Los Cucarachas de Amor

**Leboman** · 08-31-2003, 11:53 AM

August 31, 2003- 12:50 PM EST

Well, things at church went smooth, I guess. I only played three songs and, lucky for me, the majority of the members there are old and sing really slow. I hit a few wrong keys, but they weren't counting and I don't think God was either. It was really out of my comfort zone, but sometimes God calls us to go into those places and serve too, doesn't He?
Tonight I'll be back at Stoneybrook and slinging my guitar so I'll feel much more at ease.
Well, let me go eat some fishsticks, what a beautiful way to spend a Sunday afternoon, eh?

nckcool_11 · 08-31-2003, 08:23 PM

hey. im posting again.
thats pretty cool. ur praise band sounds really cool. anyway i have a short attention span so i forget stuff. anyway have fun posting.

by the way im just curios. are u really fat or just saying so. sry just curious (and wierd)

**Leboman** · 08-31-2003, 11:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nckcool_11

by the way im just curios. are u really fat or just saying so. sry just curious (and wierd)

I could stand to lose a few pounds, but fortunately I'm 6'4" so I carry my weight pretty well.

**Leboman** · 08-31-2003, 11:14 PM

September 1, 2003- 12:07 AM EST

I really should be in bed, but I have Monday off for Labor Day. I'm probably gonna sit up for a while and read or watch tv. Usually there are some pretty good true crime shows on this hour of the night and I dig watching that kind of stuff.
My wife's birthday is on Wednesday and I'm getting her "Sleeping Beauty" on DVD. We're kinda nuts for Disney movies, well, some of them anyway. I'm looking forward to the "Lion King" special edition DVD coming out in October and my boys are wanting "Finding Nemo" to hurry up and come out but they have to wait until November for that one.
We watch a lot of movies together as a family. We're all big Pixar fans and we watch those over and over again. I also dig "Mulan" and "The Emporer's New Groove", but then, I like David Spade.
Don't have a whole heck of a lot to say right now. I think I'm gonna write my autobiography on this thing as I go along. Don't know that it'll be too interesting but I read somewhere once that everybody ought to at least try to write their life story. Maybe I'll learn something from it.
Later guys and gals.

Praisey · 08-31-2003, 11:45 PM

hey! told you i'd say hi

i loved Finding Nemo... especially my nephew who is 2 years old... we watched it in the movie house, it was his first time to watch cartoons in a big screen so it was such an experience for him...

when the first fish came out on the screen... he screamed so loud and said FISH!! FISH!! hehehe

everybody there turned and looked at us... hehehe thought i'd share that

**Leboman** · 08-31-2003, 11:56 PM

My youngest son (Chris) is two and a half years old and he loves Nemo. I went to Wal-Mart and bought him the shark from the movie. He shakes his tail and says "Fish aren't food, fish are friends." Really strange toy but Chris loves it.

Praisey · 09-01-2003, 12:00 AM

hehe that's cute!!

**Leboman** · 09-01-2003, 12:08 AM

September 1, 2003- 1:03 AM EST

Okay, it's after 1 and I'm still up swapping posts with Praisey (hi there).
I'm really going to go this time because my eyes are starting to grow heavy with sleep. I wish you all a good night, or morning, depending on where you are right now. I will begin my autobiography for real later on today, after I have had five or six hours of sleep. My story is one of valleys and mountains, of hills climbed and rings lost. There were the hobbits and the elf, but they didn't come into the picture until much later. And by that time Jason had already sliced off Freddy's head and.......or maybe that was someone else, I'm really having a tough time staying awake so I will go.
Remember that Jesus loves you and so do I.

**Leboman** · 09-01-2003, 11:06 AM

September 1, 2003- 11:43 AM EST

Whew, I'm finally awake and moving. The boys let me sleep until 10 this morning. They got up and quietly watched television until I crawled out of bed. Well, I actually crawled off the couch because that's where I crashed this morning.
I was gonna work on writing some sort of autobiographical thing in here but I really don't have the time to start it right now. I've already shared some of the basics in those surveys I filled out but here are a few more facts that I don't believe have been shared yet.

I have one brother who turned 29 this year. He lives in Raleigh, NC with his wife. He is probably the best artist I have ever met, and I'm not just saying that cause he's my brother. He has a gift.
My sister's name is BAM and she just turned 21. She's a junior at East Carolina University and is majoring in communications. She says that she wants to go to the Culinary Institute of America when she graduates and train to be a chef. She can cook, I'll tell you that. BAM can also play the piano with emotion that I'll never have, but she never thinks it's good enough.
Me? Well, I can draw and paint, but not as good as my bro. I can also play the piano, but nowhere near as good as BAM. We do all share a common characteristic though, we all have this twisted belief that we're not good enough. I guess you could say that we all lack self-esteem. I don't know why either, because it's obvious that all three of us have gifts, gifts that some people would love to have.
It would be incredibly difficult for me to sit here and explain why we are the way we are in just a few short lines. It would also sound like I was trying to place balme, and I really don't intend to do that. BUT, it is my belief that our father is somewhat responsible, especially in my siblings' situations.
Our father is one of those people you see at church and think, "Wow, what a nice, Christian fellow." He has a lot of people fooled, he really does. The sad thing is that he doesn't want to take responsibility for the way he is either. He says that he can't help it. Me? Well, I finally realized that I can't blame my imperfections and negative thoughts entirely on him. I am a Christian now, and I have the Spirit of God living inside me. That is what I have to let rule my life now, not the anger and hate from a distant and abusive father. Although his actions proabably did cause me to be some of the thngs I am, God has the ability to change me and make something else. And He has. My heavenly Father has fixed all the things that my earthly one messed up.
Whew, that was more than I originally wanted to share this morning, but there it is. Anyone with similar feelings is welcome to comment. I've found that talking about it has really helped me to get past it.
Anyways, let me get up and go help Robin clean the kitchen, we're having her birthday cook-out today.

**Leboman** · 09-01-2003, 09:59 PM

September 1, 2003- 10:55 PM EST

I haven't posted a lot today, been trying to help my wife out since we were both off from work. We grilled ribs for dinner, what a bargain.
I have been toying with the idea of writing a "e-book" and posting the chapters here in my blog. I've kinda got a story already worked up and I'm trying to decide the best way to write it.
I had an idea where I would do a chapter and then let someone else write the next one, and so on. Kinda like the radio play they're doing in SuperMonkey's blog. I don't know yet, there really aren't a whole lot of folks posting in here yet so I might wait and see what happens.

**Leboman** · 09-01-2003, 10:00 PM

If this is the devil, he is in so much trouble....

**Leboman** · 09-01-2003, 10:03 PM

I like this one too.

Praisey · 09-02-2003, 12:45 AM

i have the same experience with my dad... but the only difference is... he's not a christian like your dad...

i grew up being compared to a dead sister which was the apple of his eye... and we were totally different in terms of personality... she was introvert... i'm an extrover... but i would like to think i'm in the middle... coz sometimes i treasure being alone hehe..

anyways, in my college years i was really distant and even angry and rebellious toward my dad... but a friend of mine said that staying angry with him has an effect on my relationship with my Heavenly Father... how i view my earthly dad is how i will view my Heavenly Dad too... that woke me up big time...

so i came to our Father and confessed feelings of hurt and anger and pride... and asked Him to help me understand and even love my dad... which at that time was a very hard thing to do... and even though i didn't feel like it i verbally said i forgive my dad for all that he has put m through...

yep it does affect our self-esteem huh... coz i always felt that i was never good enough and that there will always be someone better than me... so i wasn't really confident about the gifts that God gave me... sometimes i still lack confidence... but i think it's a good thing... coz that makes me totally dependent on God, more than on what i can do

whoops... sorry i rambled on! hehehe i should've posted this in my blog hehe sowwy!!!

**Leboman** · 09-02-2003, 04:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Praisey

i have the same experience with my dad... but the only difference is... he's not a christian like your dad...

whoops... sorry i rambled on! hehehe i should've posted this in my blog hehe sowwy!!!

I really don't believe my father is a Christian. He doesn't exhibit any of the characteristics of someone changed by the Holy Spirit. I believe he's just playing a part. But I'll talk more about that later, I've got to go to work.

Oh, you can post anything in here that you want. Ramble away....

**Leboman** · 09-02-2003, 05:32 PM

September 2, 2003- 6:26 PM EST

Whoopie. I just felt like saying Whoopie, I don't know why. I have the next two days off but have to work Friday, Saturday and Sunday. Hopefully we'll be ending these twelve hour shifts before too long, they really make for a long day.
I was talking about my father. I made the comment that I didn't believe he was really a Christian. I don't want to sound judgemental but I really don't see how he could be. He goes to church and he knows the Bible, but I learned a long time ago that knowledge doesn't save you. Neither does participation in church things. He cusses and talks abusively to his family and has absolutely no remorse about it all. A Christian wouldn't do that. Once again, I'm not placing blame on my father for the things I've done, but I really learned how to be a hypocrite from him.
I woke up one day and found myself doing the same things that he was doing. Fortunately the Holy Spirit took all that junk out of my life and replaced it with His fruit. I'm not saying that I don't mess up some, but I don't live a lifestyle of sin like I used to, like my father still does.
Let me run for now.