Addicted to girls

guest25 · 09-04-2001, 09:14 PM

Hey everyone. I have a problem. I am addicted to looking at girls on the net. Not porno, but just pics like swimsuits,etc. I try to stop but I can't! I know this may sound stupid and peverted, but I thought I would post this and see what you all say! I dont want this to interfere with God and me!! I need help! Thanks.

Justa Graze · 09-04-2001, 09:18 PM

pray.

anytime you feel like you want to go and look, just start praying. put your focus on God instead of the girls.

SnapCase · 09-04-2001, 09:43 PM

Prayer is the first thing to do.

Heres something that helped me get through this. Which by the way is still a struggle..but I'm able to deal with it 200% better.

Think of it this way.

When you start to look at girls on the internet..or even in real life ask yourself this question: "What good is it looking at this girl? I can't physically ever have her. What good is it?? I'm never going to see her...touch her...whats the point???" Do you see what I'm getting at?? It worked for me. Hopefully you can apply this to yourself. It kinda just made sense to me. Hope it helps ya!

-Dj

Blindman · 09-05-2001, 02:17 AM

I realized about a month ago that I had a problem ery similar to yours: not looking at girls, but thinking. Fantasizing. Impure thoughts. Whatever you want to call it. I realized that, for instance, when I'm bored in class I'll start daydreaming about some more interesting situation, or when I'm just lying in bed unable to get to sleep, or when I'm on a long car/bus/plane ride, or whatever.

And I knew that "anyone who looks at a woman with lust in his heart has committed adultery with her," so I knew that those sort of thoughts are wrong. So I prayed to God one night to keep me from the temptation to think about that type of thing.

Except my prayer wasn't answered right away, because immediately after I stopped praying those demons that had been plaguing me decided to show me just how much control they had over me, and they started bringing all those thoughts back into my head again. They wouldn't let me stop thinking and they wouldn't let me get to sleep. Finally it was 4:30 in the morning and I hadn't slept at all, and in desperation I prayed to God "Don't let them oppress me anymore," and told those demons, "In the name of Jesus Christ leave me alone."

And since then, the temptation is still here but the addiction is gone. I've managed to purge my mind of that sort of thought, and I'm glad that I've managed to do so. But I've been left realizing how powerful the demons that tempt us can be, and how dangerous it can be to give in to their suggestions even a little bit, and yet how awesome our God is and how easily he can drive that darkness away when we sincerely call out to him and try to change.

I hope that helps, and I hope it makes sense.

blue_hippo · 09-05-2001, 03:18 AM

I think it is just normal for every guy to want to look at girls. Even I do that. What is wrong here is what happens afterwards. What we think, what we fantasize, what we do in the privacy of our room after looking at these pics are the problem.

I admit that I once was like that. Every now and then I still get the urge to look at them. Sometimes I win, sometimes I fall.

There are a few steps to stop this. First, as everyone has said: Prayer. I don't think we can look at these pics and pray at the same time.

Second, get an accountability partner. Everytime you feel like sinning, just call him. Ask him to talk to you. I believe after talking for half an hour, you would forget about those girls.

Thirdly (a more drastic one), stop the internet at home. Use it in public places like cafes, where ppl are around. I did this before, and it helped greatly.

Many times we tend to be holy: Pray, pray and pray. But sometimes, we have to be practical. Action.

God does not tempt us beyond what we can bear. He is also faithful: He will provide a way out.

Peter · 09-05-2001, 08:14 AM

My pastor has talked about temptation and sin a lot lately and says one of the dumb things we do is dwell on the sin by thinking and saying "I musn't do that" "I musn't be thinking of that" - all the while dwelling on the thing that you don't want to do - and 9 times out of ten we end up doing it - like someone on a diet - saying to themselves "I shouldn't eat that cake" "cake is bad" it's all about the "cake!" rather than focusing on the good things "vegetables are good" - get my point? I know............. it's late.................. I should go to bed.

PwrChord · 09-05-2001, 08:56 AM

Oh check this idea out:

Lots of the time it's just the net at home being a MAJOR temptation with it's ease and silence. So some good advice would just be to cut the net off at the router with a shiny pair of scissors (after unplugging the power that is). But what if you use the net for so many other things besides pr0n that to cut it off would be insane? I use the net to find guitar tabs and lessons, buy movie tickets, do heavy-duty research, talk to friends around the country (CGR

), and even look up bible verses wicked fast. And all without having to wait my turn or sign-in/sign-out like at my town library.

The answer to this dilema is net nanny software. Along my highway of surfing I come across many ads for programs like these. They block out websites based on keywords in their META tags (which they need to show up on search engines and thus generate traffic), specified or taboo words in the site's URL, and it's own internal database of known illegal or otherwise harmful sites.

All you gotta do is install some software (go to Download.com and search for net nanny and you should find lots of results, pick and choose), and then put a PW on it so whenever you try to go to that site, you'll get a blank screen. The password is the trick though, there's two ways of going about putting one in place:

1) If you live with someone who you've shared your problem with and is willing to help you, have them think up of a password and put it in. This way if you find yourself needing to do research on breast cancer (www.breastcancer.org perhaps), this 3rd party can put the password in, you can specify that this site in question is ok to view, put the password back on and you're good to go.

2) If you live alone, go into notepad or MS Word and without going nuts or making notes, mash your palm across the keyboard and you'll get a random meaningless (and unguessable) password. Because you have to put it in twice however, just select it all, and copy-and-paste it into the password fields.

Now I know that no program is full proof. If my folks ever tried to put that software on my machine, I would be past it in 5 to 10 minutes flat...just call it lots of experience. Even for the unseasoned user, a good half hour or 45 mins of snooping and prodding around that registry could probably render the program useless. The beauty of this process is in the time it would take someone to crack the program open, you got your conscience gnawing at you. Suddenly you get a hold of yourself, X out of the program's folder, and pray for God's intervention for gaining control once more. Again, this isn't a full proof method, but I'll wager it's 100x easier than being swept away in the moment, letting your fingers guide your net experience with a lustful mind, and falling again (stupid me...).

Hope this info is of use to you, or someone like you.

maadio · 09-05-2001, 05:41 PM

I'm with ya dude... only I've gone a lot further than swimsuits...

The important issue is to PRAY, PRAY, and PRAY... the other suggestions are good too, but the only way to get through satan's forces is prayer...

SnapCase · 09-05-2001, 06:38 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by plaid_child
I'm with ya dude... only I've gone a lot further than swimsuits... The important issue is to PRAY, PRAY, and PRAY... the other suggestions are good too, but the only way to get through satan's forces is prayer...

Hmm...yes..thats partially correct. But we can't expect something to happen simply because we pray for it to. God expects us to make effort on our part as well.

09-05-2001, 08:50 PM

Just think: "What if Jesus saw me doing this???"
Guess what?? He already does!!

You've gotta get rid of it, that's not too hard for a few days, maybe a week.
But when you get rid of it, you have to fill that with something else! How about this: Whenever you get that urge to look at pictures of girls, shut off the computer and go read your Bible!!!!!

Hey, this works for me, i understand what you're going through!!
With His love,
Mark

Nate · 09-06-2001, 09:06 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by guest25
I am addicted to looking at girls on the net. Not porno, but just pics like swimsuits,etc.

What's the difference???? Ok, so the girls you're looking at have a couple square inches of clothing on..... big whoop! If you're still thinking the same thoughts....... you're doing wrong. To me, it might as well be pornography. You've got to stop thinking what you're doing is any better than looking at porn....... because it's not!
Ok.... you've already got past the first step... realizing you've got a problem. Now you've got to start REALLY caring about that problem..... you've got to WANT to stop. It seems like you're kinda to that point......... so what's the next logical step????

STOP!!!!!

Yep.... that's it..... don't make excuses.... "It's so hard to stop", "Well, I'm not really sure if it's wrong", etc, etc...... NO!! Don't make any excuses about it...... just stop. I realize that may seem kinda impossible...... but God has promised that he will provide a way out of EVERY temptation....

1 Corinthians 10:13
"No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man, but God is faithful and will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able; but with the tempation will also make a way of escape, so that you may be able to bear it"

That's a pretty reassuring verse........ first off, like many people here have said.... your problem is not unique... I can't say that I've struggled with it personally, but you've got to know that there are other people out there with your same problem!!! Find one of these many guys in here who has said they struggle with the same thing.... and talk to them!! I'm sure most of them wouldn't mind if you IM'd them once in awhile! Or find someone in your church who understands.... any way you do it..... find SOMEBODY to talk to about it! Ok... second thing...... "God is faithful"!!!! Whoa now.....that's pretty awesome. Think about it.... think how many times you've looked at those pictures...... guess how many times God has left you or given up on you???? NONE!! God still loves you and wants to help you! Ok.... next thing..... God will not allow you to be "tempted beyond what you are able".......... this simply means that even though you may feel like it's impossible to stop..... God hasn't put anything in your way that is impossible to overcome. The fourth thing is..... God has provided the way to overcome it!!.... It says He has made a "way of escape"..... I'm not sure what that way of escape may be for you...... but rest assured, it's there. There's been tons of suggestions on here about how to get past this........ listen to them!! My personal suggestion would be to just stop...... yeah, that's it..... next time you go to one of those sites, just say "Hey, I'm not supposed to be here....... I'm leaving"...... it'll be hard.... but that's how I would do it. You already know you're not supposed to be doing this..... so remember that!! Also, I'd put a Bible right next to the computer...... as a constant reminder of God's presence and care! Anyway.... I don't speak from experience..... so my $.02 probably isn't very helpful..... but there it is! Hope it helps!

maadio · 09-06-2001, 02:01 PM

yeah... I once learned a trick from this great guy named luke who was goig through the same thing. He told me when I was still new to all this rejecting satan stuff that if I even start thinking in that direction, I need to distract my mind by doing something else with it. It doesn't matter what. For instance, I've counted the number of floorboards in a room. That's a good one... Also, reading things like the labels of orange juice cartons is good...

guest25 · 09-06-2001, 03:53 PM

Thanks KeyboardFreak and everyone else! Today I have made a commitment to stay pure in my thought and "internet life" for the next week. Then hopefully this will turn into a habit for my life. I really agree with Keyboard Freak the most, especially because he was straight forward:

"What's the difference???? Ok, so the girls you're looking at have a couple square inches of clothing on..... big whoop! If you're still thinking the same thoughts....... you're doing wrong. To me, it might as well be pornography. You've got to stop thinking what you're doing is any better than looking at porn....... because it's not!"

Thanks a lot!

------------------------------------------------

To God Be ALL THE GLORY!!

ABSOLUTELY NOTHING can seperate us from the love of Christ Jesus.

SnapCase · 09-06-2001, 03:56 PM

Let me be the first to congratulate you! I'll be prayin for ya!

Nate · 09-06-2001, 11:18 PM

Wow..... I didn't think I'd actually help that much..... I was just telling it as I saw it! Anyway..... I'll try to remember to keep you in my prayers..... but rest assured, whether anyone personally prays for you or not.... God is STILL with you and STILL loves you!!! I'm glad we could help you....... like many have shared.... this is a common problem. I just wish more people would be as open about it as you were. Honesty is ALWAYS the best way!