[Visirale]

whoah... that's an amazing story... That guy has a lot of faith, and I'm sure God does have something in store for him.

I'm repeating that song in win amp right now.. great stuff

[fiveminuteplan]

I waited for over an hour tonight for my friend Tim to come pick me up. When he finally got here, I asked him what took so long and he said that he was reading my cgr journal, this very journal. I was like dude, don't you see me enough? I mean, seriously, I see this kid almost every day and tell him any interesting things that have happened to me. He's heard all the stuff I've said in here. Why does he need to read my journal? He doesn't! He needs to get his butt over to my house when he says he's gonna. So, Tim, if you're reading this, stop and just call me on the phone or something. Geez!

[fiveminuteplan]

You're far from me
And I'm far from myself
It's raining and I wasted all last year
Days escape me, it feels like I'm asleep
It's getting hard to put it back together everyday

These words sound like desperation. I remember writing them on the 1st of January, 2003. They are the first verse of a song which I was recording tonight. I find myself feeling this way again. I don't know what it is, maybe it's just this time of year: the days are shorter, the air is colder, the sun is not as bright. It's hard to put my finger on the reason, but I feel displaced. I can't believe that another year has passed. I haven't really accomplished anything. I told myself that this was going to be my year, and that was the first time I had ever said that; but it wasn't my year. Usually, I accomplish the things that I set out to do, but I'm finding that as I grow older it's gets harder to accomplish things. Maybe it's because I'm trying to do more difficult things, I don't know.

A couple of people have answered ads that I've placed on the internet for a new drummer. One guy lives in Kansas and is looking to move and join a band. I don't know what's going on with him, he hasn't gotten back to me. The other was a guy from around here, but he is just alot older than us and has different goals. He's a really nice guy, though. I told him about an ad I found here on CGR for a praise band. I hope he finds success there.

Rakel (the flamingo) started talking to me on AIM the other night. She said that it was just because she was bored, but I didn't take that as an insult. Alot of people talk to me when they're bored because, hey, I'm a pretty entertaining person. I'm there for people. Anyway, she is super cool, guys! Ah, she talked to me about so much stuff that I can't even remember how much stuff she actually talked to me about. She showed me a song she wrote, and told me about where she lives and her friends and music she likes. I hope I'm half as cool as Rakel when I grow up. If I were Rakel, I'd wear a harness around my head with a mirror on it so that I could always look into the mirror and see how cool I was every second of the day. Do you think that if I were Rakel, and I did that, that I'd somehow stop being as cool? Nah, of course not, because if I were Rakel, I'd be Rakel, so I could never be less cool. I feel better now.

[the flamingo]

Gee Whiz, that made me feel superspecial. John, my newfound friend, you rock. However, if you were me, man, you would be pretty unmodest .

On the flipside, I always say "this is my year" ... this is my summer, this is my time... but it never comes as you anticipate. I figure that you will look back at it and see things you didn't see while you were living through it, and maybe you'll say, "you know, that was my year." Or maybe not. Either way, we just gotta keep putting one foot in front of the other.

This season is always pretty drear for me too. I don't like winter. I don't like the holidays, I don't like the cold wind biting my nose and fingers, I don't like snow, I don't like egg nog...

Anyway.

[fiveminuteplan]

Life is pretty boring right now. I went to a party at my church on New Year's Eve. It was kinda lame. Everyone left early to goto other "cooler," parties I guess? I don't know, all I know is that they left and it was stupid. Church can be fun too! The upside was that I got to hang out with my friend Beth. I hadn't really been around her for awhile, but I just realized that she's a really cool and nice person. She's alot cooler than most of the girls at my church. She's going to Liberty University in Virginia though, so I can't see her that much, bummer.

Tonight we made up a cool intro to our CD; I like it alot. We made it up completely from scratch and recorded it over the last two days. There's just one more guitar riff to be recorded, which we're going to be doing tomorrow.

I hate not playing music as a band. We used to play almost everyday until we lost our drummer. I got used to it after 2 1\2 years, now I feel kind of empty without it. Music is my passion, it's my lifeblood. How can you live without your blood? You can't, you're a zombie. That's what I'm like right now, the living dead. I really tend to fly off the deep end over these things. I need to be cooler and more zen-like.

I made a picture in MS Paint, who says you need talent to make art?

[the flamingo]

John, you are a talentless hack ...





...but I love you anyways


just kidding.


or was I?

[fiveminuteplan]

Originally Posted by the flamingo

John, you are a talentless hack ...





...but I love you anyways


just kidding.


or was I?

I'm not as disconcerted by this kind of thing as you are. So ha! Your plans are foiled!

[the flamingo]

Oh yeah, well it looks like you've soiled your pants.

[fiveminuteplan]

Another week has passed... I got over my writer's block this week and wrote some new songs. I also finished a few that had been lying around unfinished for awhile. I'm happy about that. I hate it when I don't finish a song. We finished recording and I'm mixing right now. Mixing is my least favorite part of recording. It's tedious work. O well, in the end it's worth it.

I've felt really bad for the past few weeks. I haven't been able to wake up and when I do, I still feel tired no matter how much I sleep. I wake up everyday feely congested, sometimes I get headaches. Ah, it's just sucked. I've just sorta felt sick all the time. And, it's been affecting me emotionally. I've been Mr. Mood Swing lately because I just couldn't figure out what was wrong with me. I literally felt like I was asleep all the time, but I found the reason. I was sitting at my desk, talking on the phone yesterday when I leaned back in my chair and put my arm on the window sill. My arm was all of the sudden soaking wet because the window sill was\is covered in water. I opened the blinds to find that my window is covered in mold! I hadn't opened the window or the blinds since we moved into this apartment, so I didn't know. I think it's the reason for my general sickness and fatigue. I don't know if they're going to tear my window out, make us move out of this apartment, or what; but the apartment people are coming on Monday. I'll be sleeping in the living room until then.

I talked to my friend Ashley the other day. She lives near Miami, but is moving here in a few months. Geez, we must have talked for at least four hours. I haven't seen her in about 5 years, so I'm really excited about hanging out with her again. She is a really cool, smart, funny, nice, and attractive girl. I'm thinking about seeing her alot now; It's keeping me up nights. I really wish that I could see her soon . O well, absence makes the heart grow fonder. Do I have to always end my journal entries with catch phrases? Oh, I guess not...

[Visirale]

Whoo I'm gonna meet you in person soon. Together our combined forces of evil should be enough to take anybody. Except Jesus. He can still take both of us to hell in a handbasket... wait was that sacroligious?

-Ted

[the flamingo]

Originally Posted by Visirale

Whoo I'm gonna meet you in person soon. Together our combined forces of evil should be enough to take anybody. Except Jesus. He can still take both of us to hell in a handbasket... wait was that sacroligious?

-Ted

sacroligious? no. but, sacrilegious maybe...

[fiveminuteplan]

BLASPHEMY!

Anyway, look at this.

[the flamingo]

BLIMEY!

Anyway, look at this.

[fiveminuteplan]

1. What did you do in 2003 that you'd never done before? You know what? Nothing.

2. Did you keep your New Year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year? I don't ever make them.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? No

4. Did anyone close to you die? No

5. What countries did you visit? No

6. What would you like to have in 2004 that you lacked in 2003? A million billion dollars

7. What date(s) from 2003 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? February 1, Columbia

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? I Recorded our second and third albums.

9. What was your biggest failure? Almost got signed, but didn't!

10. Did you suffer illness or injury? Just colds and stuff

11. What was the best thing you bought? My 16 track recorder

12. Whose behavior merited celebration? Mine

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? Madonna's

14. Where did most of your money go? To the cost of living. That's a dumb question, where does most people's money go?

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? I don't know, there were things that I got excited about; but I don't know about really, really, really excited

16. What song will always remind you of 2003? Seraph's Coal - Hope is Where the Heart Is

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? Sadder
ii. thinner or fatter? Thinner
iii. richer or poorer? Poorer

18. What do you wish you'd done more of? Music

19. What do you wish you'd done less of? Sleeping

20. How will you be spending Christmas? Filling out surveys

22. Did you fall in love in 2003? No

23. How many one-night stands? I don't have a night stand.

24. What was your favorite TV program? Cowboy Bebop

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year? No, of course not.

26. What was the best book you read? Mixing Made Easy by Bill Gibson

27. What was your greatest musical discovery? Over It

28. What did you want and get? Your Mom

29. What did you want and not get? A record contract

30. What was your favorite film of this year? Kill Bill

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? Went out to eat, 21.

32.What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? Touring

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2003? I have no concept of fashion.

34. What kept you sane? A small amount of insanity

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? Tina Fey

36. What political issue stirred you the most? The Affirmative Action Bake Sale (that's the only one I can think of right now).

37. Who did you miss? Ashley

38. Who was the best new person you met? Rakel

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2003. Actions speak louder than words.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year. I understand about indecision; but I don't care if I get behind, people living in competition, but all I want is to have my peace of mind.

[the flamingo]

Here's a present!