Funny Things Kids Say

nate95366 · 05-12-2006, 03:11 PM

My daughter (18 months) is big-time into colors right now. If you're with her for any amount of time, she'll ask you, "What color _______?" What color ________?" And then she'll answer her own questions: "Blue!" "White!"

The other day, I was changing her (dirty) diaper, so I was asking her "What color is Big Bird (character on her diaper)?" She'd answer "Yellow!" I'd ask, "What color is the floor?" She'd answer "White!" Then she asked, "What color da poo-poo?" And then she answered, "Brown!"

I just about died.

Nate

GRibbit · 11-12-2006, 12:04 PM

Skyler's clas was studying Insects a couple of weeks ago. He brought home one of the worksheets that they had done in class and on of the questions was "How are insects born?" His answer? "The you-shwull way".

I cracked up.

Jfool · 06-05-2007, 11:04 PM

My wife put my 4 year old on the phone with me while I was at work... all he said was "BYE!"

When he was three he used so say (with me right there) "Mommie I want Daddy to stop talking!"

Also "cow-a-pitter" for catterpillar.

cngp90 · 06-11-2007, 09:27 PM

I had a little buddy when I worked in the nursery at our old church named Giordanno who was like 3 or 4. One tuesday morning he went around the sanctuary with one of those little toy shopping carts with one of those tunnel things that are collapsible that kids play with stuck on the front of it and sorta looped around to the side of the cart. He was going around to all the kids with a huge grin on his face shouting that he was selling "Poo-poo ice cream! poo-poo ice cream for sale!" It was so hilarious. I didn't have the heart to make him quit.

andyredeemed · 10-09-2007, 05:03 PM

About eight years ago, I was in a McDonalds with my wife and kids. A muslim family walked in and the wife and kids sat down near us. She was wearing full traditional black veil, so that only her eyes where visible. Tim, my second son who at the time was four said in the loudest mock-whisper in history asked me:"Daddy, why is that lady dressed up as Batman?".
Sadly, the floor failed to open up and swallow me.

bobthecockroach · 10-11-2007, 12:08 PM

I heard a kid in a subway train here ask "Steigen wir hier aus?" (Do we get off here?) I think that's the German version of "Are we there yet?"

I thought it was funny.

SecretAgentRat · 10-11-2007, 01:31 PM

I have the Kindergarten through First Grade kids in my Sunday School class--all boys. They're great.

One time, however, two little boys and I got into a very serious discussion about Nuclear Weapons. They were explaining to me how they would like to "drop two bombs on Egypt 'cause they're bad people." I then attempted to explain why that was maybe not the best idea in the world and that they'd kill all the nice people too. Well...they were adamant about dropping that bomb (I knew I should have left well enough alone and not told them about Hiroshima when they started talking nuclear bombs....go me.) and were not going to change their minds no matter how I explained it. Well, right before leaving class one of the little boys comes up to me and says, "Okay. I'm only going to drop ONE bomb on Egypt, and only after you get all the people out."

Another time I had a little boy (with 8 older sisters) explain to the class the difference between lace and satin and it's uses at weddings. [blinks] He's growing out of that now, thank God.

rock_show_host · 10-11-2007, 01:32 PM

When my friend was little, he'd occasionally hear his father say d***it when he was angry, so my friend would walk around the house going "Damage!"

Also, when I was really little I was at the pool, and I was waiting to get out on the ladder (since I was too little to climb out), and there was a rather large woman sitting on it. So as my mom was packing up, she yelled to me that it was time to get out, to which I loudly replied, "I will as soon as fat lady gets off the ladder!"

I've also been told my first word was neither "Momma" or "Dadda," but "Pop-Tart." Even as an infant I had my priorities right in place.

**Vershal** · 07-29-2008, 08:21 PM

The kiddo was just trying to repeat something I said in a moment of childishness (which is often), but it came out like this:

Beans, beans, good the heart
the more I eat, the more I fart
the better the fart the better I feel
I eat my beans at every meal.

He also loves the movie The Sandlot, and the next is a demonstration of the power of media (sampled at bedtime prayers):

Our Father, who is in Heaven, hallowed be your name; your Kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in Heaven; give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us; for thine is the kingdom, the power and the glory...FOOOOOOORRRRREEEEEEEEVVVVVVVEEEEEERRRRR.

taykey · 07-29-2008, 08:41 PM

my mom used to tell me and my sister

"beans beans the magical fruit
the more you eat, the more you toot
the more you toot, the better you feel
so eat beans for every meal"...and...

once when i was 3, me and my mom and my sister were in toysRus, and we were at the side of the store where the buggies(shopping carts)were, and i was in the little seat, and sitting quietly, and there was a guy with his son(or grandson...)(about 6-8, i think, i can't really remember), and the kid was acting up, and he said, pointing at me "why can't you behave like that girl?" and i turned around and stuck my tongue out at him.

i still remember that.

Here-am-I · 07-29-2008, 11:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vershal

Our Father, who is in Heaven, hallowed be your name; your Kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in Heaven; give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us; for thine is the kingdom, the power and the glory...FOOOOOOORRRRREEEEEEEEVVVVVVVEEEEEERRRRR.

If I heard a kid say that at his bed time prayers... that would be it. There's no doubt in my mind that I would die laughing.

As for silly things kids say -this is more cute than funny- this kid I spend time with used to call me "Bugga" when he was really little (my name is Rebekah). It made me smile all the time

niangelo · 07-30-2008, 12:09 AM

When I was six, my mom's friend gave me a tin full of small change as a gift. I wrote him a thank-you note, "Dear Regan, thank you for the pennies."

I spelled "pennies" wrong.

Cough.

JerRocks2day · 07-30-2008, 08:06 AM

One time, I thought that a picture of a guy lying down getting a tan and his son using his tan side to roast marshmellows was an example of sex. This was in 2nd grade.

**Vershal** · 08-13-2008, 08:23 PM

Working on scripture memorization tonight:

Susannah: Psalm 90.2 — From everlasting to everlasting, You are God.
Micah: I...am God?

**H.M. Murdock** · 08-13-2008, 08:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by niangelo

When I was six, my mom's friend gave me a tin full of small change as a gift. I wrote him a thank-you note, "Dear Regan, thank you for the pennies."

I spelled "pennies" wrong.

Cough.

I wish I were that awesome.

A friend of mine has an adorable little daughter named Evyn. She is eerily intelligent, to the point of walking up to me and telling me things I really don't want to know about, say, pregnancy. But one day, her dad and I made her a cardboard office set- a razr, a mac airbook, a bluetooth headset, the works. Even a sharpie! Regrettably, we had to inform her that the sharpie was defective and that we would work on returning it post haste- when we did not do it within five minutes, we turned around to find that she had convinced one of my friends to light the cardboard sharpie on fire. When we saw it, we broke out into wailing and grief over the environmental damage done by burning a sharpie in one's back yard. She monologued- monologued- about the freedoms inherent in a socially anarchistic capitalist democracy- "such as the United States, gentlemen"- and wrapped it all up with, "besides, it's not real. You guys are just being weird. It's cardboard."

It's sad when someone's daughter acts more like an adult than her father and all of his friends.