Are you serious‼? A Chronicle of Incredulity and Wonder.

**beanbag** · 11-03-2009, 11:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The wirerat

Trust me, I know what you mean, about wanting to do what you want, even if financially it may not make sense. I think your dad brings a lot of wisdom tho, in doing something lucrative to save up.

As far as marriage goes, I think that when, and if you decide to get married, that God will either change your heart, and prepare you for it, or provide a way for you to do what you want. Not all marriages are the same. You may get married and never have kids, which provides time for you to pursue your dreams. Or you could have kids and find that your goals and dreams are to make them successful Godly kids. You never know.

well, he wants me to go to law school. and then practice law. if I do go to law school (I don't really want to) I will be going into international human rights. not exactly the most lucrative path to take.

and I think when it comes to marriage, I am struggling with wanting to get married some day but also at looking at the marriages around me that are either so stressful or so one-sided in terms of give and take. and I do want kids. I plan to have kids whether or not I ever get married. (adoption, of course.)

**DaGeek** · 11-03-2009, 11:29 PM

Just wanna throw this out there:

Not all marriages are one-sided, and not all cause the mom to grow old and bitter and have her life revolve around the dad and kids. Definitely not. My mom is one of those moms, and my mom and dad, while they don't have a perfect marriage by any means, are not incredibly lopsided. Just want to encourage you that you *can* have a healthy, productive marriage for its entirety, and marriage doesn't mean you're chained down

.

**The wirerat** · 11-03-2009, 11:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by beanbag

well, he wants me to go to law school. and then practice law. if I do go to law school (I don't really want to) I will be going into international human rights. not exactly the most lucrative path to take.

Yeah definitely not. Why law school specifically?

Quote:

and I think when it comes to marriage, I am struggling with wanting to get married some day but also at looking at the marriages around me that are either so stressful or so one-sided in terms of give and take. and I do want kids. I plan to have kids whether or not I ever get married. (adoption, of course.)

I'm in a serious relationship and I struggle with that as well. My advice on that is to look at those marriages as lessons for you. Learn why they are the way they are and try to apply things to your future marriage, and relationship so that it doesn't happen. I completely agree with DaGeek in that not all marriages are one sided. I think really that start with the relationship you have before marriage. That relationship NEEDS to be give and take evenly, otherwise you are setting yourself up for failure. IF you notice that problem, correct it then, it will be a lot easier.
Of course I'm saying this and I'm not married, so I could totally be wrong on this.
Right now, my relationship feels like a lot of give and not enough take. Part of the issue is her availability and ability to call, text, write, ect. I have more time on my hands, and am able to give her what she needs. Its caused issues, but I'm hoping that we will be able to improve that as time goes on. She knows how I feel, and I think thats important, she wants to fix it, but just can't right now with the demands of her job.

Remember, marriage is a partnership, and no partnership goes well one-sided.

**beanbag** · 11-04-2009, 06:59 PM

Paul: my mom isn't old and bitter. in fact, I know she's happy with many of her choices. (and she looks about 10 years younger than she really is. =)) I guess I am more unhappy for her, but that speaks more to my ambitions and my values than it does my mom's. she made her choices and she doesn't regret them. however, that said--I adore my dad, so don't get me wrong--my dad is a very demanding person to live with. a lot of it is cultural, though.

Andrew: well. I thought I wanted to be a lawyer up into my late teens. being a lawyer is not so much the problem for me as is going to law school. I really don't want to sit through a year of american law and all of these foundational classes that will be totally irrelevant to me as someone with a potential future in international human rights law. being a human rights lawyer is second best, to me. that's why law school, specifically. and my dad wouldn't mind if I wanted to be a doctor or an engineer (medicine, science and law are the "big three" in the middle east) but he knows I hate blood and math, and he has told me countless times he thinks I would be a great lawyer. mostly because I argue. a lot. =D

and, I understand all of the things you are saying, and I agree. what I am saying is that even though some people may start out with the best of intentions, things don't always play out that way. that's what I am afraid of.

in other news: I had kind of a slow day with my kids, but that meant a productive day for grad school stuff! =D I am slowly gathering all of the pieces together. if anyone would like to volunteer to plough through some hefty and not-so-hefty writing samples, I would be eternally in your debt.

**beanbag** · 11-05-2009, 12:39 AM

graduate school, graduate school, you're sucking out my brain!
graduate school, graduate school, won't you please refrain!
I'm sick of all the statements; I just want to sit in the basement
of the NES department and decipher random carvings
that's all!

I just needed to distract myself a little bit. I'm working on my statement of purpose and I am afraid it's crap. =\

I mean...not crap like awful writing (my best friend loves it) but crap like, they're going to read it and think I am totally not qualified or not serious enough, or not musty and fusty and dusty and dry enough. gah!

**The wirerat** · 11-05-2009, 08:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by beanbag

Andrew: well. I thought I wanted to be a lawyer up into my late teens. being a lawyer is not so much the problem for me as is going to law school. I really don't want to sit through a year of american law and all of these foundational classes that will be totally irrelevant to me as someone with a potential future in international human rights law. being a human rights lawyer is second best, to me. that's why law school, specifically. and my dad wouldn't mind if I wanted to be a doctor or an engineer (medicine, science and law are the "big three" in the middle east) but he knows I hate blood and math, and he has told me countless times he thinks I would be a great lawyer. mostly because I argue. a lot. =D

My dad was actually gonna be a lawyer, then he attended a computer science class to fulfill a science requirement, and the rest, is history. I've heard about the cultural stigma of becoming a doctor, engineer, or lawyer in the Middle East. I don't really understand it, but I can't question it either as an outsider, simply not my place.
I've been told I'd make a good investigator, but that I'm horrible at arguing a point.
As far as the sitting through a year of American Law, you could easily skip that by studying abroad, perhaps in Europe or something.

Quote:

and, I understand all of the things you are saying, and I agree. what I am saying is that even though some people may start out with the best of intentions, things don't always play out that way. that's what I am afraid of.

Thats a step of faith you have to make. And I think that when the time comes, if the times comes, that God will prepare you to make that step of faith.

Quote:

if anyone would like to volunteer to plough through some hefty and not-so-hefty writing samples, I would be eternally in your debt.

I'll volunteer

**beanbag** · 11-05-2009, 10:37 AM

thanks Andrew. (and Drew, too. =)) I'll let you guys know when i come up with something workable. my best friend kept saying she likes it how it is, so she can't be very helpful. this is all so confusing! they don't even have a page limit/word limit on the prompt. (I'm currently at 2.5 pages single-spaced.)

luvinjesus · 11-05-2009, 10:50 AM

I'll volunteer as well, considering I am a future writing teacher. This way I can get in as much practice before I take my Praxis Exam.

**beanbag** · 11-05-2009, 09:28 PM

thanks. you guys are wonderful. =D

**beanbag** · 11-05-2009, 10:11 PM

so. I woke up this morning at a normal time. I got up, put my clothes in the wash, did some cleaning, did some exercise, and went to check my clothes. the washer was stopped halfway through the spin cycle, and I thought, "crap! my washer is broken and I can't afford a new one!" I decided I'd deal with the drama later, and went to take a shower. I walked into my bathroom and stood there for a second looking at the shower, and a terrible thought crossed my mind. I decided to try the sink, just to allay my fears. no water came out. I thought, "crap! what the heck am I supposed to do? I have to leave in less than an hour and I am sweaty and gross!" I called management and they said, "yes, we had to shut down the line." thanks for the warning, management.

there was no way I was going to go to work without showering, but I had no idea what to do. I had a small amount of water in my water bottle, there was barely any in the pitcher in the fridge, and none of the faucets were working. (obviously.) I remembered all of a sudden that my roommates always have water in their hot water pot, so I went to check it. sure enough, there was a bit of water. I then realized that the washer had stopped partially into the spin cycle, so...I grabbed a couple of cups from the sink, filled them with water from the washer, and went off to do my best.

long story short: I have a fair amount of laundry detergent in my hair and I am ready for a for-real shower. AND they are shutting off the water again tomorrow. all day long. starting at 8. if ever a time was appropriate to say "fml," it would be now.

bravesfan007 · 11-06-2009, 11:09 AM

At least you smelled fresh and clean.

**beanbag** · 11-06-2009, 06:40 PM

yes, fresh and clean like laundry detergent. yayy.

FTS · 11-06-2009, 07:42 PM

Worse things to smell like than laundry detergent

People probably just thought you had really freshly washed clothes!

**beanbag** · 11-06-2009, 10:49 PM

haha. well. at least the story of my washing machine escapes made my coworkers laugh. there had to be some good in it!

I think I need more of a life than sitting around at home on friday night munching on tortilla chips and watching bewitched on hulu. then again, I have to be at the office at 6:30 tomorrow morning. the things I do for my kids..!

gg7 · 11-06-2009, 11:38 PM

Yikes, that is way too early to be up on a Saturday morning.