low self esteem

Astonished · 10-14-2003, 03:02 PM

I need help and advice. The last couple of days have been awful, I have found my self spiralling into lower and lower self-esteem. When I was younger and in elementary school I was brutally made fun of for about three years from about gr.5 to gr. 7. Since then I have been building up my self-image until during the last couple of months I could see myself just as good as everybody else. Self-esteem though has always been a struggle in my life. I cant help it but I am always comparing myself to other people wishing I could be like them, wishing I could be popular or look good.

Now, I am a guy and I am in my last year of high school and the last couple of days I have just been spiralling downwards into depression and low-self esteem. I hate it, when I think about myself I just picture in my mind this scrawny little shy nerdy kid. Yet, when I look at myself in a mirror I can see that I am not. Just the other day a girl told me she liked me, yet I still see myself in my mind as ugly. I see the parts of me that dont look good and I blow them out of proportion in my mind. I really need help. I have prayed about this a lot and I cant really talk to my parents.

Andrew · 10-14-2003, 03:14 PM

Talk to your parents. Whether you want to or not, you need too. You parents are there to help you through this very difficult time (among others) in your life. Another thing you need to do is buck up, in a sense. I know it is difficult, but you need to realize that even if you were 4'3" and weighed 1400 pounds, you are still a child of God. And He doesn't care about what you look like. I realize you want to tangibly feel that you are a good looking guy on this earth, but obviously, you got that the other day. A girl doesn't tell the shy nerdy kid that she likes him. (Usually) Just try to get a more positive outlook. If I read that post right, you are still bitter about what happened to you in grade school. You just need to drop it and get on with your life. What happened to you in grade school is irrelevant to the you in highschool. And the you in college.

And as I already said, talk to your parents, and maybe an older person that you respect that is strong in the faith.

GMartin2R · 10-14-2003, 10:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Andrew

I know it is difficult, but you need to realize that even if you were 4'3" and weighed 1400 pounds, you are still a child of God. And He doesn't care about what you look like.

that's basically what i'd say. i know it's easier said than done, but something that you've got to realize is your value to God. kinda like a lens to view everything though. but you know what too, just because you dont think very highly of yourself, doesnt make it true. we can be our own worst critics at times. we see every single nit pickingly small problem, but just remember that others can look by those. God made you who you are, exactly who you were meant to be. As a Christian we are children of God. and He doesnt love one more than another.

Whill · 10-16-2003, 01:52 PM

I can tell you anything more than what the Lord says about you already. He delights in you, protects you and rejoices over you. You are beautiful to Him. His Beloved. The apple of His eye.

2 Samuel 22:20
He brought me out into a spacious place; he rescued me because he delighted in me.

Zephaniah 3:17
The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing."

Deuteronomy 33:12
About Benjamin he said: "Let the beloved of the LORD rest secure in him, for he shields him all day long, and the one the LORD loves rests between his shoulders

Psalm 17
7 Show the wonder of your great love,
you who save by your right hand
those who take refuge in you from their foes.
8 Keep me as the apple of your eye;
hide me in the shadow of your wings

Deuteronomy 32
9 For the LORD's portion is his people,
Jacob his allotted inheritance.

10 In a desert land he found him,
in a barren and howling waste.
He shielded him and cared for him;
he guarded him as the apple of his eye,
11 like an eagle that stirs up its nest
and hovers over its young,
that spreads its wings to catch them
and carries them on its pinions.

I was suprised to see this verse strike me. When we really trust what God says about us is true, then we realize that only He can fill the void that He put in us.

Ecclesiastes 3
10 I have seen the burden God has laid on men. 11 He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end. 12 I know that there is nothing better for men than to be happy and do good while they live.

Luke · 10-16-2003, 02:44 PM

I can definitely relate to self-esteem and depression issues, and I'm probably the last person that has any business trying to help anyone else through them, but I'll give you my two cents anyway, because I do that sort of thing.

It's really easy to see yourself in an overly negative light--that sort of self-pity does interesting things to you, and almost none of them are good. It's a sinful attitude because it entails our denying what God says about us and also actually making ourselves out in our own minds to be deserving of better than what He has given to us.

What you need to do is try to remember that your value doesn't lie in yourself or what your parents or friends say about you, but in the fact that you were created imago Dei, that Christ died for you and that God has placed His redeeming love upon you and brought you to Himself. That, and really that only, is the reason why you carry value. Remember that Christ Jesus says you are valuable even when your mind and your heart say that you are not.

Also, try to surround yourself with people who do build you up--that is one of the roles of the church, and make yourself into a person that builds others up. Try to recover the aura of respect that has been lost in today's society.

Grace & Peace
Luke

nickman945236 · 10-17-2003, 11:21 AM

Hey man,
Don't worry, I've been made fun of ALL MY LIFE! But I figured out how to feel better. I found a group of kids who openly accepted me for who I am. It took a while to find them, but they all like me and it's boosted my self-esteem so high I barely even think about it anymore.
If you've already got a group of friends like this, then I don't see why you're worried if everybody likes you. And keep in mind, God made you the way you are, even if you have problems, God can use them all for the good.
Nick

***BillSPrestonEsq*** · 10-17-2003, 11:30 AM

Martin Luther I believe it was reffered to himself as Christ's mud

and that is what I am, dirty, worthless, but Christ's. I am a street-kid in my heart still who still struggles with alcohol and a yearning for closeness like my old clan, but frankly we are all worthless. Yet Christ died for us to put treasure in these muddy earthen vessles so that his power might be displayed.

You may be just a muddy broken vessel in the worlds eyes, but that is who Christ chooses to show his glory through.

Astonished · 10-22-2003, 05:52 PM

thanks guys for your advice but it is now uneeded. The thing is, the day after I started this thread I felt better, I felt on top of the world, I started talking to people I've never talked to and I grew closer to God. Life is good!

PiousPoet · 10-22-2003, 09:30 PM

That's great.

**Becky** · 10-23-2003, 06:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BillSPrestonEsq

and that is what I am, dirty, worthless, but Christ's. I am a street-kid in my heart still who still struggles with alcohol and a yearning for closeness like my old clan, but frankly we are all worthless. Yet Christ died for us to put treasure in these muddy earthen vessles so that his power might be displayed.

You may be just a muddy broken vessel in the worlds eyes, but that is who Christ chooses to show his glory through.

you know... that is the hardest part about this mind set... IT'S TRUE!!! People try to attack it by telling you how great and wonderful you are... but those are all lies, and you down right KNOW IT! So, it becomes a slippery slope out...

That's why the key is to forget about what you are, and concentrate on what God IS, and what He is turning you into!

Bring everything back to God...

He bought you, that gave you worth
He loves you, that makes you loveable
He designed your looks, that makes you beautiful
He payed your debt, that makes you righteous
He protects you, that makes you valuable

That's why God says we are a new creation.. cause suddenly who we are isn't found in our flesh, but in Him.

Eddo · 10-25-2003, 06:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Astonished

thanks guys for your advice but it is now uneeded. The thing is, the day after I started this thread I felt better, I felt on top of the world, I started talking to people I've never talked to and I grew closer to God. Life is good!

Don't let it slip away, like I did. Whenever you start thinking negatively about yourself, dismiss the thoughts and believe that God made your perfectly in His image and therefore you are as perfect as humanly possible.

Also, Its a good idea to start correcting potential 'self-esteem killers'. For example, say you have poor posture and it makes you think less of yourself, you should start doing excercises to correct it and hold your shoulders back whenever you can. Just doing the excercises will help build better self-esteem, because you know your doing what you should to correct the problem and it will eventually - with time and effort - be corrected.