Musings of a Lonely Caffeine Addict

ThanksALatte · 10-30-2003, 11:05 PM

Hey everyone... Err...I've been lurking around CGR for a long time, now, but just haven't gotten around to posting a whole lot. I've decided that I want to be a contributor to this community now, and so I will try my hardest to visit more often and post a lot more. Anyway, I should tell you a bit about myself. I have three passions in life: Theater, teenagers, and coffee (in case you couldn't tell). I am not currently in school, but I should have graduated college last year...I am planning on going back at some point full time, but it's so darn expensive! I want to study Theater so I can teach and/or direct professionally. Umm...my coffee of choice is Starbucks...yes, I am a coffee snob; yes, when I walk into the store I am greeted by name and asked whether or not I want my "usual" triple grande two pump hazelnut two percent extra hot latte.
I do have other interests besides coffee (surprisingly enough)...I like to play my guitar, take photographs, read, and write (some of my stuff is posted online let me know if you want to read it). I've been on a total of five missions trips in my life...three of them to Asia. I'd have to say that the past three trips I've taken have very much shaped me into the person I am right now. Amazing, amazing experiences--if you ever have the opportunity to be involved in missions...DO IT! (even if it's not going but supporting through prayer!)
So yeah, that pretty much sums me up. I am generally fairly mellow and laid-back, but can occasionally become a bit spastic at times (that's my disclaimer)

Current Mood: thoughtful
Current Music: none
Thought of the day: God couldn't love you any more than He does right now.

His,
The Anonymous Caffeine Addict

ThanksALatte · 10-31-2003, 11:19 PM

Ahh...very nice to see so many people have read this! Haha. (Kidding, don't take offense...)
So today was kind of hard... Adjusting back to US culture (alone, without my missions team) after this summer has been an ongoing challenge. I find myself not understanding a lot of what we do over here. I don't understand why kids that are like 12 have to have this big competition about who has the most and best TVs/computers/game systems, etc. I don't understand why we think we need to have as much...stuff...as we do. It's so easy to be open and vulnerable when you're together with a group of individuals with the same purpose and focus as you...but isn't that what we, as a body, are supposed to be? Aren't we supposed to have the same ultimate focus and purpose? Yet we don't, and I can't understand that.
It was definitely one of those "I miss my team

!" days. It's been nearly three months since we were together...yet my heart still yearns to be back with them. I miss the support and encouragement, but I also miss the hard questions that we'd ask each other...the accountability.

Current Mood:

lonely
Current Music: Passion: Sacred Revolution
Thought for the Day: Everything finds its meaning from its place in the story...what's YOUR place?

His,
The Anonymous Caffeine Addict

danalyn · 11-03-2003, 10:24 AM

Hey! thought I'd see if we couldn't generate a little more traffic in here... Actually, truth be told, it was the coffee that drew me in ((and while I'm being honest, I'm intimidated by Starbucks))

at any rate... Hey! How are ya? What do you do with your time?

ThanksALatte · 11-03-2003, 11:12 AM

Danalyn!! Thanks for dropping by!

I'm sorry that Starbucks intimidates you...it used to intimidate me, but when an old roommate started working there, well, I got to know quite a few of the workers and one of them remains a good acquaintance and so I will visit "my" store a lot.

Let's see...it's been kind of a busy weekend where I haven't gotten the chance to actually type an entry worth reading (if anyone really reads it anyway LOL). But I've been doing a lot of thinking about what I'm supposed to do in my life. I think that God has given me a wide range of interests, and even my two main passions (Theater, high schoolers) seem to not coincide sometimes. All I know is this: I am excited to see what God has in store for my life. I have no idea how He will blend my interests, talents, etc but I'm trying to exercise them so that when I'm called to use them, they're ready, you know?
I've also been doing a lot of thinking about my personal ministry in my church and youth group. Mainly, my relationships with the girls. It's easy to point fingers at others' mistakes and stuff...but what about when I'm looking at myself? I remember one...mistake...that someone made that changed the course of my life for a while. It was a simple comment that shouldn't have been made, but probably wasn't thought about too much afterward and if I were to bring it up, they most likely wouldn't remember that it was even said. But the impact that had on my life could have very well been disasterous. It made me think back to all of my dealings with "my" kids, both in theyouth group setting and in the classroom... how many times had I made that same mistake of speaking without thinking? How many lives have I almost broken? Not that I can change what's already been said, but it makes me want to think twice before speaking... Just a thought.
I hope y'all are doing just swell and are finding yourselves blessed everyday.

Current Mood: content
Current Music: David Crowder "Come Thou Fount" from a mixed worship CD
Thought of the day: You must become the change you want to see.

His,
The Anonymous Caffeine Addict

danalyn · 11-03-2003, 11:16 AM

oh good! someone else who refers to the kids they work with as "my kids"

Y'know I'd think that theater and highschoolers wouldn't be that hard to work together... I dunno... it'd require some creativity which I imagine wouldn't come to hard for someone who's interest is in that area... I mean, you may have to come up with something independent, but it should be doable...
just a thought...

Erika · 11-03-2003, 10:50 PM

Helllooooooooooooooooo there!
Please don't feel lonely *hugz* I love ya...Jesus does too...
And I'll share my coffee with ya too

Thespia · 11-04-2003, 12:04 AM

Hi, give me some coffee. I would never go to Asia. Give me Europe anyday (you know...they have MUCH better coffee in places like Italy!!!)

ThanksALatte · 11-05-2003, 10:18 PM

So today after work I went out with a friend. Somehow we started talking about missions. I don't know how this came up, but I found myself getting frustrated with certain...things.
See, like I said, three of my however many missions trips have been to Asia (yes, Thespia, I know the coffee in Europe is much better, but my heart is for the Asian people. :wink

And when I come home, I don't come home on the normal spiritual high from seeing hundreds of people saved. It's so hard for me to speak to my church. I say stuff like "I was able to share with one high schooler the entire Gospel message." They don't understand that in China that is a MASSIVE deal. In fact, the sending org has sent two different teams to China (I was on both of them) to the same high school to do the same program. We saw our first "fruit" when one of the students became a Christian last Christmas. So...over the course of two years, we've sent about 60 people over for about four weeks total ministry and have only been able to expand the Kingdom by...1? Yes. One precious name has been added to the Book of Life. It's very hard to explain to a congregation how if our two years of ministry (I say year because a lot of email correspondence takes place) was all for that one life, it'd be more than worth it.
Another frustration I have with missions is this: we are so concerned with seeing immediate results that some countries get neglected. For instance, so many people are heartbroken by the economic state of Africa. Sure, it's like the poorest continent int he world, why wouldn't that be sad? And it is, but seriously, the needs there are less spiritual and more physical. So much is happening in Africa with the churches being built there...and that is so amazing, I cant' even express how happy that makes me.
But since all of that is going on, you'd think that maybe we'd turn our focus a little and invest in other places as well. This past summer I went to Nepal. All summer long I suffered (and still suffer) from a broken heart. Sound cliche? Sound trite? Sorry if it does, but it's true. You'll not understand unless you've been there. Nepal is an extremely poor nation...poverty, begging, etc. But their needs are not only physical...they're spiritual as well. Whereas a team could go to Africa and literally multiply churches as far as numbers, places such as Nepal don't yield such astounding results. We had a team of 50 and "saved" less than 100. They are so...bound in their belief in Hinduism or Buddhism. They are so closed to Christianity...technically what we did (witnessing, etc) was illegal but fortunately, that law is not enforced in many places.
*Sigh* I'm sorry if what I said offended anyone. That wasn't the intention. For the record, I love what is going on in Africa and fully support any missionary, no matter where they're going. It's just that my heart is so in Asia and I guess it's just been more certain people that have surfaced these frustrations because they've said stuff like "why do you always go to asia? can't you go somewhere and...do something?"
Anyway, we started talking about Oprah and naturally i started saying stuff like "Dear Oprah, There are girls being taken from villages and sent to brothels in India...can you help?" "There are people living without a roof over their heads all over the US, Asia, and Africa while we sit in our plush homes...can you help?"
Yeah, just some random (slightly rant-ish) thoughts from me today... Again, please do not be offended by what I said. I know I've said some strongly-opinionated things and most of that was out of frustration. I'm going to go make some coffee now and things will be better.

Current Mood: slightly frustrated, but overall content
Current Music: Sarah Lentz "Everything's Alright" check her out here
Thought of the Day: Go out on a limb...that's where the fruit is!

His,
The Anonymous Caffeine Addict

ThanksALatte · 11-06-2003, 10:50 PM

Hi, thanks for everyone who visited and let me know

I appreciate that.
Today was...well, bittersweet. Sweet because I got a kickin new guitar...kind of a belated birthday gift. It's an Alvarez AD60SC for those of you who know guitars and/or care.

But bitter because our puppy is sick. And this is the second puppy we've had in a month. Our first one died two and a half weeks after we got him... Now, two weeks after we get the second one (we called the breeder to tell them that a puppy died most likely from a liver disorder which is inherited so they offered us another one)...he's sick. Same symptoms, almost exact time frame...I don't know if I can go through all of this again. You buy a little guy, he worms his way into everyone's hearts and then he's gone. I know, I know "It's a dog" right? But you have absolutely no idea just how heart-wrenching this is for me. Besides the fact that I've fallen in love with him, it's more the fact that I don't know that I can watch my parents go through this again. I can't watch their hearts break a second time.
So yeah, that was my day. We took the dog to the vet...they ran some tests, kept the fluids going and did an xray, but nothing came up as a definitive cause.
*sigh* so I am just trying to keep going and not get myself all worked up about it.

Current Mood: broken
Current Music: Chris Tomlin--"Not To Us"
Thought of the Day: If you want to walk on water, you've got to get out of the boat.

danalyn · 11-07-2003, 10:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ThanksALatte

But bitter because our puppy is sick. And this is the second puppy we've had in a month. Our first one died two and a half weeks after we got him...

definately know how the sick puppy thing works... 'course in my case it's a kitty... and she's not with me. She's staying with my grandparents right now. there's been blood in her urine... and we're putting off the vet visit for fear of what they might say, but the suspected reason is that she got in the garbage and chewed on chicken bones. there's a possibility that she's got chicken bone spinters in her system...
the question is: what if she gets worse? what if the vets want to operate and want lots of money? what if...?

ThanksALatte · 11-09-2003, 07:54 PM

Let's see...it's been quite the weekend. My puppy is doing better, but still not "out of the woods" quite yet. He was in the hospital for three days, but never overnight. We're taking him in tomorrow again. Today after I got home from church I walked in and he was sitting on the doormat and as soon as he saw me, his whole rear end started wagging. And then we took him outside and he actually played...so yeah, he's improving.
I worked until almost midnight last night, so getting up for church this morning was a little bit...difficult. And I had to be there early to run through a sketch. It went well, considering we'd never rehearsed before this morning and we re-wrote some of it too. (I am the writer so when I'm involved in one, there's constant re-writes going on...even if it's only two pages long

)
Today after church, I had a sweet sweet time of fellowship with some friends. It was really...needed for me at this point. I hadn't hung out with these girls for a while and so it was really refreshing to be around them and just laugh and exchange stories, insights and thoughts.
I hope that this entry finds all of you as blessed as I am right now! If not, then remember to focus your gaze on Him and keep your head up.

Current Mood: content
Current Music: a very...enchanting version of "In the Secret" by an Afrikaans singer
Thought for the day: Don't let your blessings become burdens.

His,
The Anonymous Caffeine Addict

zoe r · 11-12-2003, 09:04 PM

01. hi hi hi.
02. How do you do?
03. I hope your dog is better soon NOW.
04. Way to be born on my birthday.
05. That is an honor.
06.

07. Have a good day.

ThanksALatte · 11-12-2003, 09:13 PM

So my puppy is all better now!! I am very happy about this. I wasn't sure if
I could have handled all the heartache again...plus watching my parents as well. He is back..bouncing, playing and...peeing everywhere.

Lately I've been getting headaches a lot. I'm not sure if it's from looking at a computer screen for hours a day (I really like to play on my computer) or if it's related to my eyes or what. Hopefully, I can get a handle on it because it's annoying and Tylenol/Ibprofen are starting to not work. (I tend to build an immunity to meds rather quickly) Anyway, yeah. Right now I have a headache, so this will be quick. Just a few quick thoughts.
I recently got a letter from a friend who told me basically what they thought of me. Which wasn't a bad thing, don't get me wrong...but I guess I never realized that I could have such an impact on someone's life. I mean, heck, it's *me*! But the fact is, I learned two lessons from that letter:
First, we as humans will have a massive impact on those around us, whether we realize it or not. And I, for one, would really prefer that impact to be positive, ya know? It really made me think...and I know that it will make me think twice before saying stuff.
Second, it made me feel...good reading that letter. It was a huge blessing to know that wow, *I've* made a difference in this person's life. What's the lesson? If someone's made a difference in your life, *TELL THEM!* Return the favor and let them know that they've blessed/encouraged/challenged/made a difference in your life!
Anyway, yeah. that's all from here. I hope that you all strive to leave the legacy of a Servant in your lifetime!

Current Mood: blessed
Current Music: Hillsong "Blessed" (what a coincidence, huh?)
Thought of the Day: They'll not care how much you know until they know how much you care!

His,
The Anonymous Caffeine Addict

ThanksALatte · 11-19-2003, 11:07 AM

Hey everyone. It's been forever. Last weekend I was with my church youth group at a conference all weekend called "Dare to Share" anyone heard of it? If it comes anywhere near you, GO!! It's amazing! There's something about a conference where a student can get saved one night and then go out and witness the next afternoon! Seriously. We had some sweet sweet times in the presence of our Lord.
Sadly, since then I've been sick. (Must have been something to do with the fact that I really didn't sleep on Saturday night...) Today, however, I feel almost back to normal, except I can't really talk.

I spent monday and tuesday in bed and so today I'm sick of laying down so I'm being a rebel and getting out! Wahaha! I don't know where I'll go yet, but I know it'll be somewhere!
Err...I woke up this morning to my puppy barking his little head off. And I mean "little". He's a little dog, but his bark isn't that annoying little "yappy" noise really. It's more of...well, you remember The Lion King when little Simba tries to roar? YEah, it's kind of like that. It's cute. He barks at us when we ignore him or don' tplay with him and he wants to play. I am convinced that within the month, he will be running the household. My mom already has to come home from work three times a day to let him out (fortunately she works all of 45 seconds away) and we have to adjust our bedtimes to his... yeah. Spoiled little brat. But he's so cute...and since he was sick and we thought we would lose a second puppy, I would think our...adoration would be somewhat understandable

Current Mood: groggy
Current Music: "Who Is Like Our God?" from a mixed worship CD
Thought of the day: There are harder things in life than finding the perfect guy...like nailing jello to a tree!

His,
The Anonymous Caffeine Addict

ThanksALatte · 11-28-2003, 01:06 AM

Well today's Thanksgiving...Or it is for another two minutes anyway. Thanksgiving is one of those holidays that just sparks some kind of funky emotions in me. I mean, I like it; I like my family coming together just to hang out (as obnoxious as they can be sometimes...ha) But it's like...why do we have to have a holiday to be Thankful? One of my recurring...issues...is that of the nature of God sometimes. (i'm sure you'll hear more about this in many other posts) We have SO much to be thankful for in our lives. Ok, maybe it's just me. I get so overwhelmed by all that I have. Literally everything I've got is a result of God's grace. And I don't understand it. I don't understand why He has chosen me to use me in such amazing ways...and why He continues to use me even after I've blown it time after time. But that's just His nature, and we as humans don't have the capacity to understand that part of Him.
Anyway, all of that to say...Happy Thanksgiving...but remember to be thankful all year round.

Current mood: Thoughtful
Current music: none...my house is asleep
Thought of the day: Thanksgiving should be all year round!

His,
Latte