hey im having a writers block

iluvusr05 · 12-11-2003, 08:55 PM

okay so some of my crap i write is bad but i need help with a sentence and another line to add. for all u poets or wanna be poets can help if they like.

i welcome thee into my life
forever you will stay in sight
if you may have to "go" <----- i dunno what is good, that doesnt make sense
dream of me for "all the nights" <-- it made sense in my head at first now it
doesnt so so good?! i dunno!

What do u think i could replace or add or change or whatever! thanks!

Jeffrey · 12-12-2003, 02:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by iluvusr05

okay so some of my crap i write is bad but i need help with a sentence and another line to add. for all u poets or wanna be poets can help if they like.

i welcome thee into my life
forever you will stay in sight
if you may have to "go" <----- i dunno what is good, that doesnt make sense
dream of me for "all the nights" <-- it made sense in my head at first now it
doesnt so so good?! i dunno!

What do u think i could replace or add or change or whatever! thanks!

Depends what you're trying to write...I assume this is love for another person?

tragic:
I welcome thee into my life
Forever you will stay in sight
And even if you're torn from me
Dream of me in the still of night

peaceful:
I welcome thee into my life
Forever you will stay in sight
And when the days take you away
Dream of me in the still of night

bitter:
I welcome thee into my life
Forever you will stay in sight
And if you spurn me in favor of flight
Burn and toss in dreams of me every night

iluvusr05 · 12-12-2003, 05:09 PM

hey thanks man? where about in texas r u from?

Jeffrey · 12-12-2003, 07:04 PM

Austin, the Littlest Big City since...Reno...

iluvusr05 · 12-13-2003, 09:22 PM

yea i know where that is, i live, hmm u know where dallas is?! south of that like 25 mins in a hick town, Midlothian. im pretty sure i havent heard of it, no body has. you in still in high school or in collage?! or long gratuated?!