3hundredsomething Wise sayings

Jjesus Freak · 12-18-2003, 07:23 PM

Words of Wisdom:
1)Don't chew with your tongue hanging out
2)There are no bad advisers, only bad advise
3)Don't fart in the wind
4)You can Pick your friends, you can pick your nose, but you can't pick your friend's nose
5)Diarhea runs in your genes
6)Don't try to fart, you might poop your pants
7)If your daughter says this, you may have a problem. "Daddy, why doesn't this magnet pick up this floppy disk?"
8)He who laughs last thinks slowest
9)the lottery is just a tax on people who are bad at math
10)Artificial Intelligence usually beats real stupidity
11)Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine
12)Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs
13)3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't
14)A conclusion is simply the place where you got tired of thinking
15)Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'... till you can find a rock
16)When one synchronized swimmer drowns, the rest have to drown, too
17)Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.
18)Women get mad, some get histerical, but the worst get historical
19)Computers are not intelligent. They only think they are
20)Programmer - A red-eyed, mumbling mammal capable of conversing with inanimate objects
21)If we could just get everyone to close their eyes and visualize world peace for an hour, imagine how serene and quiet it would be until the looting started
22)A fly without wings would be called a walk
23)The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity
24)A truly wise man never plays leapfrog with a unicorn
25)The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the
average man can see better than he can think
26)Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on
society
27)Portion of US annual rainfall that falls in April:1/12
28)Average number of days a West German goes without washing his underwear: 7
29)Percentage of American men who say they would marry the same woman if they had it to do all over again:80%
30)% of American women who say they would marry the same man:50%
31)% of men who say they are happier after their divorce or separation: 58%
32)% of women who say they are happier after their divorce or separation: 85%
33)An eagle can kill a young deer and fly away with it
34)In the Caribbean there are oysters that can climb trees
35)Polar bears are left-handed
36)Proportional to their weight, men are stronger than horses
37)It is possible to lead a cow upstairs but not downstairs
38)Men get hiccups more often than women
39)Armadillos can be housebroken
40)Men do 29% of laundry each week. Only 7% of women trust their husbands to do it correctly
41)3 out of 4 of us store our dollar bills in rigid order with singles leading up to higher denominations
42)50% admit they regularly sneak food into movie theaters to avoid the high prices of snack foods
43)10% of us switch tags in the store to pay less for an item
44)69% eat the cake before the frosting
45)85% of us will eat Spam this year
46)53% of women will not leave the house without makeup on
47)62% of us pop our zits
48)46.5% of men say they ALWAYS put the seat down after they've used the toilet, yet all women claim to ALWAYS find it up
49)45.2% pee in the shower
50)44.9% pee in the ocean
51)28.1% pee in the pool
52)As a general rule, don't solve puzzles that open portals to Hell
53)NEVER check if the killer is dead
54)Don't eat the yellow snow
55)When it appears that you have killed the monster, NEVER check to see if it's really dead
56)If you find that your house is built upon or near a cemetery, was once a church that was used for black masses, had previous inhabitants who went mad or committed suicide or died in some horrible fashion, or had inhabitants who performed necrophilia or satanic practices in your house move away immediately.
57)Never read a book of demon summoning aloud, even as a joke
58)Do not search the basement, especially if the power has just gone out.
59)If your children speak to you in Latin or any other language which they should not know, or if they speak to you using a voice which is other than their own, shoot them immediately. It will save you a lot of grief in the long run. NOTE: It will probably take several rounds to kill them, so be prepared.
60)If you're searching for something which caused a noise and find out that it's just the cat, leave the room immediately if you value your life.
61)Do not take anything from the dead.
62)If you find a town which looks deserted, it's probably for a reason. Take the hint and stay away.
63)If you're running from the monster, expect to trip or fall down at least twice, more if you are of the female persuasion. Also note that, despite the fact that you are running and the monster is merely shambling along, it's still moving fast enough to catch up with you.
64)If your companions suddenly begin to exhibit uncharacteristic behavior such as hissing, fascination for blood, glowing eyes, increasing hairiness, and so on, get away from them as fast as possible.
65)Stay away from certain geographical locations, some of which are listed here: Amityville, Elm Street, Transylvania, Nilbog (God help you if you recognize this one), the Bermuda Triangle, or any small town in Maine.
66)If your car runs out of gas at night, do not go to the nearby deserted-looking house to phone for help.
67)Beware of strangers bearing tools such as chainsaws, staple guns, hedge trimmers, electric carving knives, combines, lawnmowers, butane torches, soldering irons, band saws, or any device made from deceased companions.
68)If you are an Evil Overlord, make your ventilation ducts too small to crawl through
69)If you are an Evil Overlord, when the rebel leader challenges me to fight one-on-one and asks, "Or are you afraid without your armies to back you up?" your reply should be, "No, just sensible."
70)If you are an Evil Overlord, When you've captured my adversary and he says, "Look, before you kill me, will you at least tell me what this is all about?" say, "No." and shoot him.
71)If you are an Evil Overlord, don't include a self-destruct mechanism unless absolutely necessary. If it is necessary, it should not be a large red button labelled "Danger: Do Not Push".
72)If you are an Evil Overlord, don't ever employ any device with a digital countdown. If you find that such a device is absolutely unavoidable, set it to activate when the counter reaches 117 and the hero is just putting his plan into operation.
73)If you are an Evil Overlord, design all doomsday machines yourself. If you must hire a mad scientist to assist you, make sure that he is sufficiently twisted to never regret his evil ways and seek to undo the damage he's caused.
74)The most common name in the world is Mohammed.
75)The glue on Israeli postage stamps is certified kosher.
76)Mel Blanc (the voice of Bugs Bunny) was allergic to carrots
77)Donald Duck's middle name is Fauntleroy.
78)More people are killed annually by donkeys than die in air crashes.
79)The very first bomb dropped by the Allies on Berlin during World War II killed the only elephant in the Berlin Zoo.
80)Duelling is legal in Paraguay as long as both parties are registered blood donors.
81)It was discovered on a space mission that a frog can throw up. The frog throws up it's stomach first, so the stomach is dangling out of it's mouth. Then the frog uses it's forearms to dig out all of the stomach's contents and then swallows the stomach back down again.
82)A 'jiffy' is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second.
83)The term, "It's all fun and games until someone loses an eye" is from Ancient Rome. The only rule during wrestling matches was, "No eye gouging." Everything else was allowed, but the only way to be disqualified is to poke someone's eye out.
84)The phrase "rule of thumb" is derived from an old English law which stated that you couldn't beat your wife with anything wider than your thumb.
85)"I am." is the shortest complete sentence in the English language.
86)Ballroom dancing is a major at Brigham Young University.
87) The longest word in the Oxford English Dictionary is
"floccinaucinihilipilification," which means "the act of estimating
as worthless."
88) Montpelier, Vermont is the only U.S. state capital without a
McDonalds.
89) The Chinese ideogram for 'trouble' symbolizes 'two women living under
one roof'.
90) If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
91) Psychiatrists say that one out of four people are mentally ill. Check
three friends. If they're ok...
92) It has recently been discovered that research causes cancer in laboratory
rats.
93)Nothing manufactured can be 100% natural. I have never seen shampoo growing on a tree.
94)They have square watermelons in Japan...they stack better.
95)Your nose and ears never stop growing.
96)Mark Twain didn't graduate from elementary school.
97)Only animal besides human that can get sunburn: pig
98)City with the highest per capita viewership of television evangelists: Washington DC
99)Amount American Airlines saved in 1987 by eliminating one olive from each salad served first class: $40,000
100)you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive
101)phonetic isn't spelled the way it sounds
102)cigarettes are sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there
103)A 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, and there locks on the doors
104)nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, yet TEFLON sticks to the pan
105)they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM
106)we drive on parkways and park on driveways
107)when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo
108)They have that little indestructible black box that is used on planes, Yet the planes are made of a different substance
109)stop worrying about business and start playing golf
110)Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.
111)Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.
112)Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
113)Better to understand a little than to misunderstand a lot.
114)We have enough youth, how about a fountain of SMART?
115)Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.
116)For people who like peace and quiet: a phoneless cord.
117)If you use up all your sick days, call in dead.
118)Diplomacy - the art of letting someone have your way.
119)If things get any worse, I'll have to ask you to stop helping me.
120)the Shin is a device for finding furniture in the dark.
121)An Upgrade just is Taking old bugs out and puting new ones in.
122)the information superhighway has no rest stops
123)If debugging is the process of removing bugs, then programming must be the process of putting them in.
124)Gun control is being able to hit your target
125)Fight crime, shoot back
126)The worst day of fishing is better than the best day working.
127)Work is for people who don't know how to fish
128)Crime wouldn't pay if the government ran it.
129)Don't steal. The government hates competition.
130)A common Texan Quote: Welcome to Texas, now go home.
131)A fool and his money are my best friends
132)A fool and his money are soon partying
133)Bright red meat is good for you. Fuzzy green meat is not good for you.
134)It's not how you pick your nose, it's where you put the boogers.
135)Another texas Quote: If there is a tourist season, why can't we shoot them
136)Indians discovered Columbus
137)Never Underestimate The Power Of Stupid People In Large Groups
138)Hire Teenagers while they still know everything!
139)Next time you think you're perfect, try walking on water.
140)One who farts in church sits in his own pew.
141)Hate Coffee--It Keeps You Awake at Work.
142)There was nothing Great about the Depression.
143)Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
144)Boats gently drift across ponds exactly the way bowling balls wouldn't.
145)McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty Bag filled with vegetable soup.
146)What not to tell a girl: Your hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze.
147)Also, What not to tell a girl: Your eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the center.
148)A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.
149)A penny saved is ridiculous.
150)Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.
151)Don't force it, get a larger hammer.
152)Entropy isn't what it used to be.
153)History does not repeat itself, historians merely repeat each other.
154)It works better if you plug it in.
155)Jury: Twelve people who determine which client has the better lawyer.
156)Let not the sands of time get in your lunch.
157)He's not dead, he's electroencephalographically challenged.
158)Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.
159)A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.
160)Nothing is fool-proof to a sufficiently talented fool.
161)Why do people give each other flowers? To celebrate various important occasions, they're killing living creatures. Why restrict it to plants? "Sweetheart, let's make up. Have this deceased squirrel."
162)Save money: Rotate your own tires, its the basic principle behind the wheel.
163)No wonder they couldn't put Humpty together again, they used all the king's HORSES and all the king's men.Horses cant put something delicate like that back together again!
164)Don't put carpeting on the lid of a toilet seat
165)Those signs that say "No animals allowed except for Seeing Eye Dogs?" Is that sign for the blind person or the dog?
167)Never slap a man who's chewing tobacco.
168)Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
169)Letting the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier then putting it back in.
171)If you think you're a person of some influence, try ordering somebody else's dog around.
172)There's two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither one works.
173)If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop digging.
174)Don't squat with your spurs on.
175)Always drink upstream from the herd.
176)Never miss a good chance to shut up.
177)There are three kinds of people: The ones that learn by reading, The few who learn by observation, and the rest of them who have to touch the fire to see for themselves if it's really hot.
178)If it isn't broke, don't fix it.
179)The word "politics": 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.
180)pizzas get to your house faster than an ambulance.
181)there are handicap parking places in front of skating rinks.
182)There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar.
183)All 50 states are listed across the top of the Lincoln Memorial on
the back of the $5 bill.
184)Almonds are a member of the peach family.
185)wrong numbers are never busy
187)The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.
188)You can't have everything, where would you put it?
189)Latest survey shows that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the world's population.
190)If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.
191)The things that come to those that wait may be the things left by those who got there first.
192)Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
193)they report power outages on TV
194)feel sorry for Madonna's baby, having to grow without a last name.
195)The two biggest problems in America are making ends meet and making meetings end.
196)There isn't one contradiction in the Bible.
197)If reincarnation is true, who chooses who has to come back as the dung beetle?
198)Court: A place where 12 people who were too stupid to get out of jury duty decide your fate.
199)Good thing there was a fruit called 'orange', otherwise, what would we call the color?
200)blue and yellow make green, yet nothing makes blue or yellow.
201)IF the only difference between two crayon colors is the name, they shouldn't be colors.
202)Crayola is a company who gets payed create existing colors and rename them.
203)An apple a day would really get old.
204)A stitch in time is better than a stitch in the face
205)The grass is always greener...after I mow it
206)There are more people in Cobb County, Georgia than in the whole state of Wyoming.
207)Karaoke is Japaneese for tone-deaf.
208)The English word "celebrate" derives from the French word "celibataire," meaning "unmarried."
209)The French word "benjamin" means the youngest, like Benjamin in Jacob's family.
210)If the growth rate in Finland keeps going the way it is (more people dying than being born) then by the year 2090, there will be 2 Fins left.
211)It is impossible to give yourelf a papercut.
212)You cant force a sneeze.
213)Procrastinate now
214)Rehab is for quitters
215)West Virginia: One Million People, and 15 last names
216)STUPIDITY IS NOT A HANDICAP. Park elsewhere
217)DISCOURAGE INBREEDING - Ban Country Music
218)Time's fun when you're having flies...Kermit the Frog
219)A PICTURE IS WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS, but it uses up a thousand times the memory
220)Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana
221)HAM AND EGGS - A day's work for a chicken; A lifetime commitment for a pig
222)When in Kentucky, remember to Set your watch back 20 years
223)The trouble with life is there's no background music
224)Nyquil - The stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the- room-spinning medicine
225)Quoting one is plagiarism. Quoting many is research
226)Don't sweat petty things and don't pet sweaty things.
227)Never pet a burning dog.
228)Keep honking, I'm reloading.
229)Elephants are the only animal that can't jump.
230)People that know the least know it the loudest.
231)5/4 people have problems with fractions.
232)-Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated.
233)Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite.
234)The average person's left hand does 56% of the typing.
235)A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes.
236)There are more chickens than people in the world.
237)On a Canadian two dollar bill, the flag flying over the Parliament building is an American flag.
238)All of the clocks in the movie "Pulp Fiction" are stuck on 4:20.
239)"Dreamt" is the only English word that ends in the letters "mt".
240)Winston Churchill was born in a ladies' room during a dance.
241)Maine is the only state whose name is just one syllable.
242)There are only four words in the English language which end in "dous": tremendous, horrendous, stupendous,and hazardous.
243)Los Angeles' full name is "El Pueblo de Nuestra Senora la Reina de los Angeles de Porciuncula."
244)A cat has 32 muscles in each ear.
245)An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
246)Tigers have striped skin, not just striped fur.
247)The characters Bert and Ernie on Sesame Street were named after Bert the cop and Ernie the taxi driver in Frank Capra's "It's aWonderful Life."
248)A dragonfly has a life span of 24 hours.
249)The giant squid has the largest eyes in the world.
250)In England, the Speaker of the House is not allowed to speak.
251)Mr. Rogers is an ordained minister and was a sniper in Vietnam.
252)The average person falls asleep in seven minutes.
253)There are 336 dimples on a regulation golf ball.
254)Stewardesses" is the longest word that is typed with only the left hand.
255)Following 45 Words of Wisdom are actually the top 45 oxymorons: Act naturally
256)Found missing
257)Resident alien
258)Advanced BASIC
259)Genuine imitation
260)Airline food
261)Good grief
262)Same difference
263)Almost exactly
264)Government organization
265)Sanitary landfill
266)Alone together
267)Legally drunk
268)Silent scream
269)Living dead
270)Small crowd
271)Business ethics
272)Soft rock
273)Butt Head
274)Military Intelligence
275)Software documentation
276)New classic
277)Sweet sorrow
278)Childproof
279)"Now, then ..."
280)Synthetic natural gas
281)Passive aggression
282)Taped live
283)Clearly misunderstood
284)Peace force
285)Extinct Life
286)Temporary tax increase
287)Computer jock
288)Plastic glasses
289)Terribly pleased
290)Computer security
291)Political science
292)Tight slacks
293)Definite maybe
294)Pretty ugly
295)Twelve-ounce pound cake
296)Diet ice cream
297)Working vacation
298)Exact estimate
299)Microsoft Works
300)The term "the whole 9 yards" came from WWII fighter pilots in the SouthPacific. When arming their airplanes on the ground, the .50 caliber machine gun ammo belts measured exactly 27 feet, before being loaded into the fuselage. If the pilots fired all their ammo at a target, it got "the whole 9 yards."
301)The word "samba" means "to rub navels together."
302)The international telephone dialing code for Antarctica is 672.
303)Sherlock Holmes never said "Elementary, my dear Watson."
304)"I can't believe God put us on this earth to be ordinary"
-Lou Holtz
305)"They say time will make this all go away, but time, it has taken my tomorrows and turned them into yesterdays."
-Ben Harper
306)"Every heart that knows the love that God shows will walk into the sunset with a smile"
-Ed Cash
307)"Why do you look so sad and forsaken. When one door is closed, don't you know, another is open."
-Bob Marley
308)"We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope."
-Martin Luther King Jr.
309)"Without pain there is no desire to create".
-Maynard James Keenan
310)I do one sit up a day - I get up in the morning, that's one half. I lie down at night, that's the other half.
311)I want to die in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not screaming and yelling like the other passengers in the car.
312)People say i'm strange, does that make me a stranger?
313)"Snakes! I hate Snakes"
-Indiana Jones
314)"It's coming!!!"
"It's already here"
-Twister
315)"You saw a mig do a 9 g inverted dive?"
"Yeah"
"And just what were you doing up there?"
"Communicating"
-Top Gun
316)Who's more foolish: the fool, or the fool who follows him?
-Obi Wan Kenobi
317)Video games don't ruin kids. If Pac-Man ruined us as kids, we would all be running around in darkened rooms, eating magic pills and listening to repetitive electronic music.
318)How many fatalists does it take to change a light bulb?
None, why fight it?
319)How many existentialists does it take to change a lightbulb?
Two. One to change the lightbulb and one to observe how the lightbulb symbolizes an incandescent beacon of subjectivity in a netherworld of Cosmic Nothingness.
320)How many Natural Selectionists does it take to change a lightbulb?
Well actually, we won't even TRY to change the bulb. We will simply stop using the room that has the burned out bulb, and start using only rooms with FUNCTIONING bulbs. That way, over time, ....
321)WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?
Plato: For the greater good.
322)WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?
Karl Marx: It was a historical inevitability.
323)WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?
Machiavelli: So that its subjects will view it with admiration, as a chicken which has the daring and courage to boldly cross the road, but also with fear, for whom among them has the strength to contend with such a paragon of avian virtue? In such a manner is the princely chicken's dominion maintained.
324)WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?
Hippocrates: Because of an excess of light pink gooey stuff in its pancreas.
325)WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?
Jacques Derrida: Any number of contending discourses may be discovered within the act of the chicken crossing the road, and each interpretation is equally valid as the authorial intent can never be discerned, because structuralism is DEAD!
326)WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?
Thomas de Torquemada: Give me ten minutes with the chicken and I'll find out.
327)WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?
Timothy Leary: Because that's the only kind of trip the Establishment would let it take.
328)WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?
Douglas Adams: Forty-two.
329)WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?
Nietzsche: Because if you gaze too long across the Road, the Road gazes also across you.
330)WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?
B.F. Skinner: Because the external influences which had pervaded its sensorium from birth had caused it to develop in such a fashion that it would tend to cross roads, even while believing these actions to be of its own free will.
331)WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?
Carl Jung: The confluence of events in the cultural gestalt necessitated that individual chickens cross roads at this historical juncture, and therefore synchronicitously brought such occurrences into being.
332)WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?
Jean-Paul Sartre: In order to act in good faith and be true to itself, the chicken found it necessary to cross the road.
333)WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?
Ludwig Wittgenstein (Early): The possibility of "crossing" was encoded into the objects "chicken" and "road", and circumstances came into being which caused the actualization of this potential occurrence.
334)WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?
Ludwig Wittgenstein (Late): Because it had reached bedrock, and its spade was turned.
335)WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?
Albert Einstein: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road crossed the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.
336)WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?
Aristotle: To actualize its potential.
337)WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?
Buddha: If you ask this question, you deny your own chicken- nature.
338)WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?
Salvador Dali: The Fish.
339)WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?
Darwin: It was the logical next step after coming down from the trees.
340)WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?
Emily Dickinson: Because it could not stop for death.
341)WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?
Epicurus: For fun.
342)WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?
Ralph Waldo Emerson: It didn't cross the road; it transcended it.
343)WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?
Johann Friedrich von Goethe: The eternal hen-principle made it do it.
344)WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?
Ernest Hemingway: To die. In the rain.
345)WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?
Werner Heisenberg: We are not sure which side of the road the chicken was on, but it was moving very fast.
346)WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?
David Hume: Out of custom and habit.
347)WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?
Saddam Hussein: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
348)WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?
Pyrrho the Skeptic: What road?
349)WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?
The Sphinx: You tell me.
350)WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?
Henry David Thoreau: To live deliberately ... and suck all the marrow out of life.
351)WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?
Mark Twain: The news of its crossing has been greatly exaggerated.
352)WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?
Molly Yard: It was a hen!
353)WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?
Gene Roddenberry: To boldly go where no chicken ...
354)WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?
Zeno of Elea: To prove it could never reach the other side.
355)ketchup is good
365)"We could learn a lot from crayons: some are sharp, some are pretty, some are dull, some have weird names, and all are different colors...but they all have to learn to live in the same box."
-Anon.
366)"Don't marry a person you can live with, marry someone you cannot live without."
-Anon.
367)"I one armed man walks differently than a man with three arms...but a one legged man doesn't walk like either...because he doesn't walk."
368)"It's a CONSPIRACY"
370)"We are no longer the knights who say ne...we are the knights who say...icky icky zarum phum bing......"
-Knights who so previously said "ne"
374)Real courage is when you know you're licked before you begin, but you begin anyway.
375)The first sight of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left.
-The Chicago Tribune
376)If going to church makes you a Christian, then does going to a bakery make you a doughnut?
377)"when you lose small mind you free your life"
-system of a down
378)"freethinkers are dangerous"
-system of a down
379)"As a former fetus..I oppose abortion!"
-former fetus

maux · 12-18-2003, 07:52 PM

um, wow. i mean... wow.

**PianoMan** · 12-19-2003, 12:47 AM

Didn't read all (though I have read most of those before) but here is another:

"Don't argue with an idiot. They will bring you down to their level and beat you with their experience."

agrimes87 · 12-19-2003, 10:48 PM

i have another one:

"If you find you have enough free time on your hands to type OR read 379 phrases of wisdom on CGR, you're probably the one who needs it the most"