[Skeeter]

Wrote this just now, on the spot, so I'm sure there's flagrant errors that are begging to be RCed. Reps for RCs will be forthcoming. It's in the key in Dm, which is fun, since I haven't written much in minor keys before. This song also reflects my newly Calvinist beliefs. First song I've written with that kind of thing as a theme. Rip it apart.

Who Am I?

Another setback
A turning point
Another choice presented to me

I don't want my will
But yours be done
But my will's the only one I see

[build]
Never doing what is right
Doing evil in God's sight
Never doing what is good
Began to think I never would

[chorus]
I'm just a man
Who am I in Your plan
Nothing good I see
Who am I that You choose me

I never know
Just who I am
Am I a victim of the nature in me

When I stumble
Was I made that way?
When will I solve the mystery

[build]
[chorus]
[build]

Until You set me free
Eternal life a guarantee
Your eternal decree
Set our here to rescue me
From the start
You knew my heart
Forever blessed Trinity

[Ayria]

i REALLY like this, it's actually very good...just a few things.

in the chorus, i would change it from Who am I that You choose me to 'who am i that You chose me'-make it past tense.

also i would make it "eternal life IS a guarantee", add the 'is.'

then you put "set our here to rescue me." i tried and tried to think of what you meant to say, but i couldn't figure it out, LOL. so yeah, if you could say what you meant to put that would help

other than that, it's really good. i especially love the ending. good job!!

[Skeeter]

Thanks for the suggestions and encouragement.

Hmm, I've thought of making the "choose" present tense, but I'm not entirely sure at this point. Anyone else?

Sorry, the "is" doesn't fit into the rhythm of that line, otherwise I would have it there.

"Set out" is supposed to imply a plan from the beginning to rescue me...or something. Sorry if it wasn't clear.