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Old 11-15-2003, 12:25 PM   #1
TCU Horned Frogs#1!!!
 
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Joined: Aug 2003
Location: Lone Star State
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Church Bloopers

I know some of these have already been posted, but there are quite a few new ones too.



Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

The outreach committee has enlisted 25 visitors to make calls on people who are not afflicted with any church.

Evening massage - 6 p.m.

The Pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday morning.

The audience is asked to remain seated until the end of the recession.

Low Self-Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 to 8:30 p.m. Please use the back door.

Ushers will eat latecomers.

The third verse of Blessed Assurance will be sung without musical accomplishment.

For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

The Rev. Merriwether spoke briefly, much to the delight of the audience.

The pastor will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will sing, "Break Forth Into Joy."

During the absence of our pastor, we enjoyed the rare privilege of hearing a good sermon when J.F. Stubbs supplied our pulpit.

Next Sunday Mrs. Vinson will be soloist for the morning service. The pastor will then speak on "It's a Terrible Experience."

Due to the Rector's illness, Wednesday's healing services will be discontinued until further notice.

Stewardship Offertory: "Jesus Paid It All"

The music for today's service was all composed by George Friedrich Handel in celebration of the 300th anniversary of his birth.

Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.

The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the church basement on Friday at 7 p.m. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.

The concert held in Fellowship Hall was a great success. Special thanks are due to the minister's daughter, who labored the whole evening at the piano, which as usual fell upon her.

Twenty-two members were present at the church meeting held at the home of Mrs. Marsha Crutchfield last evening. Mrs. Crutchfield and Mrs. Rankin sang a duet, The Lord Knows Why.

A song fest was hell at the Methodist church Wednesday.

Today's Sermon: HOW MUCH CAN A MAN DRINK? with hymns from a full choir.

Hymn 43: "Great God, what do I see here?" Preacher: The Rev. Horace Blodgett
Hymn 47: "Hark! An awful voice is sounding"

On a church bulletin during the minister's illness: GOD IS GOOD Dr. Hargreaves is better.

Potluck supper: Prayer and medication to follow.

Don't let worry kill you off - let the church help.

The 1997 Spring Council Retreat will be hell May 10 and 11.

Pastor is on vacation. Massages can be given to church secretary.

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Phillipians 3:12

Not that I have attained it all or am already perfected, but I press on that I might be able to lay hold of that for which Jesus Christ lay hold of me.

This is my favorite verse. It reminds me that no matter what is happening I can can trust God to pull me through. It is a constant reminder that although I'm not perfect, God is, and can still use me.
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Old 11-16-2003, 01:41 PM   #2
Me and my brother <3
 
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I love bloopers!
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So if you're waiting for love/well it's a promise I'll keep/if you don't mind believing that it changes everything/then time will never matter/
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Old 11-17-2003, 03:51 PM   #3
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as do I. those were awesome. in our church bulletin recently for a alternative to trick-or-treating, it said, "Come join the fun at cloe Funeral home. hmm...
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I think that if we really knew what it was like to be in the presence of God, then there is nothing on this earth that would keep us from living every moment for Him and worshipping Him with all of our hearts. Praise be to God for the day when we finally stand face to face with our LORD and Savior.
Although... perhaps it will be our face to His feet.
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