[nards]

Hi Rachel
How's life?
What have you been doing today?
Have a good one

[hapa_angel]

Didn't stay home today. The children were telepathically calling to me...... Mwah hah hah...

J/K

But yes, I went back. Just in time, too.... The little rascals had a small fight riiiight as the dismissal bell was about to ring. The child that previously choked another child and was suspended a few months ago for it- Boy #1- was messing around with the child who broke his leg during our field trip to the Academy of Sciences- Boy #2. Long story short, #1 pushed #2 into the girls' room just down the hall from our room; #2, with murder in his eyes, came back and pushed #1; fight broke out. I literally dove in-between them and pushed them off each other. They stopped pretty quickly. Some of their friends also helped me break it up, chiding #1 for fighting in the first place. I made sure not to blame one boy over than the other, since both of them were involved; however, a fight's a fight. Boy #1 was A-ok within a couple of minutes; Boy #2 was still trying to hide from the other kids when I left them in the yard.

*whew* Not very fun.

On a brighter note, I caught bigpirate online (since I not only unblocked him but put him on my buddylist) and we chatted for a few minutes. Hah! He is my church opposite!! He got saved at a Baptist church and now goes to an Assemblies of God one; I initially went to an AoG church but after they wouldn't quit gossiping, I left for my fellowship's church, which is... Baptist! How funny is that!

Currently digging up my old CD's and playing DJ on RealPlayer. I now have on my playlist... ::drumroll::
Understand- Jeremy Camp
Lord, Let Your Glory Fall- Matt Redman
Stein's Theme- Project 86 playing right this second
One-Armed Man- P86
Romans 12:1- Todd Agnew
Call To Worship- Matt Redman
Only One Thing- Todd Agnew
Where Angels Fear To Tread- Matt Redman

What a mix, huh? From hardcore rock to chill-out rock to worship ballads. I'm totally random like that. Maybe I should've thrown some pop in too just to even the mix out. Hah...

::going to post more poetry in this thread::

-Rachel

[SmileAndFollow]

Originally Posted by hapa_angel

But yes, I went back. Just in time, too.... The little rascals had a small fight riiiight as the dismissal bell was about to ring. The child that previously choked another child and was suspended a few months ago for it- Boy #1- was messing around with the child who broke his leg during our field trip to the Academy of Sciences- Boy #2. Long story short, #1 pushed #2 into the girls' room just down the hall from our room; #2, with murder in his eyes, came back and pushed #1; fight broke out. I literally dove in-between them and pushed them off each other. They stopped pretty quickly. Some of their friends also helped me break it up, chiding #1 for fighting in the first place. I made sure not to blame one boy over than the other, since both of them were involved; however, a fight's a fight. Boy #1 was A-ok within a couple of minutes; Boy #2 was still trying to hide from the other kids when I left them in the yard.

You got to love the little rascals...

I initially went to an AoG church but after they wouldn't quit gossiping, I left for my fellowship's church

Same exact thing happened with me. Although right now I go to an Evangelical Free church. I actually hardly ever go and am not really involved there at all, but they have a really good worship service so I usually just go to that. I wonder if all AofG's gossip like that... I left mine more for money handling issues, but gossip did play a part.

Currently digging up my old CD's and playing DJ on RealPlayer. I now have on my playlist... ::drumroll::
Understand- Jeremy Camp
Lord, Let Your Glory Fall- Matt Redman
Stein's Theme- Project 86 playing right this second
One-Armed Man- P86
Romans 12:1- Todd Agnew
Call To Worship- Matt Redman
Only One Thing- Todd Agnew
Where Angels Fear To Tread- Matt Redman

Lately Ive just put all of my Cursive cds and songs on one playlist and have just been listening to that, but now that you mentioned Project I might have to throw in some of them.

::going to post more poetry in this thread::

-Rachel

*Going to go look*

[bigpirate]

*whew* Not very fun.

How old were the boy's? You should have told them Santa Clause would beat them up if they didn't stop.

seriously, that is cool that you love the kids that much that you can't stay home from them... you will make a good soccer mom (the one that takes care of everyone elses kids too) which means I will be as far away from you as possible at all times! Little kids are cool when they are not in groups.

On a brighter note, I caught bigpirate online (since I not only unblocked him but put him on my buddylist) and we chatted for a few minutes. Hah! He is my church opposite!! He got saved at a Baptist church and now goes to an Assemblies of God one; I initially went to an AoG church but after they wouldn't quit gossiping, I left for my fellowship's church, which is... Baptist! How funny is that!

I offer you my religion name... Bapticostal.

What a mix, huh? From hardcore rock to chill-out rock to worship ballads. I'm totally random like that. Maybe I should've thrown some pop in too just to even the mix out. Hah...

Yeah... that is great! Kinda like a Skillet CD.

[hapa_angel]

Originally Posted by SmileAndFollow

You got to love the little rascals...

Yup.

Originally Posted by bigpirate

How old were the boy's? You should have told them Santa Clause would beat them up if they didn't stop.

Sorry, they're kinda too old. 8-10 year-olds know Santa is their parents, and if they don't... well, let's just say they're gonna be in for a big shock when they grow up.

Originally Posted by bigpirate

I offer you my religion name... Bapticostal.

LOL! FOCL!! ROFL!!!


Ow, my sides!
Whoooo...
thanx, I needed that.

Originally Posted by bigpirate

Yeah... that is great! Kinda like a Skillet CD.

Except now there's some Hoobastank mixed in. Hah...
I got the CD as an "early birthday gift" yesterday. (I'm never gonna get to unwrap anything at this rate!!!) Only $9.99 at Target. It was worth going out in the rain. That and my mom's stuff... and my new black camisole.

-Now the RealPlayer DJ list looks like:
Understand- Jeremy Camp
Lord, Let Your Glory Fall- Matt Redman
Only One Thing- Todd Agnew
Call To Worship- Matt Redman
Romans 12:1- Todd Agnew
Never There- Hoobastank
Stein's Theme- Project 86
One-Armed Man- P86
Out of Control- Hoobastank playing right this second
What Happened To Us?- Hoobastank
Escape- Hoobastank
Just One- Hoobastank
The Reason- Hoobastank
Unaffected- Hoobastank
Disappear- Hoobastank

Originally Posted by bigpirate

seriously, that is cool that you love the kids that much that you can't stay home from them... you will make a good soccer mom (the one that takes care of everyone elses kids too) which means I will be as far away from you as possible at all times! Little kids are cool when they are not in groups.

Oh dear... I hope not. "Soccer mom"- ugh. Hah.
Well, not a bunch of boys anyway. Girls I can stand for awhile because they love you to pieces and don't try to rip each other apart until they get to be teenagers. Boys... well, you read what happened Thursday.

_____________________________
Ok, diary time...

Oh yea, Thursday was my guitar's birthday. I got it one year ago that day. I totally forgot to put that down... but now it seems so insignificant compared to all the OTHER stuff starting from that night... My goodness, so much happened two days ago. I don't know how I can fully convey it all. I will start from that night...
I got off the internet and freed up the phone by 10:30-ish, so I called... I'll call him ****, because that's close enough to tell some people who it is (by the # of letters) and not enough that it's his name. (BTW, this is the guy I write my poems for... the one I'm wishing for 4 my bday, even. Hah . I told him I liked him waaaay back when I first did- 5 years ago, when we both were still in high school- my first year and his last.)
Anyway, we had about a 3-hour convo. It started off innocently enough, talking about kinda silly little nothings. We kept finishing one topic like always and then, I was being kinda silly that nite so I was suggesting changing topics by whatever popped into our mind. Well... he flipped it around and said it was my turn to think of something. Silly me, guess what the first thing I though of was. *argh* So I was playing my little guessing game again, the one I use to torture other unfortunate souls when I don't really wanna just come out and SAY something... Really bad habit, that.
So finally he gets close and we're at...
****: What is it? Is it me?
Me: umm..... Well....
****: Okay, what did I do now?
Me: No... it's not something you did...
****: Ok, is it me? Someone else?
Me: Umm....
****: Who do you like now...?
Me: *silence*
****: You don't wanna tell me?
Me: Um, you got both the parts... put them together...

He finally asked, "Who do you like? Is it me?" after about a minute and a half ordeal. My semi-silence was code for "yes" so that was that. So I finally came out and admitted what he said he already knew. But a little further on in the convo proved the clincher- **** was telling me why I should let go somewhat by playing my own little game and subtly hinting to me that I was doing too much pursuing and he didn't want to be chased. (Ok, so I *know* guys want to chase, not be chased, but I've liked this guy for 5 years now. Cut me a little slack here. )
Basically, he said "Don't be too hard on yourself. Give yourself some credit. I mean you're cute and all..." and I blanked out on the rest on the sentence b/c I was still in SHOCK! There I was, sitting on my bed, looking at my pillow, and all of a sudden he lets fly the C-word, directed at me! *this was me: *
Of course I had to ask. We joke and mess around so much in our convo's that I couldn't be completely sure he meant it. Plus, I mean, FIVE years... "You... mean that? You're not just messing?" "No, I mean it."
Well, then.
Unfortunately, he also expressed to me that he didn't want a girlfriend at this point in time. Down again went my hopes, after getting them up for the first time in a long time. Humph.

The only exact quote I can remember him saying on that topic after the C-bomb is:
****: When I'm ready to have a girlfriend, I'll let you know, one way or the other.
Me (grinning): Are you playing my little game and giving me a subtle hint?
****: Mmm... yeah. I'll let you know.
Well, then.

We continued on for another while afterward, talking about some other stuff... He got on to a hypothetical "friend of yours giving you an honest opinion of yourself," then he got around to doing like said "friend." His point? I use too many "yeah, but"s in my conversations. I think that's shorthand for "You are too negative." Well.... I can see how he can say that, since everytime we talk I end up coming across as being more negative than I am. Plus, I protest in jest a lot. I guess I'll have to look at that some now... esp. if he's been reading this or picked up my reference to approximately when my bday is and is intending to fulfill one of those little wishes on my list... hehe.

But in the meantime...
::: happy :::

Bday in 8 days!

-Rachel

[SmileAndFollow]

Originally Posted by hapa_angel

Oh yea, Thursday was my guitar's birthday. I got it one year ago that day. I totally forgot to put that down...

What did you get it for its birthday? New strings? A lot of play time?

[hapa_angel]

Originally Posted by SmileAndFollow

What did you get it for its birthday? New strings? A lot of play time?

After ALL THAT you only asked about my guitar's birthday?!?!?!


Ok, I'll answer the Q to be fair... I played it some more... and fine-tuned some chords on a song or two.
But I already got a card for my birthday! Woohoo! The 2 reverends at my church sent me a postcard! 'Twas from Reverend Danny and Reverend Steve... it still feels weird calling Steve "Reverend" but hey, they got me a card! A whole week early too!
In church today, I sat next to the guy who's bday is the day before mine. He was signing a bday card for someone and I commented, "Hey, you're going to be getting one of those before long, huh?" Of course he shushed me up quickly but also asked, "Wait, how do you know?" I had to remind him mine is the day after- on the Sunday, so that's a lot worse... more embarrassment from leaders and the like. So uh-oh... he's the same grade level as **** ::ahem:: so we'll see if he lets the rest of his fellowship hear that, since it's only him and **** that "should" know when my bday is. (My church is divided up by fellowships- Middle School, High School, College: mine, and Adult- and individual grade levels- frosh, soph, etc. For adult, it's under-25/over-25/family.)
Well look who skipped out on church today... he even came to fellowship Friday night but we didn't even talk, just said "Hi" in passing... and after all that Thurs. nite. Humph. :::not as happy:::

Speaking of college, school starts back up on the 15th. Ugh... that's this Thursday. So soon already! I need more time to... just... be. Yeah. Just be. That's it.

Can't think of any more. Feedback... must... have... feedback... to... continue... argh...

*Bday in one week!*
-Rachel

[SmileAndFollow]

Originally Posted by hapa_angel

After ALL THAT you only asked about my guitar's birthday?!?!?!

Im not one to go to with advice on that sort of thing. Matters of the heart are beyond me...

Ok, I'll answer the Q to be fair... I played it some more... and fine-tuned some chords on a song or two.

Good job. I dont even know when I bought any of my basses or when I started playing, although I saw one I want in Guitar Center today... Ill just have to wait for financial aid and see how much books are...

But I already got a card for my birthday! Woohoo! The 2 reverends at my church sent me a postcard! 'Twas from Reverend Danny and Reverend Steve... it still feels weird calling Steve "Reverend" but hey, they got me a card! A whole week early too!
In church today, I sat next to the guy who's bday is the day before mine. He was signing a bday card for someone and I commented, "Hey, you're going to be getting one of those before long, huh?" Of course he shushed me up quickly but also asked, "Wait, how do you know?" I had to remind him mine is the day after- on the Sunday, so that's a lot worse... more embarrassment from leaders and the like. So uh-oh... he's the same grade level as **** ::ahem:: so we'll see if he lets the rest of his fellowship hear that, since it's only him and **** that "should" know when my bday is. (My church is divided up by fellowships- Middle School, High School, College: mine, and Adult- and individual grade levels- frosh, soph, etc. For adult, it's under-25/over-25/family.)
Well look who skipped out on church today... he even came to fellowship Friday night but we didn't even talk, just said "Hi" in passing... and after all that Thurs. nite. Humph. :::not as happy:::

Speaking of college, school starts back up on the 15th. Ugh... that's this Thursday. So soon already! I need more time to... just... be. Yeah. Just be. That's it.

Can't think of any more. Feedback... must... have... feedback... to... continue... argh...

*Bday in one week!*
-Rachel

Birthdays lost their appeal for me around the time I turned 16. I was too glad to get my license and get out of the house. Who cares about a party? I got freedom. I usually just use it as an excuse to have my parents do something for me and thats it. We dont start back to college untill the 22nd... Im not really sure how I feel about it, and, like I said before, Ill let you figure out the other thing on your own.

[hapa_angel]

Originally Posted by SmileAndFollow

Im not one to go to with advice on that sort of thing. Matters of the heart are beyond me...
Ill let you figure out the other thing on your own.

I was not asking for advice, simply a comment can suffice. I told about half a dozen people already and so far I've gotten eye rolls and exasperated sighs from some of them and so I need feedback where these are not visible.

Thank you for being the one life form besides me existant on this blog as of the last couple of days.

[bigpirate]

Sorry, I don't get on on weekends, because I happen to have no computer at my home, and worse than that, I currently have no home!

Well, that's not totally true... I have one an hour away in my hometown, and here in K-ville I have friends I am going to look for an apartment with that I am staying with... the couch circuit sucks though.

Anyway... what I would honestly tell you is that this guy, by telling you that you are cute, may think of you as still too young for him. This would be enhanced by the fact that you are pursuing him. You are like the girl that guys tell their friends about, the one who they can "fall back on". Now here you have two options.
1. you can wait around for him to decide he likes you enough to go out with you, and hope you fall in love at that point... or
2. give it up and wait on who God has for you, because if it is him than he will be there in the end, and if not, just imagine how awesome the guy God has for you is gonna be, to be even better than this dude!

2 is generally good advice in all situations, but of course we all have very little patience. Just don't act too silly and girly around the dude, and try to show the dude that you are not some airhead little girl, and maybe it'll happen.

It is not that you are an airhead, it is just that a guys perception of a girl who was a freshman when he was a senior can be kinda closer to that.

Hope that helped . LAters.

[HeavenOnAStick]

Hey! I read it... when I have time. But I just don't comment all that often!

[Zman43]

Originally Posted by hapa_angel

Yup.

Sorry, they're kinda too old. 8-10 year-olds know Santa is their parents, and if they don't... well, let's just say they're gonna be in for a big shock when they grow up.


LOL! FOCL!! ROFL!!!


Ow, my sides!
Whoooo...
thanx, I needed that.


Except now there's some Hoobastank mixed in. Hah...
I got the CD as an "early birthday gift" yesterday. (I'm never gonna get to unwrap anything at this rate!!!) Only $9.99 at Target. It was worth going out in the rain. That and my mom's stuff... and my new black camisole.

-Now the RealPlayer DJ list looks like:
Understand- Jeremy Camp
Lord, Let Your Glory Fall- Matt Redman
Only One Thing- Todd Agnew
Call To Worship- Matt Redman
Romans 12:1- Todd Agnew
Never There- Hoobastank
Stein's Theme- Project 86
One-Armed Man- P86
Out of Control- Hoobastank playing right this second
What Happened To Us?- Hoobastank
Escape- Hoobastank
Just One- Hoobastank
The Reason- Hoobastank
Unaffected- Hoobastank
Disappear- Hoobastank


Oh dear... I hope not. "Soccer mom"- ugh. Hah.
Well, not a bunch of boys anyway. Girls I can stand for awhile because they love you to pieces and don't try to rip each other apart until they get to be teenagers. Boys... well, you read what happened Thursday.

_____________________________
Ok, diary time...

Oh yea, Thursday was my guitar's birthday. I got it one year ago that day. I totally forgot to put that down... but now it seems so insignificant compared to all the OTHER stuff starting from that night... My goodness, so much happened two days ago. I don't know how I can fully convey it all. I will start from that night...
I got off the internet and freed up the phone by 10:30-ish, so I called... I'll call him ****, because that's close enough to tell some people who it is (by the # of letters) and not enough that it's his name. (BTW, this is the guy I write my poems for... the one I'm wishing for 4 my bday, even. Hah . I told him I liked him waaaay back when I first did- 5 years ago, when we both were still in high school- my first year and his last.)
Anyway, we had about a 3-hour convo. It started off innocently enough, talking about kinda silly little nothings. We kept finishing one topic like always and then, I was being kinda silly that nite so I was suggesting changing topics by whatever popped into our mind. Well... he flipped it around and said it was my turn to think of something. Silly me, guess what the first thing I though of was. *argh* So I was playing my little guessing game again, the one I use to torture other unfortunate souls when I don't really wanna just come out and SAY something... Really bad habit, that.
So finally he gets close and we're at...
****: What is it? Is it me?
Me: umm..... Well....
****: Okay, what did I do now?
Me: No... it's not something you did...
****: Ok, is it me? Someone else?
Me: Umm....
****: Who do you like now...?
Me: *silence*
****: You don't wanna tell me?
Me: Um, you got both the parts... put them together...

He finally asked, "Who do you like? Is it me?" after about a minute and a half ordeal. My semi-silence was code for "yes" so that was that. So I finally came out and admitted what he said he already knew. But a little further on in the convo proved the clincher- **** was telling me why I should let go somewhat by playing my own little game and subtly hinting to me that I was doing too much pursuing and he didn't want to be chased. (Ok, so I *know* guys want to chase, not be chased, but I've liked this guy for 5 years now. Cut me a little slack here. )
Basically, he said "Don't be too hard on yourself. Give yourself some credit. I mean you're cute and all..." and I blanked out on the rest on the sentence b/c I was still in SHOCK! There I was, sitting on my bed, looking at my pillow, and all of a sudden he lets fly the C-word, directed at me! *this was me: *
Of course I had to ask. We joke and mess around so much in our convo's that I couldn't be completely sure he meant it. Plus, I mean, FIVE years... "You... mean that? You're not just messing?" "No, I mean it."
Well, then.
Unfortunately, he also expressed to me that he didn't want a girlfriend at this point in time. Down again went my hopes, after getting them up for the first time in a long time. Humph.

The only exact quote I can remember him saying on that topic after the C-bomb is:
****: When I'm ready to have a girlfriend, I'll let you know, one way or the other.
Me (grinning): Are you playing my little game and giving me a subtle hint?
****: Mmm... yeah. I'll let you know.
Well, then.

We continued on for another while afterward, talking about some other stuff... He got on to a hypothetical "friend of yours giving you an honest opinion of yourself," then he got around to doing like said "friend." His point? I use too many "yeah, but"s in my conversations. I think that's shorthand for "You are too negative." Well.... I can see how he can say that, since everytime we talk I end up coming across as being more negative than I am. Plus, I protest in jest a lot. I guess I'll have to look at that some now... esp. if he's been reading this or picked up my reference to approximately when my bday is and is intending to fulfill one of those little wishes on my list... hehe.

But in the meantime...
::: happy :::

Bday in 8 days!

-Rachel

H TOTALLY likes you, Rachel. TOTALLY. Just let it go for a while, and keep us posted. THIS IS SOOOO INTERESTING!!!!

[SmileAndFollow]

Originally Posted by hapa_angel

I was not asking for advice, simply a comment can suffice. I told about half a dozen people already and so far I've gotten eye rolls and exasperated sighs from some of them and so I need feedback where these are not visible.

Like so?

Thank you for being the one life form besides me existant on this blog as of the last couple of days.

Youre quite welcome. I lead a very boring life and it allows me more than enough time to spend online...

[bigpirate]

maybe this dude (Z) knows something I don't... or maybe I am just younger than him and am the kind of guy that would definately do something if I liked a girl and I figured out she liked me too... yeah, that is probably it

[hapa_angel]

Originally Posted by HeavenOnAStick

But I just don't comment all that often!

Okay okay! Just kinda feeling dejected since I posted my heart out and got no other responses before the next post!

Originally Posted by bigpirate

Anyway... what I would honestly tell you is that this guy, by telling you that you are cute, may think of you as still too young for him. This would be enhanced by the fact that you are pursuing him. You are like the girl that guys tell their friends about, the one who they can "fall back on". Now here you have two options.
1. you can wait around for him to decide he likes you enough to go out with you, and hope you fall in love at that point... or
2. give it up and wait on who God has for you, because if it is him than he will be there in the end, and if not, just imagine how awesome the guy God has for you is gonna be, to be even better than this dude!

For #1... well, that's what I've been doing. Got me nowhere as of yet.
For #2... he kinda-sorta said something along those lines. Hmm...

Some background to clarify a couple of things...
He's only a bit over two years older than me. He started school a bit early, so he was 17 when he graduated.
One other thing- he's only had one girlfriend... (no, not me)! They were a couple their H.S. senior year... and that was when I met him, so there you go. He was taken when I started liking him. But they broke up by the time they graduated, and he's been single ever since.
Me? I've been single all my life.

So does that mean he's counting on me to still want to make ga-ga eyes at him after I'm finished at Bethany?
*wonders*

...

Another thing- I went and told him I liked him that summer... so he's known since then but we've become fairly good friends since then- good enough that since then, I've talked to him about a couple of other guys I sorta liked. Dunno if that helped/hurt anything... so I said it was "a relapse" and not "I've been in love with you for all these five years..." so I wouldn't sound so airy-headed. Heh. I've been following your advice since before you gave it, bigpirate! Lol!

Originally Posted by Zman43

H TOTALLY likes you, Rachel. TOTALLY. Just let it go for a while, and keep us posted. THIS IS SOOOO INTERESTING!!!!

Well... see that is what I'm wondering. I, in my odd little way, came out and told him I liked him, while he never even let on that he was attracted to me in the slightest until last Thursday.

maybe this dude (Z) knows something I don't... or maybe I am just younger than him and am the kind of guy that would definately do something if I liked a girl and I figured out she liked me too... yeah, that is probably it

See, that is what I'm talking about... when you've moved past the whole "Ohmahgosh, that guy is soooo CUTE!" stage, you start holding back and protecting yourself more... or at least trying to. And there's the whole playing games thing. I hate it when guys play games, but I'm more guilty of it than most of them. so.... I'm just as bad. Eeesh.
Plus I've had some good conversations before with other guy friends on a similar topic and found their consesus was basically: "Guys are stupid. There'll be this totally hot BABE sitting across from us and we'll just sit and stare, we won't go up to her and say hi or try to get her number or anything."



(See, SmileAndFollow? I can do that, too. Hehe. )

_________________________________

Skipped away from the munchkins today. My dad stayed home too, and telecommuted from his laptop. My mom was in a not-very-good mood when I woke up so I stayed home and made lunch. Mmm, scrambled eggs with carrots and Chinese mushrooms and scallions. Too bad I cooked it a minute or two too long and the mushrooms got a bit dry and the carrots got a bit soft. Oh well. Mom was very happy after that b/c she didn't make it, and my dad was happy that my mom was happy, so all was well with the world for an hour.

Umm... nothing much other than that.
Oh- The Reason is a good CD overall. Right up my alley. It's all I hoped the PC3 CD would be and more. It's harder on the punkity-rock and more upbeat on the ballads. I like my bass, but the songs have to jibe with me also. The Reason does, while One unfortunately does not.

That's all.


Until he finally calls me.......
-Rachel