Infidelity and divorce

06-18-2003, 12:32 AM

Something that I thought of while watching late night 700 Club...

How much infidelity/cheating should a spouse have to suffer before divorcing? If a spouse fornicates, is that unconditional grounds for divorce (if the other partner wants it)?

MicahB0B · 06-18-2003, 02:06 AM

I think forgiveness is very important, but only if first there is TRUE repentance on the part of the fornicator. I've heard of taking a 6 month period to determine if the person is truly repentant, or if you should just end it. I think this could work.

J'horra · 06-18-2003, 02:14 AM

Well I think the infidelity itself gives you grounds for the seperation. That being said I think each situation should be taken on a case by case basis to see if there is true repentence rather than just a knee jerk reaction.

Travis · 06-18-2003, 07:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Goodness

How much infidelity/cheating should a spouse have to suffer before divorcing? If a spouse fornicates, is that unconditional grounds for divorce (if the other partner wants it)?

What? Fornication is sex before marriage. So no, that's not grounds for divorce. You should either have forgiven her or refrain from marrying her.

Any adultery or infidelity is unconditional grounds for divorce is the other spouse wishes, though:

Matthew 5:31-32
"It was also said, 'Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.' But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery. And whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.

Tony · 06-18-2003, 07:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by is Goodness

Something that I thought of while watching late night 700 Club...

What? TBN wasn't on?

Quote:

How much infidelity/cheating should a spouse have to suffer before divorcing?

Technically, just once is enough. Jesus encourages forgiveness (70x7), but that's not a license to abuse.

Yojimbo · 06-18-2003, 08:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Travis

What? Fornication is sex before marriage. So no, that's not grounds for divorce. You should either have forgiven her or refrain from marrying her.

Dictionary.com says:

Sexual intercourse between partners who are not married to each other.

Quote:

Matthew 5:31-32
"It was also said, 'Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.' But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery. And whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.

Is it possible to think of divorce as the "just" thing to do? For example, in the same way that executing a murderer is the "just" thing to do? And what about that last clause, about not marrying a divorced woman? That seems kind of sexist, doesn't it?

**slap_j** · 06-18-2003, 10:19 AM

What about divorce in the case of spousal abuse?

Travis · 06-18-2003, 10:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Goodness

Is it possible to think of divorce as the "just" thing to do? For example, in the same way that executing a murderer is the "just" thing to do?

It is just, yes. However, while it is unjust for a murderer to not be executed it may not be unjust for the offended party to forgive the aduterous spouse.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Goodness

And what about that last clause, about not marrying a divorced woman? That seems kind of sexist, doesn't it?

What does!? Christ's instruction!?

SnapCase · 06-18-2003, 10:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Travis

What? Fornication is sex before marriage. So no, that's not grounds for divorce. You should either have forgiven her or refrain from marrying her.

I'm assuming that they are talking about a spouse that fornicates outside of their existing marriage and falls into the category of adultry.

I think Jesus gave the 'ok' for divorce on grounds of adultry just like Moses gave the 'ok' to give a certificate of divorce. I don't think God still finds it acceptable, but will allow it. Divorce, after all is an 'abomination' to God.

Travis · 06-18-2003, 10:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SnapCase

grounds of adultry just like Moses gave the 'ok' to give a certificate of divorce. I don't think God still finds it acceptable, but will allow it.

I think that's oxymoronic. God finds divorce abominable because sin is always involved, either by the adultery or by the wrongful divorce (in the event of a divorce without adultery). However, He obviously finds it acceptable and not sinful for the offended party to sue out a divorce if He gave them permission to do so.

**+Donny** · 06-18-2003, 10:59 AM

I disagree, DJ. Marriage is a covenant. Adultery is a rending or breaking of that covenant. Just as Israel committed repeated adulteries, God had justification for divorcing her (though He did so only after repeated terrible offences). It is completely just and acceptable to divorce someone who breaks the covenant they promised to keep.

SnapCase · 06-18-2003, 11:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Travis

However, He obviously finds it acceptable and not sinful for the offended party to sue out a divorce if He gave them permission to do so.

So.....why did he give Moses permission to then?

**+Donny** · 06-18-2003, 11:02 AM

Because of the hardness of the Jews' hearts. Christ does not, however, apply that to divorcing an adulteress/adulterer.

06-18-2003, 12:15 PM

God had justification for divorcing her (though He did so only after repeated terrible offences). It is completely just and acceptable to divorce someone who breaks the covenant they promised to keep.

So then God could divorce you too for breaking the covenant he has with you? I dont think this logic holds out...

ChrisHarbison · 06-18-2003, 12:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Donny

I disagree, DJ. Marriage is a covenant. Adultery is a rending or breaking of that covenant. Just as Israel committed repeated adulteries, God had justification for divorcing her (though He did so only after repeated terrible offences). It is completely just and acceptable to divorce someone who breaks the covenant they promised to keep.

No doubt it is a covenant, but when one party breaks the covenant, the covenant's been broken. The other party may choose to renew that covenant through forgiveness, but I think Scripture is QUITE clear that when adultry is involved, the divorce is fine on the grounds that the covenant's been broken. In this case, it's the guilty party is the one who broke the covenant by being unfaithful, NOT the party that got the divorce.