh, I, tonight, am lost in my solitude
Oh, I will write the secret, private, hidden, innermost thoughts of you

hapa_angel · 04-14-2006, 05:23 AM

Those two posts would be my newest songs. Tear into them please. I am not simply asking for RCs, I am demanding it. [/PFOD-ing]

***Art*** · 04-16-2006, 12:36 AM

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

I like the first one especially much. (Good english.) The second one is sad, but I guess that is kind of the point.

hapa_angel · 05-08-2006, 05:11 AM

(chorus)
Now you run around
Wondering where life has been
While you've been sleeping in your room
But you've gotta stop
Thinking what might have been
Your time to shine is coming soon

You run around downtown
Run into an old fling on the street
He's got a nine-to-five
Wife and two kids, so happy
And you wonder
When's it gonna be my turn
But you know that
You've still got so much left to learn

You hurry off to work now
Stop at a coffeeshop on the way
Order your usual
Fork over four bucks for a latte
And you wonder
Why your life is such a bore
When you know that
There's just gotta be something more

(bridge)
Don't shelve me away
With all the pretty faces on jewel cases
With nothing to say
You've gotta find something deeper
Than today

(back to chorus)

---------
Title suggestions, anyone? I can't think of a good one for this, and I'm hesitant to just slap something on it because 9 times out of 10 that tends to stick to it for good, in my book.

walkwjc · 05-08-2006, 05:50 AM

Title: 'Something More'

That's all I've got. I have a hard time critiqueing just lyrics. I do much better when there is a recording. I like it though. Now record it.

hapa_angel · 08-27-2007, 05:58 AM

Well, it's been over a year, and I still can't think of anything to title that song. Maybe I'll wind up slapping Donnie's title on it if I ever get it recorded.

So I'm bumping this with a song blurb I've written. I'm not sure if I should even bother posting the other song I wrote last year as I am not crazy about it. Hah.

Anyway. My short blurb from this last week. It's meant to be a chorus, I'm fairly sure. I can barely remember the melody I had for it now. I went as far as to write out the numbered chord progressions that were playing in my mind at the time, since I had no access to an instrument at that hour of the night. So, no chords yet, just the basic progression that was in mind.

iii              iv	       I        V
I wonder     if you'd put yourself out on the line
If you knew  what was real
Would you    hold to  things that never ever die
And not just  what you can feel

hapa_angel · 02-12-2008, 02:48 AM

More of that blurb, written just now. Verses one and two, a pre-chorus, the already-written chorus, and a second pre-chorus. I'm imagining a piano + light acoustic guitar for the background. I need a second and possibly third chorus still. Ideas and critique welcome.

you fell on your face
can't you see
you're a disgrace
so they told you that day

you learned differently from the rest
soon surpassed
all the best
in the way

and you showed them what it's about
until you lost yourself to self-doubt

I wonder if you'd put yourself out on the line
If you knew what was real
Would you hold to things that never ever die
And not just what you can feel

You showed them couldn't put it past you
what happened to the you I knew?