Who Killed the Pillsbury Doughboy?

timio · 08-13-2001, 12:18 PM

Who killed the Pillsbury Doughboy?

This is a crime folks and these are the suspects we have, so now we must figure out WHO DUN IT???

Timio

perhaps · 08-13-2001, 12:23 PM

its gotta be the trix rabbit

i mean hes always upset that he never gets to have any trix!

"trix are for kids, trix are for kids..."

he probably wanders around angry all day muttering those same familiar words over and over and over...

he's pretty depressing, and depression is a dangerous thing, folks

timio · 08-13-2001, 12:26 PM

My eyes are on Toilet Duck... the PBD's remenants probably got flushed... that's just my suspicion...

Timio

SenorPapaCabasa · 08-13-2001, 12:31 PM

Mr. Clean has to be a prime suspect. I mean...... his head is way to shiny. And, hes so big.... even PDB couldnt laugh at a blow to the stomach.... he looks supicious.......

Spudd · 08-13-2001, 12:33 PM

I think the bee put out his frustrations of not ever getting the stupid cereal on the doughboy....or maybe the bee decided to see how the doughboy would squeak if he stuck his stinger into his belly....cruel, I know, but that's the cheerios bee for ya.

YWING85 · 08-13-2001, 01:43 PM

whoa, just hold on one stinky minute, since when did the pillsbury dough boy die, and if he's dead, how come i wasn't invited to the funeral, i see how it is, it's all a big conspiricy, all of you are aliens and mickey is the head honcho of them all

timio · 08-13-2001, 01:53 PM

Here's the scoop for those who haven't heard yet:

It is with the saddest heart that I have to pass on the following:

The Pillsbury Doughboy died Monday of a severe yeast infection and complications from repeated pokes to the belly. He was 71.

Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin.

Dozens of celebrities turned out, including Mrs. Butterworth, the California Rasins, Hungry Jack, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, and Captain Crunch.

The graveside was piled high with flour as longtime friend Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy, describing Doughboy as a man who "never knew who much he was kneaded."

Doughboy rose quickly in show business but his later life was filled with many turnovers.

He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes.

Despite being a little flaky at times, even as a crusty old man, he was considered a roll model for millions.

Toward the end, it was thought he'd rise once again, but he was no tart.

Doughboy is survived by his second wife, Play Dough. They have two childres, and one in the oven.

The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.

--

You see, we think that the whole death was plotted and put through by one of the above culprates...

Timio

3e3c3e · 08-13-2001, 01:59 PM

I think it's the Keebler Elves. I think PBD was moving into their "territory" when he started with the cookie dough.

When you mess with the Keebler Elves, you end up swimming with the sharks.

-3e3c3e

SCCdcTFreak · 08-13-2001, 02:45 PM

I think it was the larger fluffy-type white guy that looks like a giant version of him. Sick of only having fame through the 80's movie "Ghostbusters," Mr. Stay Puft decided that he needed to make a drastic move to boost his celebrityism (im not sure if thats a word, but you know what i mean, so there). So, the Stay Puft marshmallow man devised an evil plan to get rid of his smaller, gentler and more famous counterpart.

Besides, any giant pastry-type person that goes on a rampage through NYC must have something bothering him, you know what I mean?

In Him,
† <>< S†ephen

Darn that Stay Puft marshmallow man . . .

bleachedrhino · 08-13-2001, 03:06 PM

I think it was the Aflac Duck, c'mon, those salesmen are really weird. I think he offered PBD some supplemental insurance, then PBD decided he was going to check out other types of Supplemental insurance. About this time, the duck decided that none of his competitors should lay claim to him if he couldn't.
Or it could have been that Gecko (geico). It is quite possible that PBD called gecko by accident and the gecko lost it, and in a rage, overcooked PBD screaming "GECKO NOT GEICO!"

YWING85 · 08-13-2001, 05:41 PM

i still think it's mickey

AznSkaterChick · 08-13-2001, 06:13 PM

i still think its the sugar crisp bear. he gets into way too much trouble with the police!!!

Playn4God · 08-13-2001, 07:48 PM

I think it was the Cheerios Bee, the Dough Boy was in love with his girlfriend so the bee stung him in the heart, sad!! it wasn't the Trix Rabbit, all he wanted was some Trix, why can't those kids give the poor rabbit some cereal?!

SenorPapaCabasa · 08-13-2001, 07:53 PM

I was watching a little innocent tv today and i saw someone else who could definetly be a suspect.... that big Kool-Aid pitcher guy. I mean... that guy is scary! He busts through a little kids wall while they are watching tv..... "OH YEAH!!! HEY KIDS... COME DRINK ME.... I JUST JUMPED THROUGH YOUR WALL". Agh... scary stuff!

rwaggie · 08-13-2001, 07:57 PM

Yeah, the weird blue-clad pirate killed poor ole' Pillsbury. It's just sooo obvious.

1) You have some poor hobo dressed in a Blue Pirate Outfit.
-- You know he's depressed. Depressed people scare me.
2) He flies around over-acting his part ramming his vessel into buildings just so he can be nice to kids.
-- Very uncommon practice.
3) Who else could do it, this guy is next to immortal. I mean, he hasn't changed since the '50's.
-- Umm... Not sure, but its bad.
4) He crunchitized the dough boy.
-- Now we know what those kids mean, this man is one evil person.
5) He must have had a bad relation with the dough boy when they were still young, back in the olde days. This anger must have suddenly appeared out of no-where, forcing the deranged-psycho hobo to poke the yeast out of old PB.

I rest my case.