[Role Modlin]

I was "born into church" it seems. My earliest and oldest memories involve going to a little country Church of Christ in Roper, North Carolina. To me, it wasn't an option, it was what I did three times a week.
As I grew older and we moved to a bigger (yet still small) place, I continued to be involved in church whether I wanted to or not. By the time I was eleven, I was deeply indoctrinated in the ways of church.
I'm not saying this was bad, in fact, as an adult I realize that the foundation for my faith was being layed then, even though I had no clue.
I thank God that I was brought up in that environment. Back to age eleven though.
We had a preacher at that time that preached hell, and lots of it. I don't know if he enjoyed the topic or if he thought that was the most effective way to do it, but we heard all about hell. Needless to say, that made a very strong impression on me. I would wake up in the middle of the night, terrified that I was going to go to hell. It finally got to the point where I was too scared to go to sleep. Every night I would lay there in bed, wondering if this was the night that God was going to get me.
The idea of a personal relationship with Jesus Christ was something I had never heard. The honest truth is that I was so frightened that I nearly jumped into the baptistry one night. After that, I felt fine. I had been baptized, no more hell, and life went on.
As a teenager I still went to church, still did church things, I just didn't understand that as a Christian I had to be different. After all, I had been baptized, there was my insurance against hell, right? I got into the same kinds of things in high school that all of my non-churched friends didand I saw no problem with it.
I married a nice Baptist girl that did the same kinds of things I did and life was good. But the whole time, there was this nagging in the back of my mind. I knew something wasn't right. I just didn't know what it was. I was still in church, my wife and I both taught Sunday School, it didn't really matter if I was in the bar the night before did it? So I continued to play both sides of the fence.
I don't know exactly what woke me from my happy little delusion, but one day, out of the blue, I realized that my life was just about as screwed up as it could be. I decided to rededicate my life and go to Bible College, so I did. While there I met some really wonderful people who were totally on fire with the Lord. My wife and I plugged in and began to see exactly what we were missing. Unfortunately I was still immature and slightly idealistic and I left school dejected at what I perceived as a lack of true Christians in the church. i had been slighted and I felt as if all churches had been distorted from their original conditions.
I moved back home and in a matter of months I was back with the same crowd I had been with before I left. Shortly after that, my wife had our first son, and my life changed in more ways than I could have ever imagined. As I held my new-born son the words I had been hearing ever since I was his size came flooding back in on me. I finally understood exactly what I had been doing.
I begged God to forgive me and I promised Him that from that day on, I was going to let Him be the center of my life. I can't say that I've been 100% faithful, we all fall, but that's the awesome thing about GRACE. Everytime I fall, God reaches right down and picks me up. He never leaves my side and I have finally realized that with out Him, my life can never be complete.

[Lightknight]

Well, get ready for a pretty lame testimony. I never did any drugs or had any sins with girls that no gentleman would mention let alone do. I was saved around four. Lived a mediocre Christian life until 12 where i got radically rededicated to God and have been ever since. Not much use when preaching to inmates or druggies huh?

[iluvusr05]

well my testimony is, i was born and grew up in a christian home. lets just say i didnt pick the right friends in middle school so that got me into some trouble. i kinda got rid of them my freshman year, i was doin good just got confirmed (luthren), softmore year was okay till the very end, i started to party every weekend. i was addicted to it, it was the thing that made me "happy". that went one all summer till my junior year which is now. i started smokin weed and drinkin like no other, i also lost my virgity my softmore year. had one bad trip and just kinda kicked me in the butt and made me realize a bunch of things. i finally approched one of my friends saying i need help. she did, im goin to church on a regular basis now, im sober and drug free for 3 months now. that doesnt sound like that much but to me it does. when me and her talked that one day i realized how much i was hurting her and my other friends when they would hear about my activites that had happened that weekend. i hate it now, i regret everything i did. her bringing me to church agian has really changed my life, im finally happy agian. i enjoy life without having to be high. and also having such a great youth leader has helped so much. my old/still friend still parties every weekend, when i talk to her when shes "gone" i dont every think twice about ever goin back to that life. I LOVE GOD agian! getting back into my faith the right way. ive chosen new friends that are very Goddly, has helped alot. thats pretty much it. if u wanna talk to me about it or nething that has to do with any of that up there just PM me or im me on my AIM: iluvusr05. id be happy to talk!
Love and Peace
Amanda!

[i7nvd]

Sorry, guys: this is going to be LONG. I don't know how else to do it. Guess what? I was born into a Christian family. Both my parents are devout Catholics, and I went to Church almost every Sunday for the first 18 years of my life. However, for about 4 of those years, I was a non-believer. When I was younger, and going through elementary and junior high school, I was a loner. I had no friends, and nobody to talk to. I was picked on constantly, but I rarely fought back or responded in any way. When I was in grade 7, the cork came flying off the shaken champagne bottle. I exploded with anger after someone's comment to me in the middle of class. I flipped out, and got very violent with a lot of people in the class. I got continually depressed from that point on. I decided that a loving God would not let this happen to me, and therefore there was no God, and therefore there was no Heaven, and therefore no Hell. So I decided if I killed myself, it was the end of life, and a simple lack of consciousness for eternity - no concept of time, no awareness of the pain I'd have caused my family if I'd gone through of it, and no more feeling constant sadness.
However, my parents being the devout Catholics that they are forced me to go to Church until I was 18. Then I stopped completely. I was doing fine by that time - I'd been to a psychologist, and I learned some social skills, and I had a few good friends. I felt truly happy, and I did it all by myself. I did it with faith in myself, not faith in God. So, I was quite alright with where I was and what I was doing, and not going to Church.
I decided that I wanted to go away, to leave home for a while. I signed up for a trip that would take me across Canada with 10 other people my age for 7 months - from September to April. I got on the bus to go start on my trip on September 11th, 2002. Everyone in my group was friends for the first few days, but that was it. From there, it got progressively worse to the point where people were lying, stealing money, backstabbing, etc., etc. It felt like an incredibly long episode of Survivor. In in late November (by this time I was in British Columbia), I decided that I needed to get out. I'd spent almost 3 months with these people, and I'd be spending Christmas with them, too. That was too much for me. I'd been calling my family and friends almost daily, and it was a constant reminder of home. I decided that I would not stay in the program, and I'd go home for Christmas.
On December 9th, I got on a plane from Penticton to Vancouver. It was early in the morning - 4 or 5 a.m. - when I looked out the window behind me. I couldn't believe what I saw - I could see the sun just above the endless horizon of clouds, and in the same eye-full, I could see the stars - night and day in the same field of view. I decided at that moment: this perfection can NOT be called "natural" - there is an artist at work here.
When I arrived home, my friend Lauren completely encouraged me to participate in the Challenge movement (a Catholic movement for youth), and I decided to go ahead with it. During the weekend, the following story was read:
THE ROOM
In that place between wakefulness and dreams, I found myself in the room. There were no distinguishing features save for the one wall covered with small index-card files. They were like the ones in libraries that list titles by author or subject in alphabetical order. But these files, which stretched from floor to ceiling and seemingly endlessly in either direction, had very different headings. As I drew near the wall of files, the first to catch my attention was one that read "Girls I Have Liked". I opened it and began flipping through the cards. I quickly shut it, shocked to realize that I recognized the names written on each one.
And then without being told, I knew exactly where I was. This lifeless room with its small files was a crude catalog system for my life. Here were written the actions of my every moment, big and small, in a detail my memory couldn't match.
A sense of wonder and curiosity, coupled with horror, stirred within me as I began randomly opening files and exploring their content. Some brought joy and sweet memories; others a sense of shame and regret so intense that I would look over my shoulder to see if anyone was watching. A file named "Friends" was next to one marked "Friends I Have Betrayed".
The titles ranged from the mundane to the outright weird. "Books I Have Read", "Lies I Have Told", "Comfort I Have Given", "Jokes I Have Laughed At". Some were almost hilarious in their exactness: "Things I've Yelled at My Brothers." Others I couldn't laugh at: "Things I Have Done in My Anger", "Things I Have Muttered Under My Breath at My Parents". I never ceased to be surprised by the contents. Often there were many more cards than I expected. Sometimes fewer than I hoped.
I was overwhelmed by the sheer volume of the life I had lived. Could it be possible that I had the time in my 20 years to write each of these thousands or even millions of cards? But each card confirmed this truth. Each was written in my own handwriting. Each signed with my signature.
When I pulled out the file marked "Songs I Have Listened To", I realized the files grew to contain their contents. The cards were packed tightly, and yet after two or three yards, I hadn't found the end of the file. I shut it, shamed, not so much by the quality of music, but more by the vast amount of time I knew that file represented.
When I came to a file marked "Lustful Thoughts", I felt a chill run through my body. I pulled the file out only an inch, not willing to test its size, and drew out a card. I shuddered at its detailed content. I felt sick to think that such a moment had been recorded.
An almost animal rage broke on me. One thought dominated my mind: "No one must ever see these cards! No one must ever see this room! I have to destroy them!" In an insane frenzy I yanked the file out. Its size didn't matter now. I had to empty it and burn the cards. But as I took it at one end and began pounding it on the floor, I could not dislodge a single card. I became desperate and pulled out a card, only to find it as strong as steel when I tried to tear it.
Defeated and utterly helpless, I returned the file to its slot. Leaning my forehead against the wall, I let out a long, self-pitying sigh. And then I saw it. The title bore "People I Have Shared the Gospel With". The handle was brighter than those around it, newer, almost unused. I pulled on its handle and a small box not more than three inches long fell into my hands. I could count the cards it contained on one hand.
And then the tears came. I began to weep. Sobs so deep that they hurt started in my stomach and shook through me. I fell on my knees and cried. I cried out of shame, from the overwhelming shame of it all. The rows of file shelves swirled in my tear-filled eyes. No one must ever, ever know of this room. I must lock it up and hide the key.
But then as I pushed away the tears, I saw Him. No, please not Him. Not here. Oh, anyone but Jesus. I watched helplessly as He began to open the files and read the cards. I couldn't bear to watch His response. And in the moments I could bring myself to look at His face, I saw a sorrow deeper than my own. He seemed to intuitively go to the worst boxes. Why did He have to read every one?
Finally He turned and looked at me from across the room. He looked at me with pity in His eyes. But this was a pity that didn't anger me. I dropped my head, covered my face with my hands and began to cry again. He walked over and put His arm around me. He could have said so many things. But He didn't say a word. He just cried with me.
Then He got up and walked back to the wall of files. Starting at one end of the room, He took out a file and, one by one, began to sign His name over mine on each card.
"No!" I shouted rushing to Him. All I could find to say was "No, no," as I pulled the card from Him. His name shouldn't be on these cards. But there it was, written in red so rich, so dark, so alive. The name of Jesus covered mine. It was written with His blood.
He gently took the card back. He smiled a sad smile and began to sign the cards. I don't think I'll ever understand how He did it so quickly, but the next instant it seemed I heard Him close the last file and walk back to my side. He placed His hand on my shoulder and said, "It is finished."
I stood up, and He led me out of the room. There was no lock on its door. There were still cards to be written.

It was this story that made me realize what my religion was all about. I cried and cried and cried, like I'd never cried before. And it was simply out of pure joy that I was truly Home - rather that Jesus was truly home in my heart. I felt like the Prodigal Son!

It's because of that plane ride that I love singing God of Wonders - "Early in the morning, I will celebrate the light. When I stumble in the darkness, I will call your name by night"

Thanks for reading. I've enjoyed all your testimonies (though it took me hours to read :P)

[Jas de F]

well, I wrote this up early this year when I had to write a testimony to submit with a college application.
----

I was converted to Christianity at the age of four.

Scripture (1) says, "the righteous man [my father] walks in his integrity" and "his children are blessed after him." (2) I am a son in a Christian family, a son with a Christian father, and subsequently I am blessed. Spiritually, circumstances have therefore been very comfortable for me. Raised with the natural acceptance of the Christian God and the Christian Bible as whole truth, with church every Sunday, Christian friends and Christian parents, and home schooled with Christian curriculum...with all this, I am blessed. Yet that blessing requires that I display great caution; that caution has not always been present.

It is my belief, and my experience, that those converted to Christianity in their teenage or later years necessarily must view God with absolute awe for their conversion to take place. That awe can, and oftentimes does, surround God in the minds of youth raised in a Christian home; unfortunately, though, it is all to easy for that awe to be replaced by ennui. God becomes real, certainly, but dull. He cannot command one's attention, for after all one has heard about God since early childhood and has become too familiar with God. The beginning of Wisdom is the fear of God; familiarity breeds contempt, and how can one fear that which one scorns. So the child raised as a Christian may fall away, or at least begin to slip from the center of the Path.

That is what happened to me.

I believed in God. I professed to follow God. I was a Christian, albeit a not particularly devoted Christian. All this, and yet God bored me. Sin was easy because, although God was real, I was a Christian, purchased by the price of Jesus's blood, and if I died I'd go to heaven. God wouldn't hold my crimes against me for He was "faithful and just to forgive us our sins" if we "confess our sins." (3) I could sin, confess my sin, and go to sin again. Thus ran my reasoning. This began to change over time.

In late 2001, I became heavily involved in a pro-life organization called Sacramento Teens for Life. The group was devoutly Christian, opening each weekly meeting with worship, praying without ceasing at their outreaches at high schools and abortion clinics, and encouraging their members to closer relationships with the Lord Jesus.

I had already realized my lack of commitment to Christ, for I read that "by this we know that we know Him, if we keep His commandments." (4) I also came to grips with the fact that Jesus Christ died a gory death on the cross not to free me to sin, but to free me from sin. I now began to face that lack of commitment. Christ says, in part, that "unless you are converted and become as little children, you will by no means enter the kingdom of heaven." (5) God is awesome in the minds of children; as second oldest of ten children I had clearly seen that. As Christ says, "whoever humbles himself as this little child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven." (6) Children generally realize their lack of size and of ability, and thus tend to be naturally humble. As a child I had been converted; with the awe and humility of a child I now needed to follow Christ.

A great depression mantled me with the knowledge of the things I had done while confessing Christ. I had blasphemed His name. I had taken "the name of the Lord...in vain" by my deliberately sinful actions while professing Christianity and the Lord would not hold me "guiltless." (7) For a period I even blamed God, believing that he had abandoned me and "left me for the wreckage and the waste/on the empty beach of faith." (8)

In the end, I found release in the verse I had originally used to justify my actions. God said that if we "confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness." (9) I had been noticing only the first part of the verse, which speaks of forgiveness; I believed I would be forgiven, yet I had never truly been confessing my sins. Always, I had been confessing with the knowledge that I would willingly give in to temptation soon after. The verse states that if I confess I will be cleansed from "all unrighteousness." (10) And so I needed to truly confess, without keeping anything back, and I could be forgiven and even purified.

So I recommitted myself to Jesus Christ. No longer would my tongue simply confess Jesus Christ as Lord, but my knee would bend in emblem of the consignment of my actions to the service of Jesus Christ. (11) No longer would I simply confess my sins, I would also repent of my sins.

In the year since my rededication to Christ, my faith has grown far stronger. I now read the Scriptures with regularity and, perhaps more importantly, with enthusiasm and awe. My time has been devoted to Christ's service not just in worship, but in deed. My heart has been devoted to Christ's service not just in word, but in reality and in action. Forever, I will find comfort in Jesus's words, "These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world." (12) I am a Christian, and that means I follow Christ. You will know me by actions, and the world will know that I know Christ because I keep His commandments. (13)
-----
References

1. All scripture quotations are from the New King James translation.

2. Proverbs 20:7

3. I John 1:9.

4. I John 2:3.

5. Matthew 18:20.

6. Ibid.

7. Exodus 20:7.

8. Lyrics to song "Silence" from the album "Eleventh Hour" by Jars of Clay, 2002.

9. Matthew 18:20.

10. Ibid

11. Romans 14:11 and Phillipians 2:11.

12. John 16:33.

13. I John 2:3.

[Got Saved?]

I grew up in the church with the rest of my family, but didnt really enjoy socializing with all the other kids so I went upstairs to the 'big people' services. That is basically why I was so turned off to the whole idea of Christianity. I was like this (sleeping during church, not going to any youth oriented programs) for a long time, in fact since two years ago. Then one of my friends invited me to a youth group at her church (Parkwood Gospel Temple if that means anything to anyone). It was an awesomly powerful service and I immediately clicked with Christianity and God. Now I look forward to all four youth groups that I go to (lol, busy schedule I know, but it's worth it). I really appreciate this board by the way, thanks for creating it! lol!

[hockeydad]

God gets to us in all sorts of different ways.

I, too, grew up in the church but the church I went to never told the salvation message. I heard all the stories from the old testament and all the stories about Jesus but I never heard the salvation message. I guess I assumed that if a person was in churchm hearing those stories then they would be headed to heaven.

My dad was sick for a long time with cancer and I have vivid memories of going to bed at night specifically praying that he would be healed. When I was 15 my dad died. I cried like I have never seen anyone cry before. The pain was unbearable. And I blamed God. I had prayed and what did God do? Nothing. I quit going to church. I got into stuff I had no business getting into.

I got married when I was 20. A few years later we had a son but I was too intent on trying to satisfy my own life and a wife and baby weren't doing it, so I left them.

In spite of all I had been doing and thinking, I still kept an interest in spiritual things and I did some reading.

I remarried. My wife had a couple of miscarriages and I kept asking why? Then she gave birth to my daughter. The instant I saw her, the instant I saw those tiny, perfect hands and that beautiful little face, I was over come by this terrific sense of awe for everything that God had created and the thought came to me, "Who was I to question God's plan and God's reason for who should live and who should die?" At that time, I went home and prayed the sinner's prayer, committing myself and my family to God.

My daughter is 17 and will graduate in the spring. My wife and I have been married for 21 years. We also have a 14 year old daughter and an 11 year old son. They all know and love the Lord.

Sure, God has blessed us but being saved doesn't put an instant end to our struggles here on earth. There are still consequences for my actions. My oldest son is now 24 and still has not completely forgiven me for leaving him and his mother. He does not know the Lord. He struggles with and is involved in some of the things I had problems with. All I can to is love him, accept him and continue to pray for him.

[LeftyStephie]

Ok, I posted this on the Webboard (www.derekwebb.com/phpBB2) so some of you may have already read it. Nevertheless, here you go.

used to think that going to church and taking an active roll within the church was enough to prove my salvation. From the day I was born, my parents had me in church, and they were active workers also. When I was twelve, I walked the short isle of my eight-pewed church and told a guest speaker that I wanted to be baptized. I knew exactly what questions he would ask: “Have you asked Jesus into your heart?” To that I nodded yes. And not long afterwards, I was baptized, and went on with life as usual.

It wasn’t too much longer before my parents announced that they were divorcing. I remember thinking that I’d wished they hadn’t told me, and instead someone just moved out. At least then, I wouldn’t have had to talk about it. That was April. That summer, I went to San Angelo, as I did every summer, to split time with my two sets of grandparents. At some point in July, I had to have emergency surgery. My dad drove all night to San Angelo, and there, in my hospital room, where I was cornered and could go no where, he told me that he was in love with and was now dating our babysitter. Life as I knew it would never be the same.

In October of the same year, my parents’ divorce was final, and my stepmother moved into our home. In November, they were married. The abuse began immediately. I will never forget one instance where my dad was out of town on business and I was grounded for some reason (which wasn’t odd, because I was always grounded) and my dad’s now fiancé told me to do the dishes. We’d just moved into a new house, and so everything was still boxed up for the most part, and I had trouble finding dish soap. Finally giving up, I decided that the best way to get the dishes as clean as possible until soap could be found would be to wash them in the hottest water I could stand. I was just finishing when she walked into the kitchen and abruptly asked what I was doing. I started to explain about the situation, but she immediately began screaming and yelling at me. I remember yelling back something like, “You’re not listening to me!” and she grabbed a metal spatchula and slapped me across the face with it, knocking me to the ground. I remember begging to call my mother, to which was answered, “She doesn’t want you, otherwise you wouldn’t be my problem.”

The months and years of those types of incidents mounted on top of one another. The humiliation of the abuse, both physically and mentally, and with my dad turning a blind eye, saying that I needed this treatment so that I could be controlled, became nearly unbearable.

Now, some people turn to drugs in these types of situations. I did, a little. Some turn to alcohol. I did that a lot. But my drug of choice was sex. After determining that I could not find love in the comforts of the home I lived in, and assuming that since my mother “left” me to deal with this pain, I ran straight into the arms of any man who would promise to love me, even if that love only lasted half an hour. At age 15, I was way beyond my years.

I was still active in church… in fact, I was the president of our local association’s youth association, and there were 8 and 9 year old girls spread over west Texas and New Mexico who looked up to me in a major way. That didn’t faze me.

I graduated from high school on time and with honors, despite being kicked out of my dad’s house at age 17. I even entered college. I attended Texas Tech for one semester… or at least I was enrolled there. I returned to San Antonio and resumed my partying ways, while still mastering the art of faking out every congregation I attended church with.

I moved way too many times to count before I landed back in my mother’s home and Tiffany brought me to Northridge Park. I even continued to play church here for about a year until I found myself standing face to face with the truth at a Christian rock concert. The lyrics to the song playing were, “There must be some mistake. I’m not worth the price You paid…” Never before had I heard words for what my heart was screaming. I did not feel worthy in the least of any bit of goodness in my life… of any bit of love in my life… and so I’d rejected it by putting on mask after mask.

But there, God met me right where I was standing. It was as if He were standing there, staring directly into my eyes, holding His hand out in front of me, saying, “Ok, Stephanie, it’s time to listen to what I have to say. I love you despite what you believe, and My love is more powerful than your hurt.” Some of you might be thinking, “Well, duh!” in your heads right now, but I don’t think I’d ever thought of God as a loving God. He was always a Judge with a gavel ready to bang me over the head, so to think that He loved me for whom I was at that very moment was completely flooring for me.

Since that time, I’ve caught myself running in all sorts of directions, but at every turn, there He is, with His hands out just as before. He’s given me an earnest desire to forgive my stepmother and dad for all that occurred while I was living with them, and I’m still working on that. He’s even given me the power to overcome the negativity that comes with an alcoholic mother. Sex isn’t a needed drug anymore, because I’m no longer trying to fill that hole. And although I might forget it from time to time, I’m having an affair with a Lover more fulfilling than any human has ever provided.

[1twelve2]

What an appropriate call: "get out of your comfort zone"

Here it goes...

My salvation story has no pivotal moment or epiphanic moment. I didn't answer an altar call. In fact, I'm still trying to figure out exactly when I answered.

[this may seem more of a life story, but since I'm not a "young" christian, it's gonna be long...]

I knew Jesus all my life. I grew up in the church. Overall, I had a good experience with the church as a child, and I had a good childhood with a good family.

Everything was peachy until some bad things happened, so our family had to move when I was eight.

Anyway, so I didn't really have any close neighborhood friends for a year after the move. So I hung out with my dad a lot. He was so awesome. He would call me every Saturday and asked me if I was bored. Then he would drive all the way back from the city to pick me up. He would take me out to lunch at McDonald's, and he would take me to the city and we would hang out. If he couldn't take me, he would get my brother to take me. My dad was my best friend. And one of the sweetest men who ever lived.

There was this one place he always took me b/c I absolutely loved it there. The Franklin Institute. Now as an adult, I realize how much he must of loved me to visit a kids' science museum 30 times...

When I was in sixth grade, I started to become really good friends with my neighbor, Judy. I had known her for a couple of years, but I decided I didn't like her. LoL. But our parents saw too lonely children, about the same age, living in the same neighborhood...the rest is history.

So I started spending more time on the weekends with Judy, and less time with Dad. This is where God's timing starts to come into play...

Then on one summer afternoon in August 1997, I was playing Nintendo with Judy, I get a call from Judy's mom. Dad's in the hospital - he fell while jogging.

Now Dad had been working out a lot around that time b/c he was middle-aged and he was beginning to develop heart disease. So exercise and a good diet was the prescription.

I figured he broke his leg or something, no big deal. We'll visit dad, sign his cast, and go back to Super Mario.

So I went with Judy's family to the hospital. I remember driving in, seeing my entire family sitting or standing on the curb, waiting for us with somber expressions.

I never saw my brother cry - ever. And after this moment, I never did again. He told me Dad died from a heart attack.

I was in shock, and I didn't know what to do, so I cried.

I'm sorry, I'm gonna cut this very emotional event short to get to the point...

I went through really hard middle-school years. But God gave me Judy and her family to help me. By the grace of God, Judy happened to come into my life at the right moment.

I had to become a mature person really quickly. I cried by myself, and I asked God for help all the time. I was an emotional mess. I was maniac-depressive throughout middleschool. God really got me through that time, and always provided me with great ppl around me.

I wholeheartedly put my trust and faith in God after my Dad passed. I also endured two years with an unloving youth group. I was an outcast in my own youth group.

I really wanted to see change, and I tried to make it happen in the only way I knew how as a 13-yr old: pray. Finally, I just couldn't take the lonely praise and worship services, all the times at lunch where I hid and ate by myself, and just all the crap. That wasn't love. I knew there was something better. I had experienced true fellowship before. I longed for it.

In Dec 1999, Judy invited me to see a band called Jars of Clay. Her youth group was going, and it was only $10, so I was in. I fell in love with Jars, and they have been a vital part of my walk ever since. And her youth group was like a breath of fresh air. People actually interacted with everyone, and there was LOVE. So I started to become more involved with this youth group gradually, as I was gradually getting less involved with my old one.

Bethel UMYF (Judy's youth group) is where the journey of mature faith really started. I started to really grow in Christ there, and get closer with the people there. I made lifelong friends there. It was a vital lifeline and spiritual tree all throughout high school.

Looking back, especially at my teenage years, I notice how God used people. It is not the church as a building that draws people in, it is the people. I realize how strong an impact we can have on one another. I realize God is forever faithful. Agape Love is POWERFUL. Grace is liberating.

I also notice how God used trials to build me up and how he used the bad for good. I could not imagine my life without Jesus. If he didn't die for me, I wouldn't have made it through b/c I wouldn't have been able to have a relationship with Him. I thought many times of suicide in my teenage years, but each time I was reminded that I was bought at price.

So that's my testimony. It's lengthy, dis-jointed, but it's evidence of the grace and power of God in my life. Praise be to God.

[isshedeadyet?]

I had never felt God before, while a couple of times, when I would heard Alive ny P.O.D, I would feel something. But, I grew up going to church and I've always believed in God and that Jesus died for my sins and was raised on the third day. But I never asked him into my heart and be lord over me. So my Mom Was going to these classes that my grandparents were doing. So I went to one and it made me think alot. About my thinking and that I should pray alot more. And then we drew these swords to help us stop our bad thinking, So you were to put who you were and your desires in the handle and Your scripture in the blade. so I put down that I was "living for him" And My desires were "freedom, happiness, and peace." And my Scripture was 2 Cor. 5:15. And after I made it, Something was moving me to try to make these happen, So I started thinking about it. And on the way home, I was talking to my Mom about that I never have felt God and that I want to, and I think it's because I never asked Jesus into my heart, But I don't know how. So She said that that would be a good way, And that I should talk to someone about it, Maybe my step-Dad[ but his like a real Dad to me] or my step brother[but his like a real brother to me] Anyway, So that night I was talking to my Brother that I never had felt God before, and that I never asked Jesus into my heart. But I want to, But again I don't know how. So he said that If I believe that Jesus died for my sins on the cross and God raised him on the third day. I should pray out load: "Jesus, I believe that you died for my sins on the cross, and God raised you up on the third day. And I ask you into my heart and be lord over me. Amen". So that night before I went to bed I prayed that. And right after, I felt really calm and peaceful and excited at the same time. So I ran downstairs to tell my Mom and she was really happy about it. And now I feel complete. I believe that My brother was moved by God to talk to me about that. And he was the answer to my prayers. And I thank him for that. God has bless'd me with a great family.

[rockon_jesus_19]

here's my story~

one day I heard my friend talking about a concert called atf or acquire the fire. It sounded really cool.....sooooooo, well that was like 5 months before. Anywayz, I met a guy, he changed me. I went from a 3.8 GPA to a 2.7 in 4 months. I started slacking and disrespecting my parents. I startd feeling like there was no hope for me and I started hurting myself........................................................................................
.................................................................................................
FINALLY it was time for ATF! on Friday April 30th 2004 @ 9:42pm I gave my heart to God and totally changed.

[Meggie moo moo]

I've only been a true Christian a few months now.

What happened was I was in a stereotyped addicts and junkie public high school, Ballarat Vic Australia. It was the start of the year in year 8 when I was cast into a long, dreary, monotonous spell of depression. Nothing seemed worth anything. At this place, reputation was everything, I was content with my position on the social chain, yet there was something lacking. Everyday would be the same old patrol squads of those girls whom are known to turn up to free dress days in something pink and/or fluffy, the ones prone to the detrimental lifestyle of verbal abuse and bullying. And there was I, standing with my head constantly staring at the floor, wearing nothing but black, an arbitrary darkness so comforting. I had friends, yet they were not on the level they needed to be to understand my hazardous concepts of death, they just didn't know why i was like i was.

Then, halfway through the year, I moved schools to a Christian College, totally unforseen. I don't know why i choose to move to a place so totally out of my league, a place i didn't belong. But after the last half of that year(involving various mishaps, even getting arrested), I felt the overwhelming presence of GOD. Him hailing from the sky to shower his love upon these people. I just changed. I saw something so relevant to existence, so significant I was not even worthy as to live here on this Earth. Why had I been so ignorant?!? In the words of a great teen anarchist I know; "apathy has become the downfall of society." So I decided to make a life for Christ. I started going to Youth group and have stuck at it. I am yet to attend church due to travel inconvenience reasons, yet I am trying hard to find a solution.

One fundamental that touched me about Christianity was the will that everyone had to speak up and proclaim their love for god. And I couldn't get enough of the music. Being a chronic insomniac, I'd stay up all night listening to the sweetest songs professing the righteous ways of Christ. And it brainwashed me. I've never felt so right in my life.

Im in year 9 now.

I would appreciate it greatly if anyone would individually message me, because I can't get enough of being in the warm enclosure of Christianity, I need to talk to as many people as i can and tell them how much I really do love God. Once I was so down on life I tended to cut my arms and wrists, but God got me through that time.
moochy_moochy@hotmail.com

God bless

[guitarflash]

hey, my faith went kinda all over the place, if u get me, so hang tight, this'll be confusing.

i grew up in a Christian home. Ya, my dad's a pastor, has 213 theo books in the basement. anyway, i was, when very young, "saved" (there are a couple of these). I went to chruch w/ my parents, i was the good boy, always sang at the top of my voice, etc. That was trash. I didnt know what i was doing, saying, or implying, until one sunday when i heard the pastor mention that there would be a baptism service in a couple of weeks. I got excited, but for the wrong reason. I thought i had heard the call of God, so i got baptised. Maybe in the physical, but my insides were stinkin. I was "saved" for a while, and started slipping. Then, once more into the school year, i heard my friends talking about Aquire the Fire. If you have never been, GO!!!!!!!!!! It is amazing. I went, spent 68 $, for the sole purpose of seeing thousand foot krutch play. (I LOVE TFK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!). Then i heard the speaking. Oh, man. i felt God's power. i became saved. for real. It was great. Until i met ryley. He was funny, likeable, and evil. I thought i wouldn't be influenced. I was dead wrong. I started talking like him (using words such as a**, sh**, and he**), thinking like him (as in female anatomy type thinking) and getting his attitude (authority SUCKS!!!!!!). My christian walk went downhill from there. I was, as far as faith goes, the stinkiest, smelliest, ugliest, worst possible soul there was. until, one night, when i was trying to sleep. THe normal way i go to sleep is, i sing songs in my head, think pleasant thoughts and such until i fell asleep. The one night, i was right in the middle of TFKs "this is a call", when out of the blue, BAM!!!!! I felt the loss of my soul, the desperation for God's love: in short, (okay, long) i felt God's power and anger towards me, and i couldn't bear it. I had felt hints before, but i wopuld just run from them. I wasn't gettin the message, until then, when i really did get saved. And i love it. At ATF, the speaker Ron something or other, said that every morning he stays in bed, and has a little down time w/ God. I suddenly remembered that, and every morning, and most nights, i take sleeping time away and spend it in God's glory. AMEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[abreathofgod]

Hey Ethan here. I am 13 yrs old and I will be glad to give my deep tetimony.

I grew up with my mom and dad and brother. Me my mon and brother went to Church. My dad never comes but we pray for him to accept Jesus. But back to the testimony. I was like most little kids. So full of cheer and joy. An was o haapy for God. As a child you thought you knew it all until you grew up and realized the truth about Jesus. But I grew up in Alabama in a wonderful Church. It was a great Church. Then I moved to Missouri which is where i am located right now. we are now in the best Church ive been in. But I came not as attached to God as I used to be. It just got worse. I beame depressed and gothic. Then I got out of that and I cam eback to God then I slipped so horribally. I became caught up in what I think is the worst thing ever. Pornography! I hate it so much. It took my life away. I am lucky to have gotten help. I dont wanna sound like a preacher here but listen. Dont get caught up in that crap. It will destroy you so fast. All it takes is one time. I think it is probally more addictive than heroine. It will kill you. And now I have to live with that. It kill me to know I did that. But then I came back to God again and slipped away yet another time. then I just felt God pullin me in close and hugging me and saying to me that He loved me and would never let me go. So I came back now so attached to God and never to leave again. I am nowin my Youth's Praise and Worship band. And Glory to God I am back. In the family.

[Kato]

Heya, I'm Jason and I'm 15

About 3-4 years ago, I was at the point where I was doing all the things that were considered 'cool'. Cursing every other word, catching things on fire (I still do that, but it a contained area ) And almost even loosing my virginity (At 11!!).

But three years ago a friend of mine invited me to a local church, and from the first day I was hooked. I just felt happy there, and started to believe in God, and starting a new relationship with him. Now, I feel like there's nothing more I could want... For once in my life I have absolutly everything I want, but I look back at it, and I realize, all I want in my life now, is God!.. My mom was talking to me the other day, and she realized, anything that I've wanted in atleast the past year, was either to glorify God (such as guitar ) or to keep me alive (woo, go taco bell! lol) But now my life has grown so much, and I just love God with all my heart now, I'm now the worship leader for my youth group, and I'm starting to play backup for the church worship team.