Funny Things Kids Say

kook · 03-17-2004, 12:32 PM

Kinda gross, but the parents will appreciate this one.

My oldest son comes into the room one night holding out his index finger and whinning a bit. Well, I had heard a noise a few seconds before, so I assume he has hit his finger or something. Instinctively I lean down and kiss it and ask if he hurt his finger. "No" he says, "I had it in my bottom"!!! Ain't enough soap and mouthwash in the world, let me tell you.

Gracie Love · 03-17-2004, 05:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kook

Kinda gross, but the parents will appreciate this one.

My oldest son comes into the room one night holding out his index finger and whinning a bit. Well, I had heard a noise a few seconds before, so I assume he has hit his finger or something. Instinctively I lean down and kiss it and ask if he hurt his finger. "No" he says, "I had it in my bottom"!!! Ain't enough soap and mouthwash in the world, let me tell you.

That sounds like my oldest. He does stuff like that.

**Leboman** · 03-19-2004, 07:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kook

Kinda gross, but the parents will appreciate this one.

My oldest son comes into the room one night holding out his index finger and whinning a bit. Well, I had heard a noise a few seconds before, so I assume he has hit his finger or something. Instinctively I lean down and kiss it and ask if he hurt his finger. "No" he says, "I had it in my bottom"!!! Ain't enough soap and mouthwash in the world, let me tell you.

That was....well....nasty.

Locke · 03-19-2004, 11:53 PM

This is straight from Church. It was a children's service. A bunch of kids went up to the front, and one of my friends who is in charge of running it was in front of the entire congregation talking to a bunch of little kids about the Incarnation.

You know, the Holy Spirit comes down upon Mary and she conceives.

Well, my friend is going along the usual question and answer session, and asks what came down upon Mary before she conceived. Silence for a moment, and then a little girl says, in a sort of "you should know this already" voice, "A man."

Gracie Love · 03-20-2004, 06:43 PM

This is kinda gross but funny. We were at a friend's house for Bible study tonight and Matthew (5) passed gas and one of the guys there asked what is that smell and Matthew dropped his pants and said it is my bobo see smell it. I was so embarrassed but I had to laugh. We then went into another room and had a little talk about why that was wrong on both levels. I wander about him sometimes.

**Leboman** · 03-21-2004, 09:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gracie Love

This is kinda gross but funny. We were at a friend's house for Bible study tonight and Matthew (5) passed gas and one of the guys there asked what is that smell and Matthew dropped his pants and said it is my bobo see smell it. I was so embarrassed but I had to laugh. We then went into another room and had a little talk about why that was wrong on both levels. I wander about him sometimes.

We're gonna have to pray for that kid a lot in the future, I can see it already.

Gracie Love · 04-02-2004, 01:01 AM

This isn't really what was said but what Ethan did.

So it is once again that time of year where people decide to play practical jokes on friends and loved ones. Well toddlers seem to just have a certain knack for this and the timing it just to perfect to be a coincidence.

It was April fools day in 2004 and it was an evening like any other evening. We ate dinner and the John bathed the boys. I went in to sit with Matthew while John took Ethan to get a diaper on. As John and Ethan were leaving the bathroom, I joked that Ethan was trying to poop. We laughed but John carried Ethan off to his room as usual. When they returned to the bathroom, I noticed that Ethan's diaper had been tampered with. It was a little looser than normal. Then Ethan was walking which is a fairly new achievement for him, His diaper started to slowly creep down further and further. The typical jokes about plumbers crack were exchanged by John and I. Then I grabbed my camera and took a few pictures, you know for blackmail when he brings girlfriends over to the house later. In the process of taking a few shots Ethan and the diaper decided to just get rid of that pesky diaper all together. About that time John noticed a dark shadow on the inside of that diaper. Ethan left John a little surprise. Then I noticed that there was a suspicious dark spot on Ethan's behind. John took the diaper to the trash and I tried to keep Ethan from sticking his behind to furniture (which is a new pastime for him, he thinks he has to put his hiney on everything. Must be a marking of territory thing.). As John handed me the wet wipes and a new clean diaper Ethan escaped and sat of the floor I just finished mopping right before dinner. Low and behold there was a brown "kiss mark" on the floor. So John wiped that up, while I changed Ethan. It is really funny because through this whole incident Ethan was giggling and laughing (at us). I think he planned this (ha ha). This day shall live on in infamy as the Day of the Great Diaper Incident of 2004.

I hope you all enjoyed the story. Enjoy. I hope it gives you a little giggle.

DavidFrank · 04-02-2004, 07:34 PM

My litttle guy, Andrew, almost 4, really likes Freezy pops, the "Hulk" kind. Lately when he asks for one we ask him what color. Well, he opens the waist band of his pants or shorts and looks at the color of the cartoon characters on his underwear. If the writting or caracters are in blue, he says "blue" and so on.

He also asks very personal anatomical questions at "just the right time"

Take Care

df

Jozeca · 04-05-2004, 12:47 PM

I have two little cousins- Jace, who is 3 and Logan, who is 6 or 7. A few weeks ago, Jace told his parents (holding up fingers on both hands), "when I'm this big, madie and I are going to get married." Logan looked at him in total disgust and responded, "No, you can't... you have to be at least 15!" Needless to say, his parents were quite suprised.

theRat · 05-08-2004, 05:48 PM

I don't have kids..but boy am I around them a lot!

My first memory of a kid saying something funny was of a little boy in children's ministry at my church. My mom was teaching about a king coming to visit and that women were preparing for him. So she asked the kids what they would do when the king got there. The little girls all said, "we'd kiss him and make him stuff." But one little boy spoke up and said, "I'd shoot him!"

I also know another boy who, as we were watching a movie grabs my chest and goes, "My mommy has one of these!" yes, humiliation ensued.

There is a three year old little boy in my church, and he says to his friend Gracie that, "when I marry you I'm gonna start brushing my teeth. But I have to be potty trained first."

I love little kids...except for when they lick you. [cough]

swiminfast · 05-08-2004, 10:11 PM

my cousins, isaac, almost 5, and caleb, 3 were having a discussion about me, and caleb said i was too big to be in swim lessons to which isaac replys, "ya caleb! shes a grown up! like.....11!"and caleb was like, "oooh yeah. i remember now."

lol.....(i'm 17)

theRat · 05-09-2004, 06:36 PM

Kids are great for humbling (or humiliating) you aren't they? The things that pop out of their mouths...whoa. Hehehe.

I guess at 5 and 3 it would seem like 11 is a big age eh?

Wheatmeister · 05-09-2004, 10:50 PM

A guy in the church I went to when I was in high school owns a funeral home. He's got two boys, and the older one used to spend time with him in the basement while he got bodies ready for viewing. So one day someone asked Ethan(who was 3 at the time) what his daddy did. He thought about it really hard for a minute then said, "My daddy makes dead people look alive again." I told his dad that needed to be on all of his business cards. He'd get lots of business!

DavidFrank · 05-18-2004, 09:31 PM

My 4 year old is trying to read and tell stories all by himself. When he reads Winnie the Pooh, he calls Pooh "Poop", so his mom and I find it very funny and try to control ourselves when he is reading.

Take Care
df