["BrooksB"]

A Beautiful Dessertion

Regressing our indignation,
Insinuation’s bowels bloom to form
A simple hypothesis of power,
Slippery, as a cartoon’s banana peel,
We hold onto our simple thoughts
As incredibly as a senator.
I misconstrued them
But became indecisive
And desperate
Like hills
Mourning the loss of a sunset
Only
because it was beautiful.

[RobertF]

This is a great poem, Brooks. Not as good as your last poem "Hope for Better Things" but it's good. My only advice is to maybe change the last few lines. I'm not a big fan of repetition, especially when the repetition is like three lines apart, and when it's something like "because it was beautiful". That's my only advice. Good stuff, Brooks.

Now if you'd be so nice, you can go critique my new poem, consciousness as consciousness of consciousness. Thanks.

["BrooksB"]

I see what you mean. The 1st "Because it was beautiful" is cut out now.