[Shekinah]

Scarlet Robe

The serpent venom in the betrayer’s kiss
The murderous coalition of religious men
With satan against Him
The sarcastic mockery of Herod
The groveling cowardice of Pilate
Gethsemane, with its first breaking of that direst storm
With ever shuddered over a soul
See that exemplary Man and the deep

The crowd chanted over again with a bestial rhythm, “CRUCIFY HIM”
Pilate, overwhelmed by the passion of the mob
Turned Jesus Christ over to the soldiers
Dressed Him in a scarlet robe and a crown of thorns
One by one they began to spit and mock Him
Leather thongs beat Jesus upon His bare back
Blood poured down, forming a puddle
They led Him out to the place of the Skull

The billows of unknowable anguish came upon Him
The horrors of the deep darkness enveloped Him
Up on the wooden pole Jesus was swung skyward
Fell with sickening, flesh tearing jolt into its hole
Jesus was hanging by the nails in suspended agony
As passerbys paused to watch and ridicule
Round Jesus below indifferent soldiers gambled for the scarlet robe
While His enemies smirked in satisfaction at his agony

Life, death, each breath now a blaze of agony
Life, death, each breath now a blaze of agony
To be pinioned up there in public shame and torture
Is a matter of life and death

Twelve O’clock, grim darkness blocked out the SUN
A hush fell among the people
Three O’clock, Jesus convulsed and cried out
ELOI, ELOI, LAMA SABACHANI
A loud triumphant cry came from the cross
Jesus jerked and slumped in relaxation
Against the se brutal iron nails
Oh yeah, He’s finished His work, with a PRICE

On the third day, Jesus rose in power
Holding the keys of hell and death
Displaying His love for us by His scarred hands
Freeing us who once was bounded by slavery
Bringing us forth the hope for eternal salvation
Given us the choice to accept His free gift
Gave us the power to do wonders in His name
Hallelujah, AMEN! Thank you, Jesus for Your Blood!

[just_a_friend]

Originally Posted by Shekinah

Scarlet Robe

All I can say is BEAUTIFUL!

[Ayria]

The serpent venom in the betrayer’s kiss
The murderous coalition of religious men
With satan against Him
The sarcastic mockery of Herod
The groveling cowardice of Pilate
Gethsemane, with its first breaking of that direst storm
With ever shuddered over a soul
See that exemplary Man and the deep

ok i love the beginning..the first and last lines are great. just maybe put some punctuation in so it doesn't seem like one big run-on sentence.

The crowd chanted over again with a bestial rhythm, “CRUCIFY HIM”
Pilate, overwhelmed by the passion of the mob
Turned Jesus Christ over to the soldiers
Dressed Him in a scarlet robe and a crown of thorns
One by one they began to spit and mock Him
Leather thongs beat Jesus upon His bare back
Blood poured down, forming a puddle
They led Him out to the place of the Skull

nice.

The billows of unknowable anguish came upon Him
The horrors of the deep darkness enveloped Him
Up on the wooden pole Jesus was swung skyward
Fell with sickening, flesh tearing jolt into its hole
Jesus was hanging by the nails in suspended agony
As passerbys paused to watch and ridicule
Round Jesus below indifferent soldiers gambled for the scarlet robe
While His enemies smirked in satisfaction at his agony

nice. i like your description. again, just add some punctuation.

Life, death, each breath now a blaze of agony
Life, death, each breath now a blaze of agony
To be pinioned up there in public shame and torture
Is a matter of life and death

nice, i like the repitition.

Twelve O’clock, grim darkness blocked out the SUN
A hush fell among the people
Three O’clock, Jesus convulsed and cried out
ELOI, ELOI, LAMA SABACHANI
A loud triumphant cry came from the cross
Jesus jerked and slumped in relaxation
Against the se brutal iron nails
Oh yeah, He’s finished His work, with a PRICE

i just don't like the "oh yeah." love ther est.

On the third day, Jesus rose in power
Holding the keys of hell and death
Displaying His love for us by His scarred hands
Freeing us who once was bounded by slavery
Bringing us forth the hope for eternal salvation
Given us the choice to accept His free gift
Gave us the power to do wonders in His name
Hallelujah, AMEN! Thank you, Jesus for Your Blood!

good. i really like this, you did a good job

[GRibbit]

Originally Posted by Shekinah

Scarlet Robe

The serpent venom in the betrayer’s kiss
The murderous coalition of religious men
With satan against Him
The sarcastic mockery of Herod
The groveling cowardice of Pilate
Gethsemane, with its first breaking of that direst storm
With ever shuddered over a soul
See that exemplary Man and the deep

The crowd chanted over again with a bestial rhythm, “CRUCIFY HIM”
Pilate, overwhelmed by the passion of the mob
Turned Jesus Christ over to the soldiers
Dressed Him in a scarlet robe and a crown of thorns
One by one they began to spit and mock Him
Leather thongs beat Jesus upon His bare back
Blood poured down, forming a puddle
They led Him out to the place of the Skull

The billows of unknowable anguish came upon Him
The horrors of the deep darkness enveloped Him
Up on the wooden pole Jesus was swung skyward
Fell with sickening, flesh tearing jolt into its hole
Jesus was hanging by the nails in suspended agony
As passerbys paused to watch and ridicule
Round Jesus below indifferent soldiers gambled for the scarlet robe
While His enemies smirked in satisfaction at his agony

Life, death, each breath now a blaze of agony
Life, death, each breath now a blaze of agony
To be pinioned up there in public shame and torture
Is a matter of life and death

Twelve O’clock, grim darkness blocked out the SUN
A hush fell among the people
Three O’clock, Jesus convulsed and cried out
ELOI, ELOI, LAMA SABACHANI
A loud triumphant cry came from the cross
Jesus jerked and slumped in relaxation
Against the se brutal iron nails
Oh yeah, He’s finished His work, with a PRICE

On the third day, Jesus rose in power
Holding the keys of hell and death
Displaying His love for us by His scarred hands
Freeing us who once was bounded by slavery
Bringing us forth the hope for eternal salvation
Given us the choice to accept His free gift
Gave us the power to do wonders in His name
Hallelujah, AMEN! Thank you, Jesus for Your Blood!

Wow...good! I really enjoyed your choices of words, they really helped with the imagry and keeping hold of the viewer's attention throughout the whole poem. Although, I feel like I'm reading it straight out of the Bible, which isn't bad, but I'd like to see maybe a different POV. Maybe one of a child watching this all play out.
Anyway, good job.