[just_a_friend]

Ashamed to admit it
Too tired to cry
That he can't fake life
Despite the good try.

"I am who I am.
What I am, you hate,
Although, look at you
Are you all that great?"

"I'm a man just like you.
We could wear the same clothes,
But inside I'm still different."
A secret he knows.

The father, disgusted.
His mother cries tears.
He hides from the crowd
His innermost fears.

The judgement is harsh.
All eyes look to scorn
This beautiful man
What nature has born.

He said, "Life isn't easy
When the rules are laid."
He wanted to follow them, but,
"It's just not how I'm made."

Life ain't always fair.
You're a pre-packaged deal,
The whispers and gossip,
How it makes you feel.

So, love, it's ok
To cry out your sorrow
Each day you step closer
To that eternal tomorrow.

[Ayria]

Ashamed to admit it
Too tired to cry
That he can't fake life
Despite the good try.

good-catchy beginning. it rhymes

"I am who I am.
What I am, you hate,
Although, look at you
Are you all that great?"

nice...

"I'm a man just like you.
We could wear the same clothes,
But inside I'm still different."
A secret he knows.

good again

The father, disgusted.
His mother cries tears.
He hides from the crowd
His innermost fears.

i really like this part. nice last line.

The judgement is harsh.
All eyes look to scorn
This beautiful man
What nature has born.

good.

He said, "Life isn't easy
When the rules are laid."
He wanted to follow them, but,
"It's just not how I'm made."

i like this part too...yeah why am i critquing this when there's nothing to fix? lol

Life ain't always fair.
You're a pre-packaged deal,
The whispers and gossip,
How it makes you feel.

ooh i really like this part. i love the 2nd line.

So, love, it's ok
To cry out your sorrow
Each day you step closer
To that eternal tomorrow.

good. good ending good job again.

[GRibbit]

Originally Posted by just_a_friend

Ashamed to admit it
Too tired to cry
That he can't fake life
Despite the good try.

First two lines are ok. The last two...just dont seem to fit as nicely as they should.

"I am who I am.
What I am, you hate,
Although, look at you
Are you all that great?"

A bit blunt but good. I'm not so much for rhyming but good.

"I'm a man just like you.
We could wear the same clothes,
But inside I'm still different."
A secret he knows.

Mm this is ok, it doesn't flow though, the second line seems out of place. I understand what's being said, but the line in itself just doesn't fit.

The father, disgusted.
His mother cries tears.
He hides from the crowd
His innermost fears.

Good. Simple, but good.

The judgement is harsh.
All eyes look to scorn
This beautiful man
What nature has born.

Ok. You're starting to lose my interest though.

He said, "Life isn't easy
When the rules are laid."
He wanted to follow them, but,
"It's just not how I'm made."

Life ain't always fair.
You're a pre-packaged deal,
The whispers and gossip,
How it makes you feel.

So, love, it's ok
To cry out your sorrow
Each day you step closer
To that eternal tomorrow.

I like the last stanza, but the rest lost my interst. There's no substance and it seems more a mix and match of words that rhyme. This is just my opinion though. You're a talented writer, this just needs some work and spice Keep it up.