[perhaps]

hey i just got back from my church's youth summer retreat and it was soooo awesome!

i really felt that God has spoken to me!

i had this dream fri night and i dont really remember it (you know how dreams are) but at the end of it, it was so amazing. i dreampt that the youth pastor's wife came up to me and hugged me and said something like, "amanda, satan is powerful, but God's love is even more powerful. if you stick with him, you can overcome those obstacles that are standing in you way and you will know his true love." (well, that wasnt exact but that was the overall message) anyhoo, of course i wake up with this totally renewed feeling.

i think i dreampt that because i've been struggling lately with my personality. i mean, this is weird but, i'm like 2 dif people. at church i'm so nice (but i'm still weird - dont worry, thats still present), and then at school, i'll go and swear and cuss and all that junk. so i've been praying that i'll be able to overcome that and still have fun and be able to joke with my friends.

(i'm gonna jump ahead a little in the story) so at the end of the retreat, i shared that with the youth pastor and he said that the Lord probably wanted to prepare my heart for what i was to hear the next morning. cuz on saturday morning (back to the story), one of the leaders at the retreat spoke for the last time (he spoke 3 times total and they were really good presentations!) and it really made me think that i have not necessarily been honest with God and that i havnt always been attending church for the right reasons and am not spiritually growing enough.

so right after the leader spoke, my youth pastor closed in prayer and he asked (while our heads were bowed) for people to raise their hands if they feel like they have accepted Jesus into their lives, but havnt really got that far spiritually and wanted to grow and get away from certain obstacles in their life. so i raised my hand (obviously, hehe). and then he said that we could pray this prayer; and then he prayed aloud and i (and whoever else wanted to) prayed after him (silently) the sinner's prayer (i think that's what its called???).

I thought it was so awesome that God spoke to me through a dream right when i needed it and when i was praying for it.

God IS working in our lives, just be willing to listen and obey Him
--amanda

[Dill-Booy]

That's totally awesome, I think I know what you mean about sorta being two different people, when I'm with my non-christian friends I really don't act like I'm a christian, I don't think they even know that I am a christian, I often give my self excuses, like that I don't have any opportunities to act christian but I know that's a lie. I've been maturing in christ a lot this summer but I'm afraid it's because I've only been hanging out with my christian friends, and then when I go back to school and I'm around my non-christian friends, then I'll just start saying things and doing things that God doesn't want me to do or say, it's hard not to say things that don't please God when your hanging around with people like that, but I think if I try hard and ask God to help me I'll be able to not say things that don't please Him.
But I'm afraid I'm still gonna laugh at inappropriate jokes and stuff, cause when one of my friends cracks a joke like that, I don't know what to do, should I just tell them I don't think that's funny or what?

[PwrChord]

That dream sounds like it must've been exhilirating, love that feeling when you wake up feeling really good and just don't know why

As for the two different people thing, I plead guilty as well. I've been dealing with it a really long time (wierd when a year and a half is a "really long time") and with daily devotions and prayer, you can feel your two people quarrel. Like a street fight with the good you vs the bad you. Without God, the good you is goin bare-nuckled vs the bad you. But with prayer and devotions, the odds start getting stacked in your favour, all the sudden the good you has a pair of brass nuckles and some nunchucks to fight off the bad you.

Wow that's a wierd analogy but it always seemed to make sense to me . I guess the bottom line of what I'm saying is just to keep your eyes on the prize and FEEL those bad habits slip away.